I cleared my throat and tried again. "I want you to tell me everything."
"I will, but first … " He took me by the hand and led me to my bedroom. My heart raced with every step we took, growing harsher the closer we came to my room.
Once we made it to the doorway, it seemed as though no breathable air remained in the entire house. The anticipation suffocated me, and I worried he'd misinterpret it as apprehension.
Nolan led me in and closed the door gently behind him. His eyes locked on mine, but it didn't prevent me from catching the way his chest heaved with every breath he took, mirroring my own desperate attempts at filling my lungs with oxygen. He held my hips and then slowly walked me backward until the backs of my knees hit the edge of the mattress. Although, he didn't push me to sit. Instead, he stood in front of me while his gaze traveled down the length of my body, leaving behind a trail of warmth, covering my skin in a blazing inferno.
The tips of his fingers skimmed over the front of my shirt from my lower abdomen to my collarbone, causing my nipples to harden beneath my bra. One slight touch from him elicited so many things deep inside me, all of which poured from me in the form of gooseflesh covering my body.
His fingers made their way up my neck to my face, barely touching my skin as his gaze met mine again. The way he stared at me caused a knot to form in my stomach, growing larger the longer he dragged this out. Not one sound was made between us as he stood in front of me, outlining my features with his fingertips as if sketching me to memory.
I thought he'd kiss me.
I thought he'd pick up the pace.
Yet he never did.
Instead, he began to undress me with steady, purposeful movements. Slowly. Acting as if we were in no hurry, had no time restraints. Time meant nothing to him as he carefully disrobed me one piece of clothing at a time, his eyes never leaving mine.
Once I stood completely naked in front of him, he placed his burning hands back on my hips and gently pushed me onto the mattress. Then he leaned into me-not to kiss me, but to force me back until I pulled my legs onto the bed and reclined by propping myself up on my elbows.
Nolan stood up straight between my legs-again, never taking his eyes off me-and began to undress himself. Once his shirt was removed, I sat forward and started to unfasten his belt. I thought he'd push me away, but he didn't. He laced his fingers through my hair as I dropped his pants to his ankles, and then I did the same with his boxer-briefs.
I licked my lips as his erection sprang free in front of me. However, before I could wrap my fingers around his shaft and swoop in to taste him, he used his grip in my hair to push me away.
None of this was familiar to me. Not with him or with anyone else. Considering the few times we'd been together sexually, his rejection caught me off guard. So I did the only thing I could. I leaned back on my elbows again, planted my heels onto the mattress, and spread my legs open on either side of him.
The rest was up to him.
I left the ball in his court.
I knew of his issues regarding intimacy, so I expected him to take charge as he had done before. I anticipated him flipping me over, forcing me onto my knees, and positioning my body so he could enter me where he stood.
But that's not what happened.
Instead of doing any of those things I'd predicted, he turned around and sat on the edge of the bed between my legs. The only thing I had to focus on was his broad back and the way his muscles flexed beneath his skin.
Shock prevented me from moving for a split second before I snapped out of it and pulled myself to him. If this was his moment of hesitation, I wanted to soothe and comfort him, offer him my support. However, I learned very quickly I had been wrong in my assumption.
Nolan bent forward to take off his shoes. And with my hands firmly on his biceps, he worked at removing his prosthetic. No matter how hard I tried to suppress my gasp, it didn't work. It rang out between us, bouncing off the walls and shrouding me with the audible disbelief that held me hostage.
With his leg off and the protective sock thrown to the floor, he twisted around to face me. He leaned into me with his hands pressed into the mattress on either side of my body, causing me to lie flat on my back.
Like a predator going after prey, he crawled over me, and with each move forward, I scooted back, closer to the head of the bed. Every time I shifted, he followed.
Silence filled the room.
The heat of his stare burned deeply into me.
The thrumming of my heart sped up to dangerous levels, and at the same time it threatened to stop altogether.
Nolan didn't just hover over me … he surrounded me, consumed me, possessed me. In that moment, there wasn't a single thing I wouldn't have done for him. It should've worried me, but it didn't. Nothing about him left me with any apprehension, any fear. I had nothing but complete trust in him, and a yearning to experience everything right along with him.
Everything.
Because I knew this was a huge step for him-for us. This was his way of proving to me he could move forward. That he had taken steps to regain his life again … possibly more than steps.
Leaps.
Bounds.
"Nolan … " I whispered, the warm air around us too much to take. My skin prickled and my mouth grew dry. I needed something to happen before the anticipation caused me to take matters into my own hands. And this was his moment-I couldn't take it from him.
"Shhh." His lips settled against my neck as his body pressed against mine, the heat from his chest driving into me. "I don't want to talk right now. The only thing I want to do is make love to you the way you deserve."
I sucked in a breath and held it.
He lifted his head and brushed my nose with the tip of his as his eyes captured mine. "I want to show you what you've done for me. You deserve to be loved this way, to be shown how much you're cherished. I want to be the man who can give that to you. I want to be the man who deserves you."
My fingertips grazed the skin on his back until my hands curled around his shoulders, holding him to me. "It's not about deserving me … it's about being made for me. It's about being right for me."
He dipped his hips, which slid his erection along my folds, sending a jolt of pleasure up my spine. My body reacted as if it was the first time I'd ever been stimulated. A moan slipped past my lips and my fingernails dug into his shoulder blades.
Thrust after thrust, the silky underside of his shaft abraded over my clit. When I couldn't take it anymore, I lifted my hips, hoping he'd finally give in and enter me. But he didn't. Instead, he held my lower body down with one hand and continued to assault my nerves until the familiar kindles of a fire burned deep in my stomach.
"Come apart for me, Novah. I want to see it. I need to see you come, hear you call out my name." His voice was desperate, airy, yet he didn't sound out of breath in the least.
I, on the other hand, couldn't seem to get enough air in my lungs as the prelude to my orgasm spiked and held me hostage.
A deep, desperate moan rumbled through me. At the sound of that, Nolan sped up, rocking against me. My eyes instantly closed, giving way to the white light exploding behind my lids.
I cried out his name. Before it finished falling from my lips, he pulled back and slammed into me, which jolted me and forced my eyes to open wide. I found his gaze locked on me, his forehead creased and his nostrils flaring.
His body stilled as soon as he was fully inside me, and that's when I noticed his shaky arms. I ran my fingers over his biceps, hoping to soothe whatever caused the trembling in his body.
"Touch me, Novah," he whispered with the tip of his nose grazing mine. "Everywhere. I want to feel your hands on me. I want your eyes on me."
I complied and toured his body blindly with my hands while my gaze remained fixated on his face. The need to say something became unbearable, yet coherent thoughts refused to form. So I said the only thing that automatically came to me. "I love you."
At my words, Nolan began to move inside me. His thrusts started off long and slow, deep and methodical. But the more I touched him, the more I picked up his rhythm, the faster and more erratic his hips rolled. We made love in tandem, working together, becoming one with every push, every pull, every sweep of our tongues against the other's.
With each thrust, his pubic bone pressed into my clit. I held onto him tightly with everything I had. My core gripped him, my arms wrapped around his neck, my legs locked around his waist. I couldn't seem to get him close enough, hug him tight enough to me.
The harder I gripped him, the more he seemed to lose control. His breaths fanned over my face in waves, covering me with heat that filtered through my entire body until it left me feeling like I'd been locked in an inferno.
"I love you," he whispered before burying his face into my neck. His fiery lips grazed the skin below my ear. "I love you so fucking much."