The drive took almost three hours, and Xander chatted the whole time. He seemed to be keen to get Rocco to open up about his recent disappearance, and to find out whether he was likely to fight again in the future, and Rocco was equally keen not to discuss either topic. His thoughts were all on seeing Harper again, on trying to anticipate how she'd react to him. After a while, Xander started a monologue about the clan's accounts and Rocco zoned out. As he did, an idea occurred to him: maybe she's got over her anger by now. Maybe that's why she's agreed to mate me, he thought. After all, five years is a long time, and we were kids back then. A spark of hope lifted his mood, and his bear sat up, its ears pricking. His bear, of course, was looking forward to seeing her, and he found himself wondering how she'd changed and matured since the last time they'd met.
As he pulled into Pine Bluff territory, his anticipation grew and grew, and by the time they climbed out of the truck, he couldn't wait to lay eyes on her.
4
Harper stood in front of her bedroom mirror, surveying her reflection. She wanted to look presentable, but not like she'd made a huge effort. She'd had no real choice about this mating, and while she didn't want her parents to feel bad about it, she wanted to send Rocco the very clear message that she didn't welcome it. Rocco. Every time his name, or his image popped into her head, something tightened deep in her core. How it was possible to still be so mad at him after so long, she didn't know. But she was mad. More than mad, because it was the anger that came from deep hurt.
She looked okay, she concluded. She'd left her long dark hair down, and brushed it straight so it skimmed her shoulder blades, and she'd put mascara on the long lashes that framed her slanting green eyes, but she wore no other make up. She was wearing a simple, gray shift dress, black pantyhose and black, low-heeled ankle boots. Being a statuesque bear shifter, she rarely felt the need to wear heels.
The front door knocker sounded with three sharp raps, and her chest tightened. Everything in her revolted so strongly from the thought of seeing Rocco that she felt physically sick. She frowned at her reflection in annoyance. There's nothing to be nervous about, she reminded herself. I'm doing this for the right reasons. For the clan. However much I might not like it.
Switching her bedroom light off, she strode along the hallway and down the stairs on heavy legs.
Hearing voices out on the veranda, she walked through the house and out the back door. People were gathered at the far corner of the veranda. And when she caught sight of a very familiar shock of dark hair and the silhouette of a powerful, agile body, she stopped dead, her heart in her throat. I can't do this. I can't see him and speak to him like everything's normal. Her breath came quick and shallow and her legs seemed to be incapable of moving forward. As she took a stumbling step, he turned his head away from the conversation and looked at her. Those eyes that she knew so well bored into hers.
"Harper?" he called in his deep, husky voice, which seemed to be reaching right out of their past.
As if in a dream, she walked toward him. He smiled, that same lazy, cool smile that she knew so well, the right corner of his lips curling up more than the left, and his head tipping slightly to the side, and he leaned forward to kiss her on the cheek.
"Hello, Rocco," she said crisply and stuck out her hand. His forehead furrowed in confusion, but after a beat, he held out his hand too. She tried her best to ignore the sensation of that big, warm hand enveloping hers as she looked at him levelly. She noted his eyes widening in surprise, and the slight dilation of his pupils as his gaze flickered over her features. God, he's handsome. She'd been hoping that adulthood had taken the glow from his looks, but it had had the opposite effect. His eyes were more incredible than ever – blue-green and piercing. They'd lost some of their childish playfulness and gained the intensity of a full-grown bear. His lips were full and soft and his teeth perfect, while his jaw and cheekbones had broadened. His hair was almost as long as it'd been back in the day, and it still suited him. He looked like one of those olden-day movie stars – James Dean or Marlon Brando. He was the kind of guy that girls swooned over and threw their panties at. With an effort, she forced her face to stay blank.
"Hello, Harper, good to see you again," he said. His voice had deepened too, inflected with the rumbling timbre of his bear. She could sense his bear too, a huge powerful beast, pacing just beneath the surface. Her own bear was far too lively, pushing at her skin, eager to get reacquainted with him.
"And I'm Xander," another man said, holding out his hand. He looked a lot like Rocco, similarly huge and bulky, except that he had brown eyes, and a far more solemn aspect to his features. Of course – he was the Alpha of the clan, Rocco's beloved older brother who had been away in the military. Rocco used to joke about how serious his brother could be, but she'd always sensed the deep bond between them.
"It's great to see you both," her mom said to both bears, skipping handshakes, and throwing her arms around them instead. Despite her mood, Harper grinned. She and her mom were so opposite. While her mom was always full of affection for everyone, even complete strangers, she tended to hang back, her long-held fear of rejection preventing her from expressing her feelings until she knew they'd be reciprocated.
"Have the two of you met before?" Tarkus asked, handing a glass of Prosecco to each of them.
"We've met in passing," she replied immediately, and was startled to see a flash of pain cross Rocco's features. Why the hell is he offended? she thought, her annoyance rising. He's the one who acted like what we had meant nothing to him.
Tarkus made a toast to the successful mating, and they all raised their glasses. Harper kept a smile plastered across her face and took a long slug of the sparkling wine to steady her emotions.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw Xander elbow Rocco, who cleared his throat.
"I'd like to thank you, Tarkus and Amelia, for allowing your daughter to become my mate," he said. "And, most of all, I'd like to thank you, Harper, for accepting my offer. I intend to do everything in my power to provide a safe, comfortable and happy life for you." While Tarkus and her mom made sounds of approval, Harper gulped hard, forcing down a wave of nausea. She couldn't stand to hear these words. She'd agreed to be his mate – fine. But why did they have to keep up this whole charade as well? And right now, it was all she could do not to take a swipe at him and knock that good-guy grin from his face.
The next couple of hours passed in polite conversation – enquiries about each other's clan, the internal structures, the closest allies, the sources of threats. The mating ceremony was set for a week's time in Broken Hill, and it was quickly decided that Harper would go and live there afterwards. She didn't protest; she'd expected it to be the case. But as the reality sunk in, her stomach turned over. Giving up a comfortable, happy existence in Pine Bluff for a life with the guy she couldn't stand the sight of didn't appeal one bit. But she tried to focus on the happiness in Tarkus and Amelia's faces and remind herself that she was doing a good thing. Rocco described his cabin in some detail, along with the open-air swimming pool and the hot tub and steam room, and she pretended to be impressed, while thinking that there had been a time when she would've happily lived in a shed with him, but all the comforts in the world couldn't make her happy now.
All night she tried to avoid being alone with Rocco, but as the evening was drawing to a close, it inevitably happened. Tarkus was pointing out something to Xander at the end of the garden and Amelia had excused herself to the bathroom, and suddenly, there she was, somehow wedged into a corner of the veranda, Rocco's massive bulk planted right in front of her. There was a flicker of uncertainty in his smile, and his pupils were dilated again as he seemed to be drinking in the sight of her. She felt a flicker of irritation. He always used to say that she was the most beautiful woman on earth. Who cared if he liked the look of her? He'd still hurt her in the worst way possible, and she'd never forgive him for that.
"It's good to see you, Harper," he said, his voice low and rumbling, and he looked like he wanted to say far more. She pressed her lips together, knowing she couldn't afford to express the full extent of her feelings; at least, not while they were in public like this.