And perhaps, with how cruel life had been to her at times, she simply didn’t want to overthink things when life was actually good. It felt fair that life would be good for once. That’s why it was so awful when things with Scott went bad.
But it did leave her here, away from her family, where she could grow as a person and meet people like Ryder. And Leslie and Kylie. She wondered if her friends were trying to figure out how to get into the parties at the lodge. Maybe she should mention something to get them an in next time she saw Ryder’s brothers.
Not that she knew when that would be. He tended to be tense and a little cagey when it came to talking about other men, as if he were jealous but knew he had no right to be this early in the game. But to be honest, it made her feel safe. Protected. She knew that someone who was his would never worry about being treasured. And she was strong enough to stand up for herself if someone were acting controlling.
After all, she hadn’t hesitated to laugh in his face when he’d tried it before. Caveman dominance was fun in the bedroom, but out of it, she was a grown woman and expected to be treated like one.
“Where have you gone in your mind?” Ryder’s voice cut into her thoughts. “Don’t get me wrong. I kind of love that about you already. But I find myself wishing I could go with you.”
She flushed with warmth. That was one of the nicest things anyone had said to her. Not telling her to come back or chiding her for not paying attention or telling her not to zone out. Just wishing he could go with her.
She tried to keep her heart from melting on the spot. “Just thinking about family. And life. And you know, the things that get you where you are.”
“Tell me about it,” he said. “I was dreading this trip and the memories it would bring. And then I laid eyes on you and knew everything happens for a reason.”
“How can you be so sure? You barely know me.”
“You keep saying that, and I keep trying to answer it. I can’t explain it other than to say I don’t do this with everyone. Anyone even. Just you. You’re special.”
She poked the remains of her dinner around with her fork. “It’s not that I don’t want to believe you. It’s just hard to.”
“I know. That’s why we’ve got a week,” he said, finishing his dinner. When she nodded at him, he took both plates and put them in the sink and started running water.
“You wash dishes too?” she asked.
“Yup,” he said with a grin. “Fully housebroken.”
“Nice,” she said. “Definitely points in your favor.”
He gave her a slightly predatory grin that was playful nonetheless. “I’ll make sure to redeem them later.”
The mood changed, and he seemed aware he’d done it. “Well, I’ll redeem them by letting you cook for me.”
She tried not to be disappointed. What could she say, that she’d hoped they could be redeemed in somewhat… sexier ways? She’d sound stupid being the only one thinking that. He was determined to behave himself. Why couldn’t she do the same?
Except, they were both consenting adults. Why couldn’t they have a little fun? Well, for the sake of the slight soreness between her legs, she’d follow her logical side and let things cool off for tonight. But she couldn’t help feeling a little snuggly, with her stomach full and the cabin so warm and an hour of great conversation with a good-looking man.
Ryder wouldn’t let her finish the dishes, so she turned on the big-screen in the living room and watched reality TV while she waited.
When he came and sat down next to her, the air heated a couple degrees. He was just so damn big she wanted to just cuddle back against him. She’d fit right against that wide chest.
Luckily, he seemed to have the same idea because he pulled her close and wrapped an arm around her waist. She squirmed because the odd angle wasn’t comfortable with the Spanx. He ran a hand along her middle and then frowned.
“You should go take those off. You deserve to be comfortable. Also, let it be known that from here on out, whatever that thing is hiding, I would rather see.”
She frowned, not liking being told what to do, but when he pulled away from her, waiting for her to change, she sighed and gave in. It wasn’t like she wanted to stay uncomfortable. But there was a still a part of her that felt she had to strap herself in or minimize her fat to be loved. She was one half loving her body and one half afraid that anyone else hating it could break her fragile self-esteem.
She stood and went into the bedroom to change. She decided she might as well put him to the full test of how comfortable he liked her, so she changed into comfy, loose black workout pants that flattered her rear and a soft hooded sweatshirt in a flattering shade of pink.