Julian. She wasn't going to leave then, but not because of her feelings for me. She was only staying for my son. Pain slashed through my stomach. I leaned my forearm against the doorjamb and then pressed my face into it.
"I understand why you're unsettled and shocked. The entire thing is fucking unbelievable. That's why I didn't know how to tell you. I knew you wouldn't believe me. You'd think I was insane, or delusional, or I don't know what."
She turned slowly. Tears had filled her eyes but they weren't falling. "Oh, I believe you."
I bit my knuckle, hating how far away from her I felt, how hard she was blocking me out. "Then why are you so mad?"
Her blue eyes flared with anger. Jabbing her finger toward the front of the apartment, she hissed so as not to wake the kids, "Because you just stood out there and told me you loved me, you asshole. But you don't love me. You love some woman you've made me up to be for the past ten years."
"Tink," I started, warning in my voice. I pushed away from the door and stepped toward her.
She held up her hand. "No. Don't you dare call me that. Don't ever call me that again. I am not your Tinker Bell. I'm Eva Mercer. That fucking Tink is the one you love, the woman you've built me up to be in your head. Not me."
"Bullshit," I growled as I caught her face hard in my hands. "I don't even know that woman. I saw her for thirty seconds ten fucking years ago. All I know is that I felt happy with her. Happier than I'd ever felt before. It was that feeling of peace, contentment, and satisfaction that I've been searching for. But you, Eva Mercer, are the one I fell for. You were the one who came to my home to save my ass and watch my little boy. You were the one I found sitting on the floor