Luke looked at her, then turned back to the view. “You don’t have to decide today.”
“It’s not good to leave a house vacant anyway and I have no idea where I’d go. Maybe inland, maybe not. I like it here. I doubt I’ll leave before spring or summer.” She hesitated, wondering if this was the moment for honesty, then moved on. “How is Adela doing?”
“Still touchy. She needs time. Speaking of which, it’s time for me to be on my way. I have to go by the gallery and take care of a few things.”
“I appreciate the time you’ve spent helping me.”
He cleared his throat. “I’m happy to help.”
Luke was trying hard not to look at her. Guys handled emotion differently. Luke might not be able to say the loss of his dear friend had left a still tender wound in his heart, but she read it on his face.
This was clearly not the moment to share her news. Thank goodness.
****
“Thanksgiving is three days from now. Would you join the family for turkey? Just my parents and a few cousins. Nothing fancy.”
Many times she’d stood in front of the mirror, rehearsing, planning how to tell Luke. She couldn’t make it come out right no matter how she arranged the words. There was no happy ending here for her and Luke.
She gestured toward the table and put a cup of coffee at his place. For herself, she had a glass of ice water.
“I’m sorry, I can’t. I’ve been meaning to tell you, but I didn’t know how.”
Luke shook his head. “I wish you’d reconsider. The family is looking forward to you being there.”
“Please let me explain. There’s no easy way to say it. I have to say it outright. I’m pregnant.”
The color drained from his face. He sat absolutely still. The ticking of a clock somewhere filled the void, like the ticking of her heart, her pulse, and the rhythm of each breath. Into the waiting silence, she added, “Just over three months along.”
Luke breathed in deeply, held it, and then slowly exhaled. “Frankie? No. Who…Ben?” He trailed off, lost.
He should’ve just slapped her.
She froze for one long moment. Would he rush to apologize and try to explain what he’d intended to say? No. She grabbed the edge of the table and, as she stood, she shoved it hard into his mid-section. The coffee cup rocked and rattled, then spilled long runnels of liquid over the side. He gripped the edge of the table and looked shocked. Perhaps as shocked as Juli felt.
“Get out.” She breathed the words.
“Wait a minute.” Luke stood. “What are you angry about? You and Ben didn’t…were platonic. You had separate rooms. I saw them. Ben told me.”
“If I’m more than three months pregnant and you think it isn’t Ben’s child, then you’re saying I cheated, that I was unfaithful.”
His mouth opened, his lips moved, but no words came out. Several times he tried to speak before he was able to. “Look, I’m not being judgmental. I’m surprised.”
“It’s still adultery and you think I’m capable of it. And have the nerve to hurt me by saying it.” Juli stalked to the door and pulled it open. “It’s time for you to leave.”
He went and it was for the best. She told herself she was a fool to have allowed herself to enjoy his company so much. To depend on him. It was a lucky escape.
Thank goodness, it had ended now, before anyone’s heart could be broken.
Juli stood with her back to the door and felt a couple of lonely tears straggle down her cheeks. Ben was gone. Now, Luke was gone. She’d pushed him out, hadn’t she? Why? Because she had a long pregnancy to get through and couldn’t deal with anything, or anyone, who would create more emotional confusion.
What had happened to her, the girl who was self-reliant and didn’t need anyone? She’d been a widow for about as long as she’d been a wife. If Ben hadn’t changed his will, she would already have moved on, settlement in hand, still pregnant and still alone.
The difference was, now she was securely and pleasantly housed and financially secure.
Ben’s room was untouched. She’d closed the door after the first few days and left it shut. She opened it now. The bed was made as it had been that last morning. Juli eased her body slowly down upon the cotton bedspread. She stared at the ceiling. It was time to move on with her life and she had to do it on her own terms.
Juli Cooke knew what it was like to be hardworking and independent. Juli Bradshaw knew how it felt to be loved by a good and worthy man. For the first time in her life, she had experienced deep and abiding grief. But motherhood?
She could learn.
Juli pushed up from the bed and looked at Ben’s room. Mostly done in shades of blues and aqua. What she’d come to think of as a typical beach rental. A decent rental, but without distinction. Ben said he’d never gotten around to personalizing the house and, for the most part, it was true, but now a change was due.