But that wasn’t how Doug felt about Pauline—now, or ever.
“You’re right,” he said to Pauline. “The things you say are all at least partially correct. I felt so strongly about Beth that it wasn’t fair of me to marry you or anyone else. And I’m sorry for that.”
“Sorry?” Pauline said. “You’re sorry?”
“It wasn’t fair to you,” Doug said.
“You’re damn right it wasn’t fair,” Pauline said. “I married you because I was in love with you. I married you because I wanted to be in a good relationship, one that succeeded. You, more than anyone, knew how I needed that. You knew what I endured with Arthur, you knew I deserved better, and you promised to deliver.”
Doug said, “I promised to do the best that I could. I promised I would give you everything I was able. I’m sorry if it isn’t enough.”
“Damn right it isn’t enough,” Pauline said. “It isn’t even close to enough. I want a divorce.”
“What?” Doug said.
“I want a divorce,” Pauline said.
“Oh,” Doug said. He thought, What is happening here? Was it what he thought was happening, or was it some kind of confusing trap? He stood very still, afraid to move an inch or whisper a word. He didn’t have to be the bad guy? Pauline had read his mind and done exactly as he wished? She had asked for a divorce? Was it really going to be this easy? “All right. We can start the process when we get home, then.”
He heard Pauline sob, but he turned and left the room before she could speak. He didn’t want her to take it back. He didn’t want her to give him one last chance.
Outside, the fire raged. Roger had done a beautiful job building a fire pit, and people sat in a circle in beach chairs and on blankets. Jenna and Stuart had changed out of their wedding clothes into matching T-shirts that said Just Married. Rhonda was still in her bridesmaid dress; she was talking to Ryan and his boyfriend. Autumn was cozied up with the other twin brother on a blanket, and Finn was nestled in Nick’s lap in the scoop of a Sleepy Hollow chair. Doug stared at Finn and Nick, wondering what exactly he was seeing. If Doug wasn’t mistaken, he and Pauline had attended Finn’s wedding in October. Had something happened between Finn and Scott already? It seemed like just yesterday that Bud Sullivan was joking about how relieved he was to get Finn off his payroll. Scott Walker wasn’t here, Doug had realized that, but he thought that was because Scott had a commitment elsewhere. Doug couldn’t tell if Nick and Finn were actually canoodling or only horsing around. He hoped for the latter. When he’d thought earlier that he wanted Nick to get married, he had not been thinking of Finn. No, that would never work. Doug had thirty-five years of professional experience telling him that.
Doug took a handful of potato chips and strolled over to talk to Jenna and Stuart.
“This is nice,” Doug said. The bandleader had a guitar and started to strum the first chords of “Helplessly Hoping,” by Crosby, Stills, and Nash.
Jenna gazed up at Doug. “Have you seen Margot? I’m worried about her.”
“Not since the bouquet,” Doug said.
Jenna motioned for Doug to come closer, so he crouched by her chair. “Drum Sr. is getting married again in the fall,” Jenna said. “I think Margot might be shaken up about it.”
Drum Sr. getting married? That meant Margot would be getting him off the payroll—no more palimony. Margot could only feel happy about that, right? If Margot seemed upset, it would be because of Edge. But maybe Jenna didn’t know about Edge. Was this possible? Theirs was a family where it was arduous to keep track of who confided what to whom. Doug was grateful for all he knew, and even more grateful for what he didn’t know.
“I’m sure she’s fine, honey,” Doug said. “She’ll probably be here any minute.”
“I don’t want her to miss this,” Jenna said. “We planned this part together.”
It was comforting: the fire, the snacks, the guitar, and the singing. Doug poured himself a beer from the keg, and as he took the first sip, he realized he felt younger and lighter than he had in years.
He sat in one of the last empty chairs. He wanted to move closer to Jenna and Stuart—they were all the way over on the opposite side of the circle—but he figured it was now time to start giving his little girl and her new husband some space.
“I’m going to make a s’more,” he said. “Would someone hand me a stick?”
Beanie passed Doug a stick and the bag of marshmallows. But before Doug could skewer his marshmallow, someone shoved the back of his shoulder, and he inadvertently kicked his beer over. He turned to see Pauline, her face lit a raging orange. She held the Notebook in front of Doug’s face, and for a second he thought she was going to smack him with it.