Beach Rental(93)
Discouragement flitted across his face, but was quickly banished.
“I’ll go away if you tell me it’s what you want, but I won’t be happy about it. It won’t change how I feel. If you want me to leave things as they are for the time being, you have to promise me something.”
When had their hands come together again? She looked at their entwined fingers in wonder. His fingers were longer and tanned. Her own fit perfectly with his.
“Promise what?”
“That you won’t fall for any other man until I have the chance to change your mind.”
There they were again—bubbles tickling inside her chest, trying to make her laugh. She brushed away a tear. He did care, even if he couldn’t say it.
He touched her still wet cheek. “Why are you crying?”
She shook her head.
Luke gently moved his hand from her cheek to her neck. He trailed his fingers along her skin as he smoothed errant locks of hair back behind her ear. Juli closed her eyes unable to bear the sensations.
“Promise me,” he said.
The words refused to be spoken. Her heart wanted to shout her feelings for the whole world to hear, but she couldn’t. Maybe it was both of them. Both confused. He had leaned forward and her cheek was pressed against his, again she was hiding her face, but she nodded. He held her close, or as close as he could, and seemed to accept her response as a yes.
“Until then I’m here for you—in any way you’ll have me. As a friend, if that’s what you want.”
He still hadn’t said the words she wanted to hear, but these were pretty good. She might fit in this comfort zone well enough for the time being.
Luke moved away and took his hands with him. She felt bereft, as if something dear had been stolen. He leaned back against the sofa with an odd smile.
She asked, "What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking if anyone had asked me before this moment whether I was a patient man, I would’ve said yes. I’ve discovered I’m not.”
The smile stayed on his face, though, and Juli liked it very much.
“Let’s talk,” he said. “Ask me anything.”
Contentment. Whether it was pregnancy hormones or happiness because nothing needed to end today, Juli was happy to watch him, the way his lips curved, finely chiseled and with a quirky curl on the right side. His cheeks showed a faint trace of beard, five o’clock shadow. His chin. How had she never noticed how strong his chin was?
“Anything.” The warmth of his smile had moved into his eyes.
His eyes were so beautiful she wanted to cry.
Juli sniffled.
“Need a tissue?”
“I’m fine. Crying seems to come with the territory.”
He walked to the kitchen counter and returned with the box of tissues. He put it on the coffee table, near at hand.
“Anything.”
Short of an outright declaration of love, what did she want to hear?
“Will you tell me about your marriage?”
Silence filled the space between them for a minute.
“What do you want to know?”
“Whatever you’ll tell me.”
Luke spoke. His voice was tight, like a bandage over a wound. “We were married for five years. Her name was Helen. We met in college and married our senior year.”
Juli waited.
“One day she said she wanted more, something different. She said there wasn’t another man. If there had been, at least I would’ve had something, or someone, concrete to blame. But no, it was our life. Or me.”
“You let her go?”
“Not easily. We tried counseling, but it didn’t work. In the end, after we separated, she went back to school and got her Master’s.” He drummed his fingers on the table in a quick-fire motion, then stopped abruptly. “She could have done that with us together. I never understood why she disagreed, but it doesn’t matter now.”
“Did she ever remarry?”
He shook his head no. “I don’t know. I haven’t heard from her in a long time.” He straightened. “Anything else?”
The baby kicked. It startled her. “Oh.” She touched her belly where the kick repeated itself.
“Is it a boy or a girl?”
“I don’t know.”
“Doesn’t everyone find out the sex now?”
“I don’t want to know. I want to be surprised.”
“I’d like to be surprised with you.”
His words settled over her, warm but sharp
“I’ll be a good father to your child. He rubbed his jaw. “Sorry, patience is hard.”
Her voice dropped to a hushed tone. “I know you’d be good to this child. That’s not the point.” Were they going to have this conversation, after all? She put her feet on the floor and sat straighter. “Let me try to explain what I feel.”