Beautiful Distraction(61)

Mandy’s barely been gone a few minutes, and I’m already caught between a kitchen counter and this statue of a man, his breath on my neck.

“You know what, I think I’ll just grab some cookies on my way out,” I say.

“What kind?”

Kellan laughs, the sound low and so erotic, it travels all the way down and settles between my legs.

Turning around, I press my hands against his hard abs and push, but he doesn’t budge from the spot.

Now I’m really stuck.

“What do you want?” I whisper, my voice too low, too hoarse for my liking.

“You. All to myself.” He doesn’t even need to think. His words come out fast and casual, and completely take me off guard.

I peer all the way up into his green gaze, lost for words.

“You want me. I want you. We’re both consenting adults. We’re all alone on a big farm. What’s the harm?” Kellan continues.

Yes, what’s the harm indeed?

He’s so gorgeous it takes my breath away.

The kind you fuck, and then discard.

I’m a successful, mature woman who can handle a bit of sex without getting her feelings involved.

“Let me guess, no strings attached?” I can’t believe I’m even considering this when I should be smacking him.

“No strings attached.” His eyes bore into me. His gaze is so penetrating, I can almost feel him inside my core, and he isn’t even touching me. “That’s all I’ll ever be able to give you.”

“I don’t even know you,” I say stupidly, like people only sleep with people after having read their résumé. “I shouldn’t be staying here alone with you.”

“You knew me well enough to let me go down on you,” Kellan remarks.

My jaw drops.

“The way I see it, you don’t need to know me to fuck me,” Kellan says. “So, what do you say? You get the vacation you wanted, and I get to teach you all about sex. Good sex.”

I have no doubt about that. Like my mother once said, guys like him are the building blocks of the fond memories that keep us all wet and writhing through years of doomed marriages and monotony.

I sigh.

If I’m to enter something I’ve never experienced before, I need to do it on my own terms.

“Tell me something about you,” I say.

“What do you want to know, Ava?”

“Are you dating anyone?”

“I told you I’m single. I’m a lot of things, but not a cheater,” Kellan says.

I stare at him as I try to read his features. His expression is honest. Suddenly, the million obstacles in my head seem to evaporate. “Good. Because I don’t condone cheating.”

“Because of the ex you told me about?”

I shrug, as though it’s not a big deal when it is. A huge one. “It’s the past. A long time ago. Doesn’t matter. There were others since. Nothing serious though.”

His eyes narrow slightly, but he doesn’t press the issue, for which I’m grateful. My demons are mine to exorcize.

“Anything else you want to know?” Kellan prompts.

I shrug and look away, as though I’m pondering over possibilities and choices, when in fact I know exactly what I want to know. “What were you doing in New York?”

I could have asked anything in the world, and yet the one question he evaded before is the one I need answered.

Because to fuck him, I need to trust him. I need to trust that he’s open and honest.

His stance changes instantly. His shoulders are tense as he turns away from me. “Business.”

“What kind of business?” I persist.

“Ava.” His tone is clipped, betraying his hesitation and inner turmoil. I know it’s not my place to ask, and it’s most certainly none of my business, but I can’t just not know anything about him. I can’t be detached like that. My body might not mind, but my head doesn’t work that way.

Our gazes meet in a fierce but silent battle. For a split second, his eyes shimmer with stubbornness. Irritation. Even animosity.

I speak first. “I need to be able to trust you.”

He blows out a breath and rakes his fingers through his hair, the tension in his shoulders magnifying. “Let’s just say bad interpersonal decisions. Relationships are great as long as they don’t turn bad. And in the end, all turn to dust.”

Marriage?

Imminent divorce?

I wait for him to elaborate, but he doesn’t.

I guess that’s all the answer I’ll get.

“So, what do we do about that guy who hurt you?” A lazy smile creeps up his face, and just like that, all the tension seems to evaporate from him.

God, I love it when he smiles. It’s like we’re the only two people in the world and his smile is only for me.