I had been innocent, naïve, young. And if I'd shown any weakness, it would have only made it worse.
So, needless to say, I had never allowed myself to go through the motions of relieving myself of the pent-up emotions. And after fifteen long years, the bubble of anger seemed to rush to the surface, leaving me a shaking, blubbering mess.
I felt horrible breaking down in front of Shari. She needed me to be there for her and help her mend her broken heart. It's the reason she came here-for me to take her mind off her failed relationship. She needed me to drink wine with her and watch men dying in battle while cuddling on the couch together. There wasn't enough room for me to obsess over something I had allowed to happen in the first place.
My part in the whole situation was one thing I had never admitted out loud-I'd been just as responsible as Nolan when I allowed him to take those pictures. When I'd let him strip me of my clothes. And when I gave him permission to bring me to bliss with his tongue. He never forced me to do those things. I knew he had taken the pictures, but being naïve, I thought I'd show up at school on Monday and find him waiting in the hallway to walk me to class.
The one thing I hadn't expected was discovering the pictures inside my locker, or the expressions on everyone's faces as they found the same prints in theirs.
"I'm sorry, Share. This was supposed to be your night to cry," I whispered as she wiped a tear from my cheek.
"Dude, I'm so over it. He's an ass and not worthy of my time or your tears. You need me now, and I'm here for you." She removed the laptop from my legs and pulled me into her side. Then she wrapped me up in a blanket until I fell asleep, dreaming of a time when a hazel-eyed boy told me how beautiful he thought I was.
And I'd stupidly believed him.
Two
"Come on, wake up," Shari shouted at me from no less than a foot away. It felt like only moments had passed since I'd closed my eyes. "You have a shoot today, and we need to get going."
My eyes fluttered open as I jumped up from the couch. I must have slept there all night because I still wore the same outfit from the day before-not to mention, I was in the living room instead of my bedroom. Once the fog of sleep began to wane, it hit me … it's Saturday. I didn't work on Saturdays. I didn't have a photo shoot.
I flopped back to the couch and tried to ignore the pounding in my skull from the wine the night before. "Shari, go back to sleep. We don't have work today," I mumbled with my face pressed into the soft cushion.
"I booked you an appointment last night. Actually four. You have two today and two tomorrow."
Her enthusiastic declaration caught my attention and I sat up again, waiting for the room to quit whirling before speaking. "Why? And who?"
"Why? Because it's a lot of money. Six thousand for the entire weekend. I charged a fee for last-minute booking, a fee for it being a weekend, and a fee for it being sight unseen."
I took in a deep, cleansing breath, trying to make sense of the fees she spouted off. "First of all, I don't work on the weekends. Ever. Secondly, we don't charge for last-minute bookings. And lastly, did you say sight unseen? What the hell does that even mean? And why are we charging extra for it?"
A smile lit her face and caused her midnight eyes to twinkle. "Well, this weekend we're working. And for this client, we'll charge any extra fees we want. I would have added on more if I thought I'd get away with it. I'm sure there's an asshole fee I could've used. And yes, I said sight unseen. We don't know what the models look like, nor what kind of poses or possible locations we will need."
"Asshole charge? Where did this client even come from?"
The look crossed her face. And by "the look," I mean the one she doles out when trying to hide something I won't be happy about. Without answering me, she grabbed my computer off the coffee table and set it in my lap.
Splashed in front of my face were emails sent back and forth between Nolan and me.
Except, I had been asleep. So they were technically between Nolan and Shari. I couldn't even look at her as I started to read the conversation before me.
Novah,
You say you can find the allure in anything. So I want to hire you.
I will send you four people, and I want you to find this so-called appeal you speak of in each one of them. I'll even pay extra for your time on this. I'm sure you're a very busy woman, and I'd like to have this done as quickly as possible.
Nolan
And then "my" reply:
Nolan,
I assure you, I can do exactly what you're asking. But it will cost you.
Novah J.
In his reply, he proposed times, which "I" agreed to, and then "I" set the price and he agreed to it. I saw red, furious with my best friend for orchestrating this debacle behind my back.
"I don't want his money. I don't want anything to do with him." My anger burned so bright, I worried I'd start to cry. "Why would you do this, Shari? I can't believe this. Last night you were all about telling him off, and now? Now, you're having me take his money and do this for him? Why?"
She sat next to me and placed her steady hand over my shaky one. "I don't do well with challenges. When he suggested you wouldn't be able to do what you're so great at, I couldn't say no. You know me." She gave me another one of her famous looks-one eyebrow arched, lips quirked to the side, and big, rapidly blinking eyes. "Plus, I figured this will prove to him once and for all you haven't let him bring you down."
I shook my head, ready to have her call it off, but then she spoke again.
"Novah, listen to me. I held you last night while you cried yourself to sleep. You can tell yourself all you want that what he did to you hasn't altered you somehow, but it has. And it goes beyond the humiliation you suffered all those years ago. I think it still haunts you. This is nothing more than your chance to show how much better you are than he is. Kind of like a giant fuck you!"
I was furious at her for taking charge of my life this way, and I hoped she could hear the menacing tone in my voice when I said, "I disagree with this entire situation wholeheartedly. I want that to be known in case this comes back to bite us in the ass. But it's too late to turn back now without tarnishing my reputation. Just remember this: you're on my shit list for a very long time. I'm really upset with you right now."
"Fine. Be upset with me. I don't care. You will look back on this and realize I was right. You need to do this for yourself. Don't look at it as taking anything monetary from him. Look at it as a challenge, and you're always great with those. I've never seen one you haven't conquered."
"Who do you think he's sending to me? It's evident he thinks these people are hideous, so what should I be expecting?" I asked as I threw on some clothes, getting ready to head to the studio.
"Knowing him, probably a homeless person. Or someone really fat or missing all their teeth."
A smile spread across my face, causing my cheeks to ache as I grabbed my car keys. Honestly, no matter who he decided to send, I would be fine with it. I knew I'd succeed. In college, I had taken several award-winning photos of the homeless in downtown Tampa. Since then, I'd been hired to shoot several spreads for plus-sized models. Shari was right. This would be a challenge I knew I couldn't fail at. Anything Nolan Richards found appalling would be something I'd find beautiful.
We made it to the studio with fifteen minutes to spare, and I rushed to set something up. Not knowing who my subject would be-or even what gender-made it difficult to adequately prepare sets. I had never had a mystery shoot such as this, but I could at least get my cameras ready and make sure the batteries were fully charged.
"I think I heard someone." Shari came into the room. "Want me to go greet ‘em?"
Shaking my head, I said, "No. I'll do it. I need to see what it is I'll be working with to mentally prepare myself."
I walked from the studio and into the waiting room out front. A small-framed woman wearing an oversized coat sat in one of the chairs. I found the jacket odd since we were in the middle of summer in Florida. She had to be dying from the heat. Her hair seemed clean but pulled back into a messy ponytail. Nothing obviously "hideous" about her, unless Nolan found average looking to mean ugly. Which wouldn't surprise me in the least.
"Hi, you must be here for your-" My words died on my lips as soon as she turned to face me. Angry, red burn scars covered the left side of her face. With her hair pulled back, I could see her ear had been missing as well. And as she blinked, I noticed her left eye wouldn't fully close. What the hell did Shari get me into? "Um … You must be here for your appointment." I hoped she hadn't caught the fumble, or the horrified expression I'm sure I had displayed before catching myself.