I was out the door and running for the stairs before I fully collected my next breath.
EVA
For the first half hour, I was utterly inconsolable. Reese just held me and let me cry. She tried to take Skylar from me, but I couldn't part with another child tonight. So I made myself calm down enough to let Skylar find some rest in my arms. And that's when I started blubbering.
"It's all my fault. If only I hadn't smarted back to her. Me and my fucking big trap. I pissed her off, and she took my baby. Oh, God. Pick is never going to forgive me." I closed my eyes and tried not to pass out. "What if she hurts Julian? What if she leaves him somewhere else and-"
"Shh." Reese stroked my hair. "Don't even go there, sweetie. Don't let yourself think about that."
"But-"
"No. It's late. You're exhausted. Your daughter is exhausted. Let's get you into bed."
She tried to draw me to my feet from the couch, but I resisted. "No, I can't." I shook my head emphatically. No way could I go back to the room I had shared with Pick for the past few months. "I can't stay here. Take me home."
Reese bit her lip. "Are you sure?"
I nodded. "He must hate me right now."
"I doubt he-"
"I lost his son, Reese." My chin bunched as a fresh wave of tears fell. "Please. Just take me home." Even though her apartment didn't feel like home at all. This was my home.
Reese granted me my wish, and drove me to her duplex. She pried a sleeping Skylar from my arms and laid her gently in the crib. Then she tugged me to my bed and lay down with me. I rested my cheek on her shoulder and stared straight ahead, numb and cold.
At some point, Mason came home from work. Appearing in the doorway, he gazed in at us.
"She okay?"
"Not yet." Reese waved him away and went back to stroking my hair.
"Do you think Pick will find him?" I asked, staring at the far wall.
"I think he'll keep looking until he does."
I closed my eyes. Yes, he would. That thought comforted me as I replayed my last few seconds with Julian. I hadn't even been able to kiss him goodbye. When the police officer finally agreed to let Tristy take him, she'd tried walking out the door without his car seat or his diaper bag. I'd stopped her and piled them on her, every diaper I had, and all the powdered formula he hadn't drank from in over a month, bottles, blankets, everything I could think of, hoping to overwhelm her into giving in and letting him stay. But the cops' presence spooked her too much. She'd strapped everything over her shoulders and ran.
I would never forget the last words she'd said before taking my son away.
After glancing me up and down with a degrading sneer, she'd hissed, "I just want you to know he'll never really love you. You're not his Tinker Bell."
I hadn't been able to resist snorting. "Oh, but I am his Tinker Bell."
But, was I really? I'd lost his son, and that probably destroyed any love he'd ever felt for me. How could he ever forgive me for this? I sure as hell wouldn't be able to forgive myself.
Chapter 27
PICK
Sore, drained, and scared out of my mind, I let myself back into my apartment in the wee hours of the morning. Without Fighter. I had looked in every crack house and heroine den I could think of, trying to find Tristy. I'd never been in tight with that crowd, but I'd stumbled across a few old acquaintances who knew her, and they'd given me a couple ideas where she might be. But every single lead was a dead end.
I had no idea where Julian was or what was happening to him. Thinking about him being hurt, scared, or alone messed with my head too much; I tried to keep those thoughts out, even though they kept crowding back in and nearly sending me into a panic.
I contacted every hospital, asking for either Tristy or him. I'd called every old friend of hers I could think of, asking them to pass along a message. But not even fucking Quick Shot had seen her in the last twenty-four hours.
I'd bombarded her Facebook page. I'd driven around for hours, and even stopped by the police station. I didn't know what else to try. I figured the next move was Tristy's, but I couldn't accept that. I couldn't wait for her to grow tired of him again. She probably wouldn't last long, not by herself like she was. She'd bring him back. Eventually. But even five minutes away from him was too excruciatingly long for me.
God, this hurt.
Needing my Tinker Bell to help ease my broken heart, I stumbled back to my bedroom only to find it empty.
