Beautiful Mess(45)

What this meant for her, or what exactly she wanted from Cole, she still wasn’t sure. But she knew that ignoring him was no longer an option.

When Tuesday came around, Bri still hadn’t decided what to do about Cole, and she was dreading their tutoring session that night. She sat at the table, her leg bouncing nervously, waiting for him. The doorbell startled her, and with great trepidation, she answered the door.

Cole stood on the porch, hands in his pockets.

“Hey,” he smiled nervously before walking in and sitting at the table. “So, there’s something I kind of wanted to talk to you about before we get started. If that’s okay with you?” Cole’s nervousness was making Bri even more nervous.

“Okay,” she replied warily. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Okay,” he took a deep breath. “I meant what I said last week, Bri. I miss you. I miss talking to you. I miss the way you make me laugh. I miss being friends with you. I miss the way I feel when I’m around you.” He looked her right in the eyes. “And judging from the way you’ve been watching me lately, I think you miss me, too.”

Bri’s cheeks began to burn. Apparently she hadn’t been as stealthy as she’d thought.

“Yes,” she answered honestly after a moment. “I miss you. But the problem is, I don’t know if the Cole I knew is real, or if the jerk I see at school every day is who you really are. It’s like you’re two entirely contradictory people stuffed into the same body. I never know which Cole I’m going to get.”

Cole dropped his eyes. “Ambria,” he began softly, “I could tell you that you know the real me. That the person you see at school is nothing but a front. That when I’m with you, I can finally be myself.” He looked up at her sadly. “But I don’t think you’re going to believe anything I say. And I don’t blame you.”

Bri opened her mouth to say something cutting, but she closed it. She was tired of having the same fight with Cole. So, instead she waited for him to finish. When he realized he wasn’t going to be bashed verbally or physically, he continued.

“I want us to be friends again. The truth is, I like you, Bri. I still care about you. And I’ll do anything I can to prove that to you.”

Her breath caught, and her mind instantly flashed back to the night they went dancing and he almost kissed her. It seemed like forever ago. She’d known then that he truly felt something for her. Could he possibly still have those feelings for her? Did she want to find out?

“I don’t know, Cole...”

“Please Bri. I swear, anything you want me to do, I will.” He looked at her so longingly and earnestly, she almost believed him.

Then she remembered Cole kissing Serena at the football game, and her anger flared.

“So,” she narrowed her eyes at him. “You’ll talk to me at school? In class, in the halls? In front of your friends? In front of Serena? You’ll eat lunch with me and wait for me after school? You know, do all of those things a real friend would?” she challenged.

Cole’s face dropped and he ran his hands angrily through his hair.

“I can’t do that, Bri,” he groaned.

Pain lanced through her. Now she was hurt on top of angry. Damn him for making her feel this way again.

“And why not?” her voice dripped with venom. “I’m not worthy of your attention publically? I’m not good enough, or cool enough for you and your pretentious, stuck-up friends? Or is it because it’s not really my friendship you’re after?”

“Damn it, Bri, don’t lump me in with all of those other assholes you’ve dated! I’m not like that and you know it!”

“All evidence to the contrary,” she retorted. “And we barely dated at all. As far as I know, asshat-you just hadn’t had time to make an appearance yet. But, that is the real problem... I don’t know you,” she shook her head.

“Yes, you do!” he pressed desperately.

“Oh, yeah? Then prove it. Tell me why you are such a prick at school. If you want to be my friend so badly, why won’t you even acknowledge my presence, let alone talk to me?”

“Fine!” Cole was almost shouting now. “You want to know why? It’s because I’m trying to protect you! I’m trying to let you stay under the radar and out of the spotlight, like you want!” He calmed down a bit at Bri’s shocked expression. “All it would take is a little attention from me, and you would be Santa Monica’s favorite celebrity again, ripe for the gossip whores to pick you apart. And if you thought Trey was pushy before, he would go ballistic if he knew I liked you. He would take things to a whole new level, and I know you don’t want to deal with that. And if you thought the fallout from Trey’s attention was bad, just wait until you throw in my possessive, super jealous, and utterly ruthless ex-girlfriend into the mix! If Serena thought I was even remotely interested in you, she’d make your life a living hell. And believe me, she’s very good at it. Serena already doesn’t like you. I don’t want to give her any cause to hate you.”