He didn’t smile back, but he looked a little less intense as he signaled and pulled back onto the road.
It was simple at the bank. Shortly before he died, Ben had asked her to sign signature cards in case he needed money in a hurry and was unable to take care of it himself. She’d done it and it hadn’t seemed remarkable to her that he trusted her. Had he already been planning to make her his heir? Today, the only changes needed were to remove Ben’s name. His death certificate was all they needed.
It shouldn’t be this easy to tidy up the loose ends of a life.
A concept, a responsibility, mushroomed in her head, momentarily blocking out everything else. The loose ends were tidied, but not erased. They were transferred to her.
The essence of Ben’s life was transferred to Juli.
An inadequate vessel.
There’d been a day when she could’ve taken the money promised to her and run—but for having known Ben. She couldn’t disregard the fact of his existence. Admit it, Juli. His impact, his legacy, is about more than money.
It’s about my whole life.
Now, he was gone, but the ties weren’t more easily cut. In fact, they were impossible for her heart and conscience to sever.
“Would you like to go to lunch?”
An unexpected invitation. She looked at Luke. She didn’t want to go straight home. Going to the bank had almost been part of the ritual of passing. Something law demanded. It was a milestone that should be acknowledged.
“I’m sorry, Luke. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My head is all jumbled. Yes, I’d like to go to lunch.”
“Any preference?”
“None. Anything is good.”
He pulled into a shopping center parking lot. “How about Rucker John’s?”
“Fine. Ben and I ate there once.” She wished she hadn’t said that.
“Would you rather…?”
“No. This is great.”
The hostess seated them and the waitress gave them menus. “What would you like to drink?”
“Water,” Luke said. Juli nodded agreement.
They were still examining the menus when she returned with the glasses of ice water. “Do you need another minute before ordering?”
“Yes, please.”
Juli reviewed the menu, then placed it on the table. Luke was staring across the room.
“You look like you have something on your mind,” she said.
“I do, but it’s none of my business.”
She shrugged. “Go ahead and say what you’re thinking.”
“I’ve never understood something.”
“What?”
He shook out the folded napkin. “I know why he asked, but why did you agree to marry him?”
“Is this genetic or just a family tradition?”
“What?”
She fidgeted with the silverware, tapping the handle of the knife on the table. “This need to interrogate over food.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”
She released the knife and clasped her hands to keep them still. “No, wait. I’m the one who’s sorry. Interrogate is a harsh word, but it’s a joke—was a joke—between Ben and me. I don’t mind. Really.” She ran her fingers down the moisture film on the outside of her glass. “I mean that. You know I’m blunt. If I don’t want to answer, I won’t. If you ask something you shouldn’t, I’ll tell you.”
He sat up straighter. “I’m listening.”
“Why I married Ben….” Deep breath. “It was his eyes.” She looked at the nearby fireplace, its embers cold. “It was what I saw in his eyes. Honesty. Openness. No, not really openness. Vulnerability, but with courage. The willingness to risk being hurt or ridiculed.”
She straightened the napkin in her lap, almost wishing Luke would interrupt, would pick up the thread of this conversation and take it elsewhere.
“I saw someone who, for reasons that made no sense, wanted me. Wanted my companionship. Wanted me on any terms he could get me. Me. Juli. I looked in his eyes and trusted him.”
“Excuse me.” Luke pushed his chair back and walked off toward the restrooms.
The first stab of shock at his abrupt departure passed quickly. No call of nature was that compelling. He’d asked for it, right? What had he expected her to say? That she’d married Ben for the money?
The waitress returned to take their orders. She looked at the empty chair. “Should I come back?”
Juli nodded. “Yes, thanks.”
Luke returned within minutes. “Sorry for the interruption.” He sat and placed his napkin back in his lap.
“I wanted to say one more thing. There was also the money.”
He choked on his water. He coughed and she rose, thinking she needed to pat him on the back, but he motioned to her to sit.