She walked to the chair and slumped down in it. She picked up one of the romance novels she’d been reading previously and leafed through it.
Book romance was a little unsatisfying after being so close to the real thing. She bit her lip and closed the book, setting it on her lap. Then her eye locked onto something outside, and she sat up a little, staring out.
There was an unfamiliar car parked on the other side of the road. The windows were tinted so she couldn’t see inside. A shudder of fear went through her, and she remembered the phone message. She stood to look out the window. Scott’s truck was gone. Supposedly, he’d gone home with his tail between his legs.
She was proud of herself for standing up to him. She could remember a Janna who wouldn’t have. Who would have begged him to come back. But she knew she was worth more now. Ryder had made her feel that way.
But then he’d run. But that didn’t change the things he’d said or the way he’d only had eyes for her or the way he made her melt in his arms.
Her brain searched for something that would make everything fit, but she could sense that whatever it was, the answer was just beyond the realm of her comprehension.
So she continued to watch the SUV, letting the fear keep her awake. She’d known the person who left that message wasn’t Scott. It just didn’t fit him.
She checked the clock over the mantle. Midnight. Still too late to call Leslie or Kylie, but she hated being alone. Any of her other friends she’d made in the town had kids and couldn’t be woken.
Maybe it was time to get a cat.
Or go crawling back to Ryder, willing to accept he was a fraidy-cat who liked to run away from bears.
But she knew that was probably just the tiredness talking. She decided nothing was happening in the SUV that she should worry about. Nothing she could do either way. Someone was probably just visiting family. She stood, checked the deadbolt, turned off the lights, and headed upstairs.
She turned on her bedroom light and slowly changed, taking clothes off her aching body. Both the adrenaline of the bear attack and the ardent love Ryder had made to her had tired her out.
But she knew which she preferred. She thought of his large hands smoothing over her body, heating her skin as he whispered sweet words. She changed into soft pajamas and lay there for a few minutes, touching her own skin and wishing it felt like it did when Ryder touched her.
Why couldn’t she stop thinking of him, even when he’d proven her worst fears to be true?
She guessed, as with Scott, it would take time. But she had the feeling it would take a lot longer with Ryder than it did with Scott.
There were moments with Ryder she was sure she would always remember.
On that thought, and a few others about their time together, she fell into weary sleep.
15
When she woke, everything seemed clearer. The sun streaming through the icy patterns on the window lit up the room and cast light over the bed. She pushed hair out of her eyes and let out a long sigh. She stood, pulled on a robe, and walked to the window to look down. The SUV was still there, but nothing out of place seemed to have happened.
She checked her phone. No messages.
Did she want Ryder to call? She didn’t know. She’d told him she needed to cool off. Was that true?
She put a hand to her head. She already felt better this morning. Ready to talk, ready to forgive. But then the shock, the fear of being left alone all came rushing back. And he’d done it right after she’d told him how much Scott had hurt her. Right after he’d promised not to abandon her.
Maybe that’s why he’d said it was the worst possible time. Because he knew showing his cowardly side at that moment would ruin things.
But that just didn’t seem like the Ryder she knew. She walked down into the kitchen and turned on the coffee maker. She’d need about a gallon to feel conscious after the night she’d had. Maybe she’d let Sherry run the store this week anyway. Take a much-needed vacation. She’d bet Leslie would be up for traveling somewhere fun, and Kylie too if she didn’t sub any other days this week.
But Ryder…
She couldn’t stop thinking of him. Of how incredible the night had been before it’d gone bad. Of him asking her to spend her life with him. Him saying he loved her. But how was that possible with what came after?
A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. Ryder? She ran to the door to open it, knowing it was foolish how quickly her heart leapt at the thought of seeing him but eager to work things out between them.
There had to be a way to explain it. There just had to. Part of being rational was knowing when something didn’t add up and the only rational thing to do is look into it until it does.