"What do you do now? I mean, I know you have a security company, but what do you do?"
"I provide retail stores with loss prevention officers. My guys catch shoplifters. Most of the time, I'm in the office running the administrative side, but I also fill in where I'm needed."
"Do you at least like what you do?"
I shrugged, even though she couldn't really see. "Yeah, I guess. I don't hate it. Is it something I'm passionate about? Not really. But it's my own company, and I like that. I like the control it provides."
"Why do you need the control?"
"All my life I never had any. Now I do." I glanced beyond her to the windshield, noticing the absence of raindrops. "It's dark, and we're in a junkyard. I think we should probably head out."
After opening up to her so much, telling her things I never meant to, I was depleted of energy. I felt worn out and mentally exhausted. But at the same time, her presence somewhat energized me, led me to believe having her in my life could be a good thing.
As we walked back to our cars, her closeness offered me an unfamiliar sense of security. For the first time in fifteen years, I didn't see myself as a broken piece of worthless junk. Novah made me feel wanted, desired … like I was worth something to someone. And I knew right then and there I had to see her again.
Nine
In the last two days, I'd seen Novah once-for five minutes. Aside from her one brief visit, I'd been left with nothing but my thoughts of her and a few text messages. I became concerned I'd scared her off, that my openness had been too much for her to handle, but her text messages were kind and heartfelt-even if they were short.
Thursday had been the hardest. I was needed for a shift at a local grocery store to fill in for a sick employee. Keeping an eye out for shoplifters while pretending to be just another customer in the store isn't really a difficult job. It doesn't require much other than staying incognito. However, it's not so easy when you're stuck in a constant daydream about a gorgeous blonde with eyes the color of the Caribbean waters. Somehow, I'd managed to make it through the day and even caught a few lowlifes trying to walk out with product in their pockets.
Shortly after lunch on Friday, Novah dropped by my office unannounced. Surprised wouldn't begin to explain my reaction to seeing her. It was as if my thoughts had conjured her up in the flesh, and had brought her to me.
"Do you trust me?" she asked after she sat down in the chair across from me at my desk.
The ability to form a response evaded me, my thoughts too tied up with her presence. I could tell she'd come from work considering her hair was curled and she had makeup on. She also wore dressy pants and a nice top. It'd be a lie if I said she wasn't unbelievably gorgeous, but I still preferred to see her dressed down.
"Oh, that was a stupid question. Of course I can't ask you to trust me so soon. I'm sorry. Forget I even said anything."
She leaned forward, as if bracing herself to stand, but I stopped her before she could rise to her feet. Sure, trust is something earned and should never be handed out like candy. However, Novah wasn't some stranger to me.
We'd only "known" each other for a few months in school before I had to leave, and even then, we'd never spoken until the end, but it never mattered. For whatever reason, our one brief encounter was enough to stick with me for so many years. Everything about her-from what I'd known of her-followed me everywhere: overseas, into battle, throughout recovery.
Trusting her wasn't a choice … it'd been something so engrained in me I'd lose if I ever tried to fight it.
"Wait, Novah. Please tell me what you came here for. You obviously had a reason to come here. Don't just give up and leave."
She relaxed in her chair but began to twiddle her fingers, keeping her attention in her lap and looking every bit as nervous as I felt. "Well, I was going to ask if I might be able to borrow your house key. Our dinner the other night was ruined, and I wanted to do something nice for you. I figured since it's the weekend, we won't have to worry about calling it an early night. But I understand if it's too much too soon to let me into your home without you being there."
I didn't need a second to think about it. If she'd asked me to give her a kidney, I'd use my letter opener right then and there to retrieve it for her. There wasn't anything I wouldn't give her, and I couldn't comprehend why. The only thing I could come up with was how she'd offered me peace when I had needed it the most, and for that, I'd give her everything.
Keeping my gaze locked on her reserved posture, desperately craving to see her eyes, I dug around in my pocket for my key ring. I then blindly pulled my car and office key off before holding the rest out for her on my opened palm.
Her eyes grew large as she studied the ring of keys in my outstretched hand. Confusion lit her face and arched her eyebrows, her lips slightly parted as her chest rose and fell heavily with each dramatic breath she took. If I listened closely, I'm sure I could've heard the heavy beats of her heart, matching my own.
"Here, take them. I'm leaving here at five, and it takes me about twenty minutes to get home. You'll be there, right? Or should I wait for you?"
She reached for the keys. Her hands slightly shook as her sight lifted to my eyes. "Yeah, uh … I'm actually done for the day, so I'll head up to the store and then go straight to your place. As long as you're sure you're okay with it … "
"I wouldn't give you my keys if I wasn't. But I have to admit, it feels wrong allowing you to do this for me. I'm the one who ruined dinner the other night-shouldn't I be the one making it up to you?"
"No. I want to do this for you."
I blew a slow exhale through my tight lips and nodded, conceding to her wishes. And then I spent the rest of the afternoon watching the clock, convinced time had stood still-or gone backward.
At a quarter to five, I closed my computer down and locked up my office. I'd told her I would leave at five, so to make up the difference in time, I decided to stop by a store to pick up some flowers and a bottle of wine. Knowing her, she would probably have wine there, but after ruining the last bottle she'd brought over, I wanted to offer some sort of gesture to make up for it.
Since I'd given Novah the elevator key, I had to wait for the guard to let me up, which only took about three minutes, but knowing what awaited me upstairs, it seemed more like three hours.
With every step down the long corridor to my door, profound, unrelenting beats of my heart echoed in my ears. And once I stood with my hand on the doorknob, I had to take a moment to catch my breath. My erratic breathing made it seem like I'd run up the stairs instead of riding in the elevator, and my head whirled like I'd just gotten off one of those zero-gravity rides at a carnival. That's what Novah had done to me. Ever since high school, the mere thought of her could send my entire existence into a tailspin. It made me feel like I'd been untethered from my body and left to float away.
But nothing could've prepared me for what I walked in on once I opened the door. A rich, herbal aroma filtered into the hallway, forcing my stomach to rumble and reminded me of the lunch I'd skipped. Soft notes of a piano drifted over me as music played in the background.
I anxiously stepped inside and closed the door behind me. Setting the wine and flowers down on a table next to the front door, I took a few more steps, taking everything in.
Photos of all sizes hung on the walls, lining them from the kitchen into the bare living room. Except the living room wasn't so bare anymore. A large, woven rug sat in the center of the room beneath a coffee table I'd never seen before. I stood still, unable to move as I glanced around the room. My gaze skimmed from one thing to the next before my attention abruptly halted on one of the photos hanging on the small wall between the living room and entryway. It was a picture Novah had taken on her phone at the junkyard two days before. I glanced around at the others, noticing they were all from the same night.
"I hope you like it." Her voice came from behind me, but it didn't keep me from examining the art in front of me.
"You … redecorated my house?" I slowly turned around, taking in everything around me until I came face to face with her. Annoyance filled me, but it quickly dissipated once I caught the hesitation in her soft eyes and slouched shoulders.
"Just hear me out, please."
She held her hands up, silently requesting a moment to explain, but all I saw was a scared woman, and it nearly brought me to my knees. I never intentionally wanted to frighten her. I never wanted to see fear in her eyes or make her worried to tell me anything. To ease the tension surrounding us like a heavy fog at the top of a mountain, I pressed my palms to hers, lacing our fingers together until she inhaled deeply and visibly relaxed.