Beard Up(39)

"The scar," she whispered, eyeing my chest.

I nodded. "The scar."

"They saved you."

I nodded. "They saved me … but only so I could live to kill for them. Be their puppet."

She sucked in a breath. "What'd they make you do?"

"That first seven months I was little more than a bunny. I couldn't do a damn thing because I was learning how to breathe again."

She waited.

"The first job they sent me out on, they wanted to test my loyalty to their cause."

Her eyes closed, and she sat down on the toilet as she waited for me to say it.

"They wanted me to assassinate Silas."

Her eyes snapped open.

"You tried."

I nodded.

"I was there, waiting to do it, with a man standing over me ready to blow my brains out if I didn't connect." 

My eyes lost focus as I remembered that day in such vivid clarity that it almost hurt to think about.

I'd seen him, through the scope of my rifle. I'd watched him reach into his pocket, look at his phone, and smile, my finger caressing the trigger.

"And … "

"And I couldn't do it. That man, he'd done so much for me. I couldn't do it." I closed my eyes. "I didn't have you. I didn't have Sienna. I didn't care."

"You didn't shoot."

I shook my head. "I shot, all right. But I didn't hit him. I wanted Silas to know that someone was there. That someone was going to try to kill him." I stopped. "The man at my back was charged with taking care of me, as well as taking care of Silas if I failed to do so."

"How are you still alive then?" she asked, staring at the floor in horror.

"Because Stone was there," I murmured.

"Stone?"

"Stone," I said. "The president of our club that died some months ago. The police officer. He was there. Walking in the woods, doing shit that men do in the woods. He'd just come up behind me when I took the shot."

"He saved you."

I nodded. "He did. And almost killed me at the same time."

"So you went to this chapter, and left me alone."

I swallowed. "Essentially, yes."

"Essentially," she said. "Why am I still alive, then? Why am I still here?"

"Silas and Lynn," I answered immediately. "After finally realizing it was me, Silas called Lynn. Lynn divulged that he was already looking into my family at that time, and I vowed to help him do anything he wanted."

"And that man that Stone killed?" she asked.

"Dumped his body in the lake that Silas was visiting," I answered honestly. "Also found a body that resembled mine from a morgue. Shot it in the head, and then left it in the woods. When they came investigating a few days later when they realized that Silas was alive and well, they found the body."

"They thought it was you."

I nodded.

She breathed out.

"Why has finding evidence on your parents taken so long?" she whispered into the hands.

I walked toward her and dropped down to my knees in front of her.

Then dropped a kiss to her hair before wrapping her into a hug, reveling in the way that she felt in my arms.

"Because what they do, they're good at," I admitted. "They're really good at hiding their tracks. Hell, there are only a few people who know that they're such bad people. You'd never assume that they are who they are unless you caught them doing something-which most don't unless they're as bad as them."

"How did you find out your parents were that bad?" she asked.

"I knew from a young age that they weren't good," I said. "But it wasn't until I'd just come off my probationary period at the Benton PD, that they finally saw the value in having a cop-their son-as a member of their team." I looked away. "I never told you, but they tried everything in their power to get me to do what they wanted, and not one of those things worked until they threatened Sienna and you."

"And I would've never known you were here if I hadn't been so stupid," she breathed, finally lifting her head to allow me to see her face. "I don't know whether to laugh or cry."


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I stared at her intently. "I wouldn't have left you alone."

Her eyes went wide.

"I was holding on," I admitted. "I tried so hard to let you live your life, and every time it looked like you were moving on too far, I sabotaged whatever you had planned," I hesitated. "It was what got me into trouble in the first place."