Beautiful Broken Mess(103)

“Shh...it’s just me. Relax, gorgeous,” I whisper into her ear. When she hears my voice, I feel her body loosen and begin to respond to my touch. She doesn’t sleep as deeply as she used to, probably because I’m waking her up almost every night.#p#分页标题#e#

“Sorry, I fell asleep early,” she mumbles with a sleepy voice. I spread the oil around and slowly start massaging her muscles. With deep, long pushes, I rub out her tension and soreness.

I signed her up for a pretty intense self-defense class by one of my buddies who just got out of the Marines. He got all of his licenses and now runs a class. This isn’t some basic class run by an off-duty police officer. It’s extreme and tough. I wanted to go to the class with her but it slipped my mind, and I hate that she had to go alone.

“You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m sorry I’ve been working so much. I’m going to change that, I promise,” I say quietly. With the oil still thick on her back, she lifts up and looks at me questioningly. “I know you’re lonely, Audrey. I haven’t been taking care of you and I’m sorry.”

“Why are you saying this, Jace? What happened?” she asks, while nervously fidgeting her fingers. I unwind them slowly and run my hands up her arms, leaving a slick trail in their path. I can’t help but look at her bare chest on the way up to her eyes.

“I want you to move in with me. I want to live with you. I want to live where you’re going to be the happiest and if that’s not here, I’ll fix that,” I plead.

She looks at me with confusion for a few beats, and then says, “You’re scaring me. What do you mean ‘move in’? Haven’t I been living here with you?”

“Have you?” I ask. “Audrey, you haven’t unpacked your clothes and Quinn said you don’t touch anything in the house,” I say softly. Her body appears to deflate, and I can see her wheels begin spinning with what she should or should not say. If I could go a few rounds in the ring with myself right now, I would. How did I not notice this? I’m supposed to protect and care for her, not just provide for her. I promised to keep her first and in a way I thought I was by making sure she didn’t want for anything, but I didn’t take into account that most of all she just wants me. Not all this stuff I can buy her. Just me.

“Jace...” she sighs and looks up into my eyes. “I’m trying. I’m trying to beat these demons but...it’s a process. It took me a year to unpack my stuff when I moved in with Lane. You have to realize what my life was like. Before California, I had to hide all of my belongings in a backpack that I kept shoved under a couch. I’ve never felt like any place was actually mine. This house...” she pauses and seems to consider her next words carefully.

I finish for her by saying, “I made the plans for this house, and I had it filled with furniture before we moved in. I haven’t let you make it yours. I thought I was helping the transition process, but I never considered how that would affect you.”

“Jace, it’ll be okay. I love this house. It’s just going to take me some time to grow into it. I need you to know that I don’t want to be anywhere else than in your house with you,” she whispers.

“That’s the thing though, this is your house too, babe. Your name is on the deed right beside mine. I’ll make this right,” I assure her.

“I’ll try to unpack. That closet is just way too big though. Every time I open it, I’m intimidated. I yelled in it the other day and I could hear my own echo,” she says in an awed tone.

“Move into mine, with me. Once you actually start buying clothes like other girls do, you’ll probably fill yours up and take over mine anyway,” I chuckle.

She gasps and says, “I could never have that much.”

“And that’s why I love you so much,” I say, smiling at her innocence. I scoop her up into my arms and stride toward the bathroom. She squeals with laughter when my hands slip and slide from the oil that’s smeared across her body. When we reach the glass shower, I reach in and turn it to a warm temperature, just how she likes it. With my girl in my arms, I carry her inside the soothing spray.#p#分页标题#e#



Audrey –

Em, Quinn, Josie, and I had an early breakfast and nail appointment, so I snuck out of our bedroom without waking up Jace this morning. I can’t even remember the last time I woke up before he did. He’s usually out of the house before I even open my eyes every morning. He was sleeping so peacefully beside me, I didn’t have the heart to wake him up for a good-bye.