Mina had never been on birth control. Not once in her entire twenty-six years. Not because she was religious, and didn't take it, but because we'd always been willing to have babies, and when we weren't, I used condoms. But I hadn't carried a condom with me in a very long time, because I hadn't had need for one.
///
And now, looking down at her with pleasure written all over her face, I knew it wouldn't be a good time.
Her getting pregnant would be very bad, not because we didn't want a child, but because that would just be one more thing that my parents could use to hold over me to get me to do their bidding if they ever found out that I was still alive.
Something which was likely already a done deal since Josh knew, by now, that we'd taken Mina and wouldn't be returning her.
I rolled over and pulled her to my side, uncaring that we were getting our clothes filthy with dirt and other things, and instead decided to live in the now.
In an hour, I would deal with the fallout.
Right now, my life was curled into my arms, and I couldn't find it in me to think of anything else.
Chapter 17
Life hadn't given me lemons to make lemonade. It's given me anger issues, a love for pizza and a need for retribution.
-Ghost's secret thoughts
Ghost
"I need your promise, Tunnel."
I trailed the tips of my fingers up the line of her naked spine, her hair was tangled around my shoulder and neck, ticking me back.
"Anything," I told her.
She sighed.
"Don't leave me again."
I closed my eyes.
That was the one promise that I couldn't keep.
"If I can help it, I won't," I offered the only thing I had to give.
She knew instantly what I meant and brushed her lips against my shoulder.
"It hurts," Mina whispered a long time later, her hand playing absently along the rough scarring that spanned my chest.
I knew she was talking about my burns, but there was an undertone there that said she wasn't just talking about that.
"Sometimes it has to hurt, baby," I told Mina. "That's when you know you're alive."
"I don't like that," she said. "I know you wouldn't have left me if … " She trailed off. "What do you do, Tunnel?" She looked at me fiercely.
"I hunt the evil that people pretend doesn't exist," I answered almost immediately, not one to lie to the woman that held my heart. "If you really want to know, then Mina, I'll tell you every single sordid detail. But if you're just curious what I do now that I'm not who I was, and don't really want to know it in all of its entirety, then just be happy with that first answer." I licked my lips. "I told you no more lies, and I meant that. If you want to know if I killed a man this morning, then I'll answer you honestly. But if you don't, then I'll stay quiet. Just be sure you can handle everything that is me now."
She stared into my eyes.
"Did you kill a man this morning?" she asked warily.
I could tell she really wanted to know the answer, so I didn't bother evading the truth.
"Yes," I answered. "He was a sex offender, and raped his daughter."
Her eyes closed.
"I worked that yesterday," she answered. "And I can't say that I'm upset that you did what should've been done."
Relief flooded through me.
"I love you, Minnie," I told her. "I've missed this."
"Missed what?" Her eyes started to fill with tears. "Because there are things that I missed, but I had no clue how much until I saw you. It's almost debilitating."
I closed my eyes and pulled her into my chest.
"I missed finding your hair on my shirts," I told her, twisting one of the brown locks between my fingers. "I missed you sleeping next to me and stealing my covers. I missed you bugging me about dinner and what you were and were not willing to cook. I missed you staring at me until I paid attention to you." I dropped a kiss to her nose. "I missed the way you smelled, and the way you brushed your hair. I missed the way you took long showers and left me all the lukewarm water that our poor water heater could muster. I missed the way you scattered your makeup all over the counter, and the way you left your toothpaste in the sink." I halted. "But what I missed most of all was the way your shampoo used to scent my pillow. The way you looked holding our daughter. And the way you felt in my arms."
She was crying, but I couldn't find it in me to brush away her tears.
"I missed the way you left your trash everywhere," she lied. "I missed the way I'd find bullets in the washing machine, and the way you always seemed to lose your wallet no matter what extravagant means I went to in order to get you to put it in the same spot. There is so much more that I missed, but you're right. Being in your arms makes me feel like I can breathe again."