I tiptoe down the hallway quietly and open Jace’s door. Fortunately, even in the darkness I can make out my book lying next to his nightstand on the floor, right where I left it. Unfortunately, Jace is lying in his bed as well. He must have come in and passed out quickly. He’s lying on top of his covers, still fully clothed. He has one hand sprawled out above his head and one draped across his chest.
I didn’t even think to look for his car out front. Em told me that he’s been sleeping in a chair in Jax’s room. It’s too dark to see his face, but he must be exhausted if he hasn’t slept in a bed in over a week.
I reach down, grab my book, and turn for his door when a hand grabs me and tugs me down without missing a beat. I gasp at the sudden, unexpected movement. I still can’t see his eyes in the darkness, but I can feel his lips move against mine. For a few seconds, I allow myself this.
The amazing part is touching him, feeling his body close to mine. I run my hands through his hair while his skim slowly up my back. Our lips meet hungrily, as if it has been another four years since they have touched and not a little over a week. He pulls me in tighter and almost desperate.
The painful part is that this feels like a goodbye. A simple parting gift. My heart breaks a little at the idea of saying goodbye to him. I knew this would come though. Jace and I are from two different worlds. I have my penny and my memories, and those should keep me company for at least a little while longer.
I shove away from him before the moment becomes even more agonizing and I clamber out the door. When I escape into the hallway, I lean up against the wall. I will him to come out here and find me. I want him to tell me that he’s not letting me go or that he just needs time until Jaxon wakes up. All of this I would understand, but I need him to tell me. I can’t stand his silence and I can’t assume what he’s thinking, especially when it feels as if his lips just gave me a farewell kiss.#p#分页标题#e#
- Eighteen -
JACE -
After eight days, Em and I start to closely resemble the walking dead. At first we went home to shower and change, but now we just shower in the restroom here and have Quinn bring us fresh clothes when she visits. They had Jax in a unit where we were only allowed to visit for ten minutes every hour, but later they moved him to a Neuro-ICU. The nurses here have taken pity on us, allowing much longer visits, although we do still get kicked out a couple of hours each day during their “quiet times.”
There isn’t much activity with a coma patient so Em sneaks into Jax’s bed to catch some sleep while the nurses are out of the room. Only one nurse has caught her. She didn’t say anything though when she realized Em wasn’t disturbing his lines or tubes, but she still frowned about it. I, on the other hand, have been sleeping in a chair. I wake up multiple times a night with my head bobbing up and down and a strain in my neck. A few nights ago, I stumbled out of the hospital and before I knew where I was going, I had pulled into Audrey’s parking lot. I held her for as long as I could allow myself to stay and when it became too painful, I snuck back out to return to my chair.
Mom stays at the apartment so she can get a decent rest. There must be something to it because she has definitely been in a much better mood than the rest of us. Tonight, she finally kicked us out and demanded that we not return until we sleep in a real bed and shower for more than ten minutes. It’s a slow, sluggish walk out of the hospital for the two of us. We know we need to go, but wants and needs are two vastly different things.
Em keeps me awake on the drive home, talking about what I think Jaxon would like for her to read to him tomorrow. I want to shout, ‘He’s in a damn coma for God’s sake, he can’t hear you!’ But I’ve already been enough of an asshole to one girl this week. So I just ignore her for the remainder of the drive.
My feet are heavy as I traipse through the apartment. The second I see my bed, my heart sinks at the thought of the last time I slept here. Audrey was snuggled up with me, and I remember the sound of her contagious laughter as she tried to “stealthily” sneak into my room that night. Jaxon and Em weren’t even home, but she didn’t have to know that. The second her head popped in through the door, she immediately dove under the covers with me. I also remember telling her how I’d never let her go, which is true, I haven’t let her go, but I did fuck this whole situation up.
I should have let her comfort me. Hell, maybe I wouldn’t have made it through this week ten pounds lighter if I had. I definitely wouldn’t feel this homesick. I feel like I’ve lost my home without her and Jaxon. I know Jaxon will make it through this, but will I have Audrey when it’s all said and done?