Beautiful Distraction(169)
I tilted my chin up to inspect myself in the narrow mirror strip on the left side of the elevator. My navy skirt and the white ruffle top that emphasized my narrow waist looked presentable enough, and certainly didn’t reflect the way I felt inside. Soft ringlets of dark hair cascaded down my shoulders. My lips were painted a sheer red tint, and my cheeks were dusted with just a hint of bronzing powder to highlight my new tan, courtesy of the lovely Italian weather. Come to think of it, I had paid way more attention to my outfit and hair than I should have. I didn’t want to be pretty for him. I wanted him to look at me and acknowledge what he couldn’t have anymore, what he was losing out on. That was how I want him to remember me...composed and poised, as though his actions never hurt me.
Deep down I knew I had to get him out of my system as fast as I could, but the thing with love is, you cannot choose who you fall for. Falling in love often happens at the wrong time, in the wrong place, with the wrong person. Just as much as you cannot stop growing feelings for a certain man, there’s no switch to turn off your heart. And even though my mind knew better, it was powerless against the weak, sappy fool I called my heart. To me, love was a drug. Jett was my drug. It kept me addicted to him, making my thoughts circle back to him and him alone. The best way to escape was to get away, which was the plan, right after breaking up with Jett.
The elevator doors opened, spitting me out into the chic reception area. Emma was nowhere in sight, and I used the opportunity to dash for my office. Not that I didn’t like Emma, but in my twisted logic she belonged to Jett’s world, and if I was to push him out of my life for good, I had to ensure I was getting rid of all accessories in the process. If I could erase all traces and memories of ever being here, then I would. As much as I liked this building and some of the people working here, I didn’t like that everything belonged to him. Forgetting the past involved leaving everything behind—everything I’d ever associate with him.
I squeezed all my belongings into my oversized bag and searched the drawers for the rest of my stuff. It wasn’t much, just a bunch of pens and notepads, a diary and address book, a digital voice recorder for taking notes on the go, and the cactus I brought over from Sunrise Properties. It wasn’t much, and from all the belongings I probably would have only missed my plant, but I didn’t want to forget anything.
At ten past seven the hallway was quiet, with only a handful of people sipping their morning coffee in the company’s own kitchen cum bar area. I used the opportunity to leave my office and sneak behind their backs into Jett’s office with no one noticing, and closed the door behind me. Luckily, Jett didn’t lock the door. I closed the drapes, and then moved over to his desk. I knew he hadn’t arrived yet because he never started work before eight, and I would have seen him pass by my office. I figured doing what I was about to do would scare me.
It didn’t.
My heartbeat remained surprisingly calm as I sat down in his chair and began to open one drawer after another, skimming through his files. People say the truth can set you free. I hoped that by finding evidence in a written form I could finally force my heart to let go of its foolish hopes. By knowing the truth, I could maybe free myself from Jett’s magic and expose him for the bastard he was. A few minutes later I found three files, all marked as Lucazzone’s estate. My heart hammered in my chest, as I picked up the largest one.
I sat down in his chair and opened it with trembling as ice cold dread settled in the pit of my stomach. The first page provided a summary of everything he needed to know about the estate, from its value to its size, to the current owner.
My name was right at the bottom, marked as the heir. A small sob escaped my throat. There was my answer and all the proof I needed. I had no more excuses left for him. Instead of immediate relief, more pain shot through me because I knew some part of me had still hoped, prayed, wished that I was wrong, even though I had known all along I wasn’t.
Unshed tears pricked the corners of my eyes as I closed the file and returned it to its drawer, and then I resumed my seat in his chair, mentally preparing my words. I knew I couldn’t possibly mean anything to him; it was just a ploy to get what he wanted. His feelings for me weren’t his weakest point, but his ego was. I wanted to hurt him as much as he had hurt me.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Eyes closed, my forehead pressed against the cold glass window to cool my feverish skin, I didn’t know how much time passed or how long I just sat there, lost in the dark void of my emotions. When reason finally pushed through, urging me to leave this place, I re-arranged the files in his cabinet and grabbed my bag to leave. The door clicked open and Jett entered. As usual, he looked divine dressed in one of his business suits with his hair all messed up, his green eyes twinkling at my sight, leaving me weak and exposed. A sharp pang of pain cut off my air supply, and I turned my gaze onto the soft rug beneath my feet so he wouldn’t see the damage he had inflicted upon me. I didn’t want him to see all the uproar he had caused. He didn’t deserve the knowledge.