Until the very last day.
Only one entry was penned on that day. Haunting last words.
They got to her too.
She can feel the device inside of her.
And it has to come out.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
MY EXPLORATION of the West Wing is a measured task. It is done slowly, day after day. I don't want to arouse Javi's suspicions, and there is only a limited window of time that I feel confident in my routine.
He continues to avoid me, for reasons I don't know. But if the past is any indication that could turn on a dime.
I question if he's even capable of feeling guilt for the things he's done. And then I wonder if he has tired of me. It shouldn't matter to me. I should be relieved. But instead, I am lonely. More isolated with every passing day. And I am hesitant to acknowledge that I miss his company. His warmth... and on the rare occasion he offers it, his affection.
Today, I pass by the remaining bedrooms in the West Wing. They are empty. Nothing to see. But I do find the surgery room again. And the tapes again. There are piles beside the projector.
I don't think I can stomach to watch any more of them. So I dig through the cupboards instead. Checking the labels and seeking out anything else that I might have missed before.
There are too many bottles to count. More surgical tools than most operating theaters probably have. Additional journals with irrational entries.
And one odd looking key.
At first, I dismiss it. Until I realize that it could be important. The lock on the door to this room is broken, and the key doesn't fit. There is no window, so I go to another room and try the door and window there.
Still no luck.
I stare at it for a long while, trying to figure out what it could be for. As much as I want to believe it, it wouldn't make sense for Javi to have a key of importance haplessly lying around like this. He is too careful for that. Even if he forbade me from coming into this wing, he had to know I might still try. So I go back to the surgery room and poke around the cabinets for a clue. They are all unlocked. But they aren't attached to the wall. It is simply a standing row of shelves. Shelves that might have something behind them.
It's a long shot. And probably too risky to be moving furniture. Can Javi hear me in this part of the house? It feels so far away from his office.
I'm not certain.
Until I think of the bird again. And I realize that I am choosing safety over freedom. That if I really want to know the answers to my questions, I need to figure out what this key is for.
I test the cabinets by wiggling them with my hand. They are old. Rickety. But they aren't as heavy as I thought.
I start out small. Sliding them just an inch forward.
Pausing.
Waiting.
Holding my breath.
Javi does not come. So after a minute, I move it another inch. And then another. And after I've cleared about half a foot, I can see it.
The square shaped door in the wall. A built-in cupboard. With a lock. My heart beats faster.Louder. I move the cabinets again, not stopping this time until I can reach the lock. My arm almost gets stuck in my panic to test out the key. But with a twist, I hit gold.
The lock turns. The door opens. And my shoulders fall when I see the contents.
Tapes.
They are simply more tapes. But why are they in here? Hidden away. It doesn't make sense.
Down the hall, a door slams and jolts me from my thoughts. He's coming. He must know, and he's coming.
Gathering the tapes into my arms, I shove them into my pockets. I lock the door and slide the cupboards back into place. Footsteps echo down the hall, and I know I am caught.
He will be here any moment. And there is only one thing for me to do. I climb back down into the underground tunnel and run. Testing each latch that I come to with a sliver of light above.
I pass up five before I find one that is unlocked. Oddly enough, it is the same one I escaped into before.In the conservatory. I swore Javi locked it again. But it doesn't matter. He's looking for me. And I need to hide these tapes and find a way to avoid his wrath.
I dart into the one place in this room where I know he doesn't have cameras and shove the tapes into a makeup case before securing them in the drawer.
There is a loud crash from somewhere on the opposite side of the house. I don't know what to do now. How to explain my absence, or if he knows. I creep back towards my room but stop when I pass the piano room.
The piano.
I haven't played since those early first weeks. I haven't wanted to play since long before I left Luke when he tried to turn me into a pop princess. But Javi asked me to play. He wanted to hear me play.
And I can only hope that it will calm him now.
I sit down on the bench and take a deep breath, closing my eyes as my fingers hover over the keys. Feeling them. Reacquainting myself with them.
I don't open my eyes. But I play. The song that I had stuck in my head for so long, but was afraid to give voice to.
It's rough at first. I have always done better thinking of the lyrics as I go along. Finding the right notes. I play it over and over again until I feel like I have it right.
Everything else slips away. I forget why I came here as I get lost in the music. Nothing else matters at this moment. Not until I open my eyes and see him standing there. Watching me. Enrapt. Suspicious. I stop, and our eyes lock.
"Keep playing," he says.
I keep playing.
Javi doesn't say another word. He just listens. Watches. Waits until the song is over.
And then he leaves again.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
I HAVE UNDERESTIMATED LUKE. Underestimated his level of obsession, and also his reach.
He has hired a team of private investigators. He is relentless in his pursuit of my Bella. He is sniffing around too much. Making too much noise. Her face is plastered over every major news outlet.
Pop princess gone missing?
Rumors of nervous breakdowns abound. Fans theorizing a possible connection to her father's disappearance. Questions. Questions that I can't have. The agency can't know she is with me. And so it is time for me to quash the problem.
River arrives at seven, two hours later than he said he would. We give each other a brief nod, and then he asks me where the girl is.
If there is anyone I trust, it's River. We were in the sanitarium together as children. I did not speak, and he spoke too much. And as luck would have it, he ended up being my roommate.
He was annoying. Psychotic. But mellow, most of the time. And mellow was what I needed. When I wouldn't speak to him, he started writing me notes. In code. My brain liked the challenge. It took me a week to figure it out. He was smart, like me. So we wrote to each other. In code.
I didn't tell him my secrets, and he didn't tell me his. We just talked. About stupid things. But it was nice to talk about stupid things. When everyone else looked at me like I was the worst of humanity. Like I was a monster.River never did.
He was my first friend. My only friend. And he is the only person I would trust to look after my Bella.
I have no need to call her out of her room. When she hears the door close, she comes on her own. Her face flashes with surprise and then fear when she sees that we have a visitor. The same visitor I tricked her with before.
River smiles at her, juggling an apple between his palms.
"Hello, Isabella."
"You know my name?" she asks.
Her eyes flicker to me, and she bites her lip. She wants him to be someone other than who he really is. A knight come to save her.
She wants to tell him about her monster. How I am keeping her here against her will. About the dirty things I do to her, but not how much she really loves them. The things he has already seen with his own eyes.
"Of course I do," he answers. "My friend Javi here has told me so much about you."
My cheeks heat, and I want to tell her that's a lie. I've told River very little about her. But he is nosy. And this is his way of getting information. I have no doubt he will ask her plenty when I'm gone, while she tries to persuade him to set her free.
"I'm leaving," I announce.
Both of them look at me. River takes a bite of his apple, and Bella's eyes grow wide.
Afraid.
River is watching me carefully as I go to her, but I do not care. I touch her cheek. It has been so long since I've allowed myself to touch her. To feel her. To breathe her in.
I want her. I want her to let me have her.
"You are mine, Bella," I assure her. "Only mine."
It is the right thing to say. Her shoulders relax, and she leans into my touch. It surprises me.
River smirks. I don't care.
"Where are you going?" Bella asks.
"I have some business to take care of."
She doesn't know about Luke. She doesn't know about the trouble he has gone to in order to find her. She also doesn't know that I've been looking for her father myself. And that Luke isn't the only matter I am leaving for today.