"I'm sorry, Rocco. You'll grow up to be a strong shifter, and an asset to your clan. You'll also be an excellent fighter – but that's in your hands, and will only happen if you find peace in your heart. I hope that gives you some solace at least." Those gnarled hands reached for his, and it took all of his self control not to wrench his hands away in disgust. Instead he bit down on his tongue to stop his emotions from spilling out.
His father handed the Oracle a large box of provisions – her payment for giving the terrible pronouncement – then he laid a hand on Rocco's back and guided him out of the cave.
"I have to break up with her," Rocco said, as soon as they started down the steep mountain track. And he couldn't say anymore, as his throat was choked with unshed tears.
"I'm afraid you do, son," his father said, keeping his calm, wise hand on his shoulder. For a long time, his breath came out in ragged shudders.
"What am I going to tell Harper?" he said, once he'd forced his emotions under control.
"You can't tell her the truth. The words of the Oracle can't be shared. Otherwise the danger will remain." Rocco stopped dead.
"Are you serious?" he yelled, his voice breaking with pain.
"I'm so sorry, Rocco. I know what she means to you. Try to break it off gently. Tell her that you're too young, and your feelings have just gotten too much for you." Rocco snorted.
"I told her I loved her this morning. As I do every morning." In fact, he'd kissed every one of her fingers as he gave her ten different reasons why he loved her so much. "And now I'm going to go home and tell her that I'm full of shit?" He stopped dead, staring down at the far-off peak of Broken Hill. "No. Not today. I'll tell her another day," he murmured.
"Son. It's got to be today. We don't know what the danger is, but we can't take the risk that something's going to happen very soon." Rocco pushed his shoulder-length hair back and puffed air out through his cheeks. Minutes passed, and his father left him to think, to try to come to terms with both the heartbreak he was suffering, and the heartbreak he was about to cause for someone else.
"You're right, as always, father," he said at last. "If I love Harper, then I've got to protect her. That's the most important thing." His father nodded, and he knew he'd made the right decision.
The next hours were hell. Harper greeting him joyfully, teasing him about where he'd been on his 'secret' mission. Her noticing immediately that something was wrong, with her unerring intuition. Then those beautiful eyes filling with tears. "Why?" was all she'd ask him, over and over. "But you said you loved me more than anything. And you said we'd always be together." As his father had advised him, he gave her the same excuse again and again – that he'd realized he was too young to be in such a serious relationship – it sounding lame even to his own ears. And at last she stopped asking. "But you do love me, Rocco?" she insisted. He looked her in the eye, and as his heart broke, he said no. He'd thought he did, but he now realized that he actually didn't. He saw the fire go out of her eyes. Her bear burst out of her, shredding all of his clothes, his rugged leather jacket, tearing up his flesh. He hadn't fought back, somehow grateful for the pain.
He thought telling her would be the worst of it, but he was wrong. Afterwards came the pain that he had to bear, all by himself. Spending every breathing second missing Harper and wishing she was with him. Desperate to call her up and say that it had all been a mistake. He stopped eating and wrestling. He lost 20 pounds. He started drinking and smoking. Two months later, he hooked up with another girl – a blonde cat shifter who captained the cheerleading team, and who couldn't have been a worse match for him. Because he was stupid, stupid, stupid. At the time it had seemed like a smart move, to prove to Harper that she shouldn't care about him. But now he could see that it had only caused her additional pain. It had been the worst time ever. Even thinking about it now made his eyes sting.
"And now we're mates," he said aloud to the trees branches above, gently waving in the breeze. "Could anything be more ironic?"
He knew deep down that none of this was his fault – neither the Oracle's pronouncement, nor Xander's insistence that he mated Harper – but guilt overwhelmed him anyway. "I'm going to make her happy, whatever it takes," he murmured. "This might not be the mating that we both dreamed of in our teens, but I'm going to try my damnedest to make it work." He sat up abruptly. He was going to start by doing something for her that she'd always dreamed of. He lifted his bike off the ground. To his amazement, the engine started. He hauled it up onto the track again, then he rode it more carefully than he ever had before, all the way back home, as a plan began to take shape in his mind.
He'd never have Harper's heart again, but if he could make her happy at least, then that was as much as he could expect in this life he'd been given.
9
"What kind of a trip?" Harper asked, wondering why Rocco was looking so excited.
It was a Sunday morning, and he'd made breakfast for both of them, out on the porch. There were eggs, bacon and pancakes, and only the bacon was burned, but it still tasted pretty good. She guessed from the smells coming from the kitchen that there had been several unsuccessful attempts before the current plate of food was ready, and she couldn't help being touched by his effort. He'd called her down to breakfast a little self-consciously, his hair all tangled as if he'd been tugging at it in frustration. He was wearing a fresh white t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up, displaying his bicep tattoos, and faded blue jeans, which looked incredible on his muscular frame.
"A vacation trip. Actually – " He paused, squinting in the sunlight, his irises the color of the sea on a sunny day. "Kind of a honeymoon."
Harper's mouth made a tight O.
"But I don't need a honeymoon, Rocco. We're bears, and they're for humans."
"No, shifters love them these days. Everyone goes on a big trip after they get mated. What else are we supposed to do with all the money we're earning from wrestling? And anyway, the clan are always asking when we're going. It'll look weird if we don't have a honeymoon." Harper raised an eyebrow and looked at him levelly.
"So this is an obligation?" He shrugged.
"Call it a pleasurable obligation." She suppressed a sigh. The word 'pleasurable' was like molasses on his tongue.
"And if I say no?" He shuffled in his chair, in a way that was completely out of character for him.
"C'mon, Harper. It'll be a lot of fun. I promise. You don't even have to hang out with me when we get there. Please. I want to do this. I want to show my gratitude to you. To show you I know how difficult all this is." He leaned a little closer as he was speaking, and a frisson of desire ran through her body. It was like he had a force field around him. That smile. The way his brows knitted together when he was being earnest. The way he ran his hand through his hair, pushing it back from his face. She'd never been able to resist him. When they used to be together, they were always touching, kissing, mating, as if they couldn't get enough of each other.
"I'll think about it," she said. Immediately, a grin lit his face.
"Great!" he said and leapt to his feet, always energized by a positive emotion.
"I'll clear the plates away," she said, getting up too.
"No, please. I insist. I don't want you to be distracted while you're thinking." His grin became playful, like the kid he used to be. He carried the plates into the cabin and Harper looked out at the forest in the distance as she drank her coffee. She hadn't even asked where the trip was going to be. It was of far less importance than whether she wanted to go on a trip with Rocco at all. Maybe it would be good to get away for a few days. Like most shifters, she'd rarely traveled outside of shifter territory. It might be nice to see the rest of the country. Why not enjoy the good parts of being stuck in Broken Hill and being Rocco's pretend mate?
"So?" Rocco said, cocking his head in that casual way of his. There was a blob of soap suds on his jaw. Who knew how it had got there.
"It depends where it is," she said.
"It's somewhere awesome. You're totally going to love it. But I'm going to keep it a surprise for you."