I rarely sleep, and when it does come around, it’s only for a few hours here and there. I feel as if I’m running on pure adrenaline, but I know eventually it will hit me and I’ll crash hard. I’ve scrubbed down the apartment and even tried to hit the gym with Lane once. Going to a gym that only has men is not fun. I don’t care how hot those guys are. I never want to be that self-conscious about the way I look while working out again.
I get off work early tonight because the customers actually clear out pretty quick for once. Lane has bags under his eyes from the stress of trying to figure what he can do for me, but I don’t need anyone’s help. I’m handling this fine. I’m ready to get on with my life.
I realize that for five days I’ve kept Lane from sleeping a full night. So when I climb into bed, I force myself to stay and not roam the apartment. Just as I begin to calm down and think about the idea of sleep, my window slides open. I startle as I watch a pair of long legs slip through the window. Chuck gets up with a wagging tail to greet my intruder.
I can instantly tell by the size and build that it’s Jace. I stay quiet and watch him navigate himself through my room. He steps out of his shoes, slips off his pants, and yanks his shirt over his head. Slowly, he crawls into my noisy bed and searches for me in the dark. He doesn’t say a word, and I can’t catch enough breath to formulate one.
When his hand reaches my body, he grabs a hold of me and pulls me into the safety of his arms. He’s breathing heavily and he buries his face in my hair. His hands hold me tight and it’s hard to catch a breath from the amount of pressure he’s placing on me, but I don’t have the heart to pull away. He needs me.
“Jace...” I whisper in the dark. But he never responds and when I wake up in the morning, I’m the one left all alone this time.
I bend down to pull out my newest batch of blueberry muffins. The apartment smells delicious, but I’m not sure what I’m going to do with all of these baked goods.
“Jesus Christ, Audrey. If you pull one more batch of carbs out of that oven, I’ll go insane!” Lane grumbles from behind me.
“I think you’re already there,” I reply calmly.
“I don’t like this. I don’t like how you’re acting. You’re not dealing with this right. Shouldn’t you be crying or bitching about him or eating a tub of ice cream?” he questions, while grabbing a chocolate muffin and taking a big bite.#p#分页标题#e#
I look around the kitchen at all of the pastries I’ve made this past week and a half. I don’t know why I did it, except that it helps to keep my mind occupied. Unfortunately, I’m running out of ideas. Since sleep doesn’t come and I can only work so many hours, baking is the next best thing.
He looks down at the muffin that he just mindlessly took a bite out of and growls loudly. He glares at me in frustration, as if he didn’t realize he was eating the baked goodness, and harshly throws the remainder in the trash.
“See? I can’t keep eating this junk! Make it go away.”
“Shouldn’t you be happy I’m not crying all over the place?” I ask, while scrubbing down the counters.
“No, because I know you’re sad, but for some reason you’re holding it all in. Pretend I’m a chick.” He props his elbows up on the bar, rests his chin in his hands, and looks at me thoughtfully. Brat. “Seriously doll, pour your little heart out. I’m here to listen.”
“You’re ridiculous,” I reply, while searching for a container that can hold the blueberry muffins. I haven’t told Lane about Jace’s late-night visit a few evenings ago. I don’t know what to think of it myself, so I can’t say it out loud.
“Talk,” he growls.
“No,” I reply flatly.
“Talk.”
“Where do you think we’ll live after we graduate?” I ask, changing the subject.
“That’s not what I wanted to talk about and you know it. But I figured I’d have to follow you to Texas.”
“You would have done that?” I ask, surprised.
“Of course. You’re my family.”
I walk around the counter and hug him tightly. “Now you’re just trying to make me cry.”
“Did it work?” he laughs.
“No!” I laugh while pushing away from him.
“Well, just to humor you, let’s go check out my hometown.”
“New York?” I ask, surprised.
“Yeah. I haven’t seen my mom in a while. I don’t know if I’d ever want to live there again, but we can go look.”