Beautiful Mess(17)

“Oh, good,” she was relieved.

“What about you?”

“I really want to be an editor. I’m going to go to Stanford, as long as I don’t do anything stupid and mess it up, and major in English. Then, I might stay at Stanford and get my master’s degree, or I might go to New York, and get it there. I’m not quite sure yet.”

“Wow! It sounds like you’ve got your whole future all planned out already.”

“Well, yeah. You make it sound like a bad thing or something.”

“Oh, no, not at all. Nothing wrong with knowing what you want and where you’re going.”

Their food arrived, and they took a break from the heavy stuff, and talked about some lighter subjects. After sharing a delicious Tres Leches, they headed out to the pier. They wandered around the carnival-like atmosphere, played some games and rode some rides. It was the best time Bri had ever had on a first date. In fact, it didn’t feel like a first date at all. Except for those first few moments, there was no nervousness or awkwardness. It was surprisingly comfortable being around Cole. He was so personable and easy going, and he could make her laugh like no one else could.

In fact, the only thing Bri found difficult about the whole evening was keeping her eyes off him. She noticed the way his gray eyes lit up when he smiled, and the way his hair fell across his forehead and into his eyes. And she was definitely aware of how hot his butt looked in those jeans. She was happy to find that Cole seemed to be having trouble keeping his eyes off her, too. This, combined with the way she felt drawn to him, was beginning to make her nervous. She hadn’t felt this way about anyone in a long time, and it scared her. She barely knew him. She shouldn’t be feeling this attracted to him already. She was more aware of him than anything else around her, and that set off warning bells in her head.

But then Cole would catch her eye, and flash her a brilliant smile, and all her worries would fade away. Her heart would start fluttering, and there was nothing but the way he lit her up inside. Her body couldn’t get enough of it, even if her brain was wary.

In fact, her body was begging her for more as Cole walked her out to her car.

“Well, this is me,” she stopped next to her Mazda. She fidgeted with her keys, nervously.

Cole took a step closer, catching her eyes and holding her gaze.

“I had a really great time tonight,” she smiled, her heart picking up at his closeness. “More fun than I’ve had in a long time. Thank you.”

“I had a great time, too,” he said softly. His eyes seemed to darken in the moonlight. He reached out slowly, almost like he couldn’t stop himself, and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

Bri’s breath caught as his hand moved slowly from her hair, tracing her cheek and jaw with his fingertips. Her heart began pounding as he leaned in closer.

Cole’s lips inched closer to hers, and Bri’s body rejoiced. It begged for permission to press itself up against him, tangle her fingers in his hair, and kiss the crap out of him. She was shocked at how much she wanted this, how much he already affected her.

His lips were just millimeters from hers, when her brain started working again, and all of her earlier fears and doubts came flooding back. She had been right, she wasn’t ready for this. Things were moving too fast. Panic gripped her, and she forced herself to act.

“Wait,” Bri whispered desperately, just before their lips met.

“Okay,” Cole paused, his eyes darting up to hers questioningly. “I’m waiting...”

“Cole, I’m sorry, but I can’t,” she pleaded. Her body and mind were at war with each other, and it practically tore her in two to say that. She couldn’t hide the pain in her voice, or on her face, and she felt tears forming in her eyes. Cole let out a sigh and straightened. Seeing her stricken expression, he gently grabbed her shoulders, ducking his head a little to look right in her eyes.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he assured her. “What’s wrong?” He looked genuinely concerned.

“It has nothing to do with you, I promise. It’s all me.” Cole’s disappointment cut through her, and she felt she had to explain. “I know this will sound incredibly lame, and like a total cliché, but... the truth is, I went through a pretty rough break up and I’m just not ready for this yet. I just don’t think I have it in me to start anything romantically right now.” She felt a tear slip down her cheek as she realized just how much she wanted Cole to kiss her, and what a bad idea that would be. “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, or led you on or anything, but... I just can’t.” More tears began falling now. “I’m so sorry.”