“What are you doing here, Audrey? I said I would come back to meet you at the apartment after my classes,” Jaxon growls at me.
Think of something, Audrey. “What, I can’t come hang out with my hubby? Besides, it doesn’t look like you’re in class anyway,” I joke. Sometimes I still can’t believe that we were so immature to run off and get married. But then again, I had already made the biggest mistake of my life four weeks before that…
“HUBBY?” Emerson gasps. Uh-oh…
“Audrey, shut the hell up!” Jaxon yells, while reaching for Emerson.
As he calls out to her retreating form, I realize that I just made Mess #7,594. She obviously didn’t know about our sham of a marriage that was immediately annulled, and my big mouth just tried to joke about it.
“She didn’t know? Jaxon… I’m so sorry…. I figured since you two are together… she had to know…. Shit! I’m so sorry. I was trying to make a joke.”
He points directly at me and says, “Go home. Not my home. Yours.”
I know Lane has a night class and I don’t want him to have to skip, so he’ll have to come back up to get me tomorrow morning. “I leave first thing in the morning,” I assure him.
“You bought a ticket?” he asks tersely.
“Sure,” I reply and begin my walk back to the apartment. Once Jace finds out I’ve pissed off Em, he definitely won’t want to talk to me either.#p#分页标题#e#
Basically, the whole week has been one big, fat flashing neon sign telling me to forget about this whole pipe dream I’ve had and move on. The one thing I can say is that I’ll never look back on this time and regret not trying. I’ve made the effort and gone the distance. Once again, no one has put in any energy toward me. I need someone who wants to meet me halfway, and I deserve it. Besides, I need to stop lusting after a guy I met three years ago, and who has barely said a handful of words to me since.
Jace doesn’t want me, I finally understand that, and Jaxon never even tried to speak to me amicably. Anytime I approached him, he practically snarled at me. If this had been four years ago, I would have been able to think of a million different reasons why people should hate me. Not now though. Now I think Jaxon is an asshole and Jace just doesn’t care.
Present day…
I slowly return from my painful memories to hear whispering coming from outside of the kitchen. I’m supposed to be unpacking, but the furthest I’ve gotten is taking three glass mugs out of one cardboard box.
“Watch this boy.” I look into the dining room and see Lane sitting at our table with Chuck between his legs. “And… she’s back,” he says, patting Chuck’s copper-colored fur. “Wow doll, that must have been a good one.”
I have always had a habit of zoning out for long periods of time, which is probably a side effect of my past. If you imagine yourself anywhere else, you just might forget about what’s happening in the present. While I don’t get beat anymore, I still find myself getting lost in thought all of the time. It’s easy for my mind to slip in and out. Lane likes to make light of the subject, but I can tell it worries him.
“How long was I out?” I ask, as I begin putting the remaining mugs into the cabinet.
“I’m not sure, but it was a while. I finished unpacking the truck, and then Chuck and I sat here waiting for your return.”
Moving here has been throwing me off lately. “Damn, I really need to snap out of it. How am I supposed to pay attention in class again soon?”
“I hate to say ‘I told you so,’ but you shouldn’t have gotten a taste. Ever since winter break, it’s only gotten worse. You should have already learned your lesson from your disaster visit up to see him. You need to go out there and just bang someone new. It’ll help, I swear,” he chuckles, while giving me his devilish grin. I know he’s full of shit because he rarely lets any guy near me.
“I told you we shouldn’t have gone to Texas, just so you could see what a loser I actually was!”
“Hey, I wanted to see where my girl grew up,” he says, shrugging his shoulders.
I still can’t believe he convinced me to go all the way back to Texas with him for winter break this past year. He’s been asking to go since we moved in together my freshman year because he wanted to see where I came from. I never had any desire to go back and I still don’t understand what he wanted to see.
It’s not like I have any good memories from there. Just two pissed off people I left behind and that’s only because I took Chuck, not because they miss me. I like to think of taking Chuck as my way of sticking it to my dad without actually having to see him. Besides, Chuck’s happier here anyways, since he never has to scrounge for food with me.