Beautiful Burn(11)

She sighed. “It's been tough, helping my grandma since she had the stroke. She's in therapy three days a week, but progress is slow. It's so hard to see her get down on herself or disappointed when she can't do the things she used to do. She'll get through it, she's the toughest person I know, but it's hard to watch her struggling.” Auburn paused as she watched the cool waves licking at the tips of her toes. “When Grams had the stroke, I knew I couldn't stay away all summer. We’ve been so close for so long, seeing her those first few days in the hospital made me realize she won’t always be here. Whatever I was going to do at Central was nothing compared to talking books and reality shows and boys with Grams.”

“Sounds like you've found the secret to life.”

“What's that?”

“The things that matter most are the relationships we have with the people we love. It’s all that remains in the end.”

“Yeah,” she agreed as she gazed out at the shimmering water.

“You know you can talk to me, about anything. Always.” I brushed the tips of her fingers, tracing anxious circles in the sand.

“Thank you.” She said with sincerity.

“Gonna share some of that?” I asked, jovially, sensing she needed the change of topic.

“Always.” She passed me the joint. “Mr. West.” She grinned wickedly.

“Don’t go there,” I admonished in sexy warning.

“What? I’m a girl with manners and morals. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She grinned the sexiest grin I’d ever seen grace a woman’s lips.

I leaned in, close enough that my breath washed the skin at her neck as I spoke. “Is that why you’re out on the beach at night smoking a joint with your teacher?” I finished before inhaling a substance I hadn’t touched since college.

I exhaled and watched as her breathing accelerated and her fingers dug into the sand at her sides. “He’s not my teacher anymore,” she finally answered.

I took in another smooth hit of the tightly wrapped flower and exhaled, relaxing back on my arms to watch the lighthouse beam cutting through the murky darkness of night. The marijuana seeped into my system one cell at a time before it began to pulse and pound through my blood, intensifying every thought, every sight, every feeling.

“That’s debatable,” I finally replied. And with those words it dawned on me that she and I were twisted and wrapped up, an innocent history woven with a precarious present, and we were both getting off on it. It was hot.

She was forbidden and dangerous -- we were playing with fire and would without a doubt get burned, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave. I was rooted and standing at the eve of my own destruction. My body raged at me to abandon my morals as my primal need to take and take and take until she was spent and used and hadn’t a drop left to give obsessed me. “Auburn?”

“Yeah?” She turned, passed me the dwindling joint, and waited expectantly.

“You should leave.” It was the last thing I wanted her to do, but I had to do this right. She deserved someone that could give everything to her and the realization that that could never be me was like a razor blade to my heart.

Her great big, dark eyes stared back at me, refusing to break my gaze. “Why?” she said without fear or hesitation. “So we can ignore this feeling, these feelings we’ve ignored for years? I’m tired of acting like there isn’t anything between us.” She looked out to the water, light reflecting on the determination in her eyes. “Maybe I’m crazy, maybe you only see a teacher and an immature student with a crush. But I don’t think so.” If my heart wasn’t about to explode now it stood no chance when she turned back to me, placed one hand on my cheek and took a deep breath. “We have had a connection since our paths first met. I tried not to think about you, I tried to put those thoughts away, chalk them up to a crush, but I can’t. Seeing you again ignited the feelings in my soul, right or wrong. When you kissed me it was like the last three years apart fell away. How can this be wrong?” Pulling her hand away, I flinched at the loss. “Tell me. if this is a simple crush or you are only here out of some misplaced sense of loyalty, obligation, or fuck! I don’t know, ego, please tell me now, Reed.” My blood thickened in my veins and heated me from the inside out. Everything I had thought and felt, I should have known she'd felt it too. The pull between us was too strong not to be shared. I was about to pull her towards me when she looked up and asked the question. That one underlying, life changing, dangerous, question. “Is this real?”