Beautiful Mess(29)

“You have to understand that by that point I thought I was in love with him. I mistook infatuation for love, and I didn’t want to disappoint him. I thought he loved me, too, but I was stupid and naive,” she shook her head.

“What happened?” Cole asked after a moment.

“We went downtown with his friends and their girlfriends. We went to the party, and Jeremy and his friends had a lot to drink. Soon I got tired and bored, and told Jeremy I wanted to go back to the hotel. So we left his friends, and he led me up to what I thought was my room. But once I walked in and saw both of our bags, I knew he’d never intended on getting me a room. This had been his plan all along.

“He tried to make a move, and I shut him down. I grabbed my bag and told him I was leaving. Then he got angry.

“He told me what a worthless, waste of time I’d been, how I’d never thought or cared about his needs. He told me he couldn’t believe he’d wasted three months on me, and for nothing. And he said that he’d waited long enough and if I didn’t give him what he wanted, we were through. Of course, he used some much more, um, colorful language.

“So, what did you do?”

Bri scoffed. “I did what any self-respecting girl would do. I told him to F-off and I left.”

Cole smiled his approval. “Good for you.”

“Yeah, well, walking out was the easy part. The aftermath was a little harder. Finding out the guy you thought you thought you were in love with couldn’t care less about you and only wanted to get in your pants, was kind of an ego killer,” she smiled humorlessly. “After that, I swore off dating football players. Well, I guess I swore off dating, period. Not that I had much opportunity. Jeremy spread enough rumors about me that no one would come near me. I guess he decided that if he wasn’t getting any from me, no one else would, either. Did I mention he was a bit territorial?”

“Ambria, I’m so sorry,” Cole said sadly. “That guy is a complete and total dickhead. He didn’t deserve you.”

“Thanks,” Bri shrugged. “What about you? Did your ex break your heart?” Cole shook his head. “Oh, no, you’re not getting out of this! I spilled my guts, and now it’s your turn. That’s how this works.” She eyed him challengingly. “Come on. Or I won’t tell you anything else.”

“Alright, fine,” he sighed. “To answer your question, no, she didn’t break my heart. But I think I broke hers.” He looked down.

“What happened?”

“I told you I don’t have many close friends, right?” Bri nodded. “Well, the girls I dated were just that, dates. I didn’t get attached. We’d go out, have a good time, things would run their course and I’d move on. Nothing serious. That was how I wanted it. But, I was lonely, though I hated admitting it to myself. I was dating this girl at the time, and I liked her. She was pushing for more commitment, so I thought what the hell. I’d give it a try.

“So, we got serious. I stopped dating other girls and she became my girlfriend. After a couple of months, though, things began to change, and I think she fell in love with me. At least as much as she was capable of. When I realized this, I looked at my own feelings for her, and I found that I didn’t really have any. Don’t get me wrong, I was definitely attracted to her. And I enjoyed all the benefits of being a couple.”

He grinned brazenly at her, and Bri rolled her eyes at his innuendo.

“But there wasn’t anything more than that. Nothing deeper. I kept going, hoping that I would eventually develop some sort of feelings for her, but I didn’t. Then one day, she told me she loved me. I knew I’d never be able to reciprocate her feelings, or give her what she needed emotionally. So I did the only thing I could. I broke up with her.” Cole hung his head in shame. “I know this sounds awful, and I sound like a total ass. But I had to be fair to her. I couldn’t keep stringing her along in the hope that one day something would change. I did what I thought was right.”

Bri nodded. “And how did she take it?”

“Not well,” he smirked. “She had a few choice expletives for me. But eventually she realized it was for the best, and stopped loathing me with a vengeance. Now we’re kind of friends again.”

“Really?” Bri was skeptical. “Can you do that? Just go back to being friends after all that? I didn’t think that worked out very well.”

Cole shrugged. “Maybe not for most people. But I’m still friends with some of the girls I’ve dated.”

That sounded odd to Bri, but she didn’t want to push it.