"Oh . . . fuck."
She'd been hysterical, and I hadn't comforted her. Recalling the way she'd begged me to forgive her ripped through my chest. But I'd told her it was okay, hadn't I? Shit, I couldn't remember what I'd said. I'd been too frantic to find my boy. One thing I knew, though, was that I couldn't sleep in my bed without her.
I found myself knocking on Mason Lowe's door at four-thirty in the morning. It took him over a minute to pull it open, but when he saw me, he heaved out a big sigh, shook his head, and moved aside without saying a word. I stepped inside, and he followed me back to Eva's room.
I went straight to her bed and touched her shoulder, rolling her onto her back, only to realize this woman had dark hair. Next to Reese, another form stirred and the hall light made her gorgeous blonde locks glisten. Bypassing Lowe's woman, I reached for Eva and pulled her into my arms. Her lashes fluttered. When she was awake enough to focus on my face, she clutched my arm.
"Did you find him?"
I drew in a breath. "Not yet."
From the bed, Reese rose and hurried to collect Skylar from her cradle. I didn't even have to ask her, she simply bundled the sleeping infant into her car seat and then gathered up the diaper bag for us. After she nodded at me, letting me know she'd follow with the kid, I carried Eva from the room and out to my car. She didn't protest, which was good, because I didn't have any fight left inside me.
When we made it home, we put Skylar in the crib. She looked extra small in there by herself. Then we went to the front room and sat on the couch to wait. Pressed up against her and holding her hand, I squeezed Eva's fingers.
"Thank you for fighting for him," I finally said.
She didn't answer, just leaned her cheek on my shoulder and quietly cried, waiting through the rest of the night with me.
***
Two days passed. The two longest days of my life.
I didn't work, rarely ate, and only slept in spurts because I'd always jerk awake with a new idea of where I could look for Tristy. But she was never anywhere I searched. Reports came back to me from people who'd seen her with a baby, but I always just missed them by the time I got there.
At the beginning of the third day, my cell phone rang at two in the morning. I was instantly awake to answer the unlisted number. Next to me, Eva bolted upright and flipped on the bedside lamp, her eyes wide and alert.
"Hello?" I rushed out. Please be Tristy, please be Tristy, please-
"P-Pick?" Tristy's hoarse voice sounded scared and uncertain, but it made me sob out my relief.
"Oh God. Oh, thank God. Tris, where are you? Is Julian okay?"
"Julian?" she sneered after a loud sniff. "All you care about is Julian, isn't it? You used to ask if I was okay."
"Christ, Tristy. You abandoned him here, your own son. You fucking left him with me to take care of. So I did. Can you blame me for growing to love him? For worrying about him? Why did you take him?"
"Because he's mine! Why shouldn't I take him back? He's my kid. You annulled our marriage."
"I annulled the marriage because you took off. Now, where are you? I'll come to you, and we can talk, face to face." When she didn't answer, I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth. "Tris, please. You scared the shit out of me. These last few days, not knowing where you were, not knowing what was happening to him, they've been the worst few days of my life. Just . . . talk to me. Please . . . Tell me where you are."
"I don't believe you," she said in a hoarse voice. "See, I don't believe that's why you stopped our marriage at all."
"What?" I shook my head, utterly confused. "You're not making any sense. Why are you doing this? Where are you? Why did you leave without even talking to me first?"
"Because of that blonde slut you had in your apartment, that's why."
My gaze shot to Tink. She chewed on a thumbnail as she watched me, her blue eyes wide with worry. "What?" she mouthed.
I shook my head and returned my attention to Tris. "What about her?" I asked cautiously.
"Who was she? And why was she taking care of my son?"
"She was taking care of your son that you abandoned because she's the babysitter."
Eva sat up straighter, her thumb dropping from her mouth as she realized she was being brought into the conversation.
"I thought Mrs. Rojas was watching him."