Beautiful Distraction(43)
It’s been too long.
The attraction I feel for him reminds me of that.
I can feel the shift inside my head.
It’s not like I haven’t hooked up with guys before.
It’s not like I want him to put a ring on that finger.
I’m available. He’s available. Except, is he? Who’s the blond woman in the picture on the fireplace? Why don’t I believe that she’s his sister?
Because he won’t elaborate.
Because the one man I loved in the past lied to me. Told me the same bullshit story.
“Ava?” Kellan’s voice is a deliciously hoarse rumble.
What’s the harm indeed?
I’m not a cheater—that’s the harm. I won’t do to others what others have done to me.
“I was in love with someone,” I whisper at last.
The words are out before I can stop them.
My reply has his instant attention. His shoulders tense; his whole body does.
“He cheated,” I continue as I glance up at him. “He was my first love. My first in everything. I gave him my whole heart, and he broke it.” I take in Kellan’s face, expecting nonchalance, but there’s nothing nonchalant about his expression. “Now you know why I reject you. It’s because I won’t go through something like that again,” I say. “I’m sorry. It’s not personal. It’s not you. It’s me. I’m so sick of guys who play with your emotions. I won’t ever get hurt again.”
“I had no idea.”
I shrug and turn my back to him. “It’s okay.”
“Do you want me to beat him up? I’m good at it.”
His question takes me by surprise. “You would do that?”
“Give me his address and I’ll get it done.” He smirks. “Actually, I don’t even need his address. His name will do.”
I let out a laugh. “You can’t be serious.”
He returns my smile. “You might want to say it one more time and see what happens.”
I sigh and touch his hand, squeezing it gently. It feels so good, rough, as if life has shaped him, too. “No, thank you. But I do appreciate the offer.”
“You sure?” He cocks one eyebrow. “You’re not saying that because you have pity on him?”
“It’s over. Definitely. I’ve moved past him. To be honest, I’m not even sure what I saw in that guy. It’s definitely a good thing we’re over.”
Kellan’s hand moves up to my face and I hold my breath, excited at the prospect that he’ll kiss me again. But he doesn’t. “I don’t know who he is, but he’s damn stupid for letting a beautiful woman like you go. It’s his loss.”
And then he withdraws his hand and gets up, his focus turning to the window. “It’s about to start raining again. I have to get the horses in.”
“I’m sorry I can’t help you with the farm work. Is there something else I can help you with?” I ask.
He runs his fingers through his hair and then shakes his head. His expression is casual, his eyes two dark pools of emotions I cannot read.
He’s unperturbed.
Whatever our kiss did to me, I’m not sure it had the same effect on him. Or maybe he’s so good at hiding it because he does it so often.
The thought stings, but I didn’t expect anything else from him. He’s made it pretty clear that he doesn’t date. He only ever fucks.
At least he’s honest—unlike my ex.
“You need to rest now. You’ll be okay to walk in a few hours,” Kellan remarks. “I’ll be back this evening.”
He glances at me one more time before heading out. For a moment, I stare at the empty space he just occupied, wondering how I could possibly learn to read a guy who’s a closed book.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Kellan’s right. The pain in my ankle lessens over the course of a few hours.
After our kiss, it seems that he can’t get away from me fast enough. Or maybe he really is busy.
From the open window in the kitchen, I watch him take Brenna, saddle and mount her, then kick her into a trot. His eyes meet mine. I give him a short wave before he disappears with Sniper by his side. I stare into the open space for a long time, alone with my thoughts, confused.
One moment, he tells me he doesn’t like me, the next he’s expressing his readiness to beat up my ex.
He’s a man shrouded in mystery and contradiction.
Eventually, I sigh and hobble to my feet, giving up trying to make sense of him.
I’ve no idea what to do with myself in this strange house as I head through the hall to familiarize myself with all the rooms.
The space is huge. All the rooms are tastefully furnished in a rustic style, but carry a male touch. The ensuite bathrooms are clean but empty. Devoid of life. Like Kellan hasn’t had any visitors in a long time.