Beautiful Broken Mess(83)

I quickly realize that my body is only going to function for a couple more seconds. When I hit the pillow, I quickly succumb to my extreme exhaustion and fall into a deep sleep, without removing my shoes or jeans.

I dream about Audrey. I dream about her on the beach, in the back of my car, and at one point, I see her silhouette watching a train fly by. I also dream that she comes into my room in the middle of the night.

When I reach out for her, I magically feel her soft, smooth skin. I’ve missed her sweet face and her body touching mine. In my dream, I pull her on top of me and I don’t even hesitate to touch my lips to hers. She comes willingly and as always with trust. I love this girl with everything I have. I can’t believe she is letting me touch her after everything I’ve done. I’ll always need her touch.

Too soon, she shoves off of my chest and moves away from me. The room is dark but I feel her hesitate right before she scrambles out. The only sound I hear is the click of the door. Dreaming about her only makes me ache more for her.#p#分页标题#e#

I want to chase her. Keep her next to me forever. I never should have let my stupid mouth speak before my brain could filter out the foolishness. But my body feels heavy and I slowly sink further into my mattress. I beg and plead for my legs to move, for my body to allow me to chase after her. I want keep her in my dreams all night. Instead, my eyes listlessly close and I crash harder into sleep, leaving only the faint taste of her chapstick on my lips.



A continuous buzzing rattles me out of the deepest sleep I think I’ve ever had. Apparently sleeping upright for days on end can take a harder toll on your body than I thought. I reach out and slap my alarm clock, begging it to leave me be. After all, if my brother can “sleep” for nine days, why can’t I?

I know Dr. Graham said we could easily be looking at a couple of weeks, but for some reason I really thought he would pull out faster than this. All of his scans continuously come back showing signs of improvement, so why isn’t he opening his eyes? I hope he doesn’t think he can just lie there forever, because I won’t have it. Not gonna happen. I need him to wake up.

When the buzzing doesn’t stop, I lift up my heavy head and glare at the device causing my disturbance. The alarm clock is not flashing like it typically would, and it’s then that I realize it’s my cell phone that’s actually going off. Shit, sleeping in the hospital is really messing me up. I reach and grab for the phone and without looking at my caller, I slide my finger across the screen and answer.

“Jace, it’s your brother.” My mom’s voice kick-starts my heart and I almost don’t want to hear what she’s going to say next. “He’s awake. I need to tell Em, but I had to tell you first.”

“Shit! For real?” I scramble up to my feet. “Shit, mom.”

“Yeah, he started fluttering his eyes all night, but the nurses told me that I shouldn’t get my hopes up. That sometimes this happens. But about an hour ago, he started trying to open his eyes. They rolled him off to do a CT scan and EEG, but he should be back real soon. He wasn’t fully awake or anything, and who knows what he’ll be like when he comes back.”

“What the fuck? Why didn’t you call me AN HOUR AGO?” I yell.

“Excuse me, Jace...language,” she replies sternly. “I’ve been running around signing paperwork and talking to doctors. They needed to run some tests, so none of us would have been able to see him anyway. Now you can come up here and be in the room before he gets back. I also need you to grab some clothes for him when you come.”

“MOM, A FUCKING HOUR AGO. How could you do this?” I roar.

Click.

Okay, maybe I deserved that. Put another check mark in my asshole box, but I still feel like she should have called a century ago. I knew coming back here to sleep was a bad idea.

I hurriedly change out of my dirty clothes. Rifling through my drawers, I grab articles of clothing that resemble a t-shirt and a pair of shorts, although I don’t stop to check. Then I run out into the hallway, sprint into Jax’s room, and throw items I think he will want into a bag. Em rushes into the apartment with wide, terrified eyes, wearing the same clothes she had on yesterday. She doesn’t have to speak. We don’t need words, instead we both run.

In true Southern California fashion, we get stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic for an extra thirty minutes. I should have expected this. I don’t know why I took the freaking highway. Em clutches her seat tightly and sways impatiently back and forth, but she doesn’t say a word. She’s been weird this week, like off-her-rocker weird. She smiles way too much, and I still haven’t seen her get upset once about Jax’s situation. She just repeats the phrase, “He’ll be okay,” over and over again.#p#分页标题#e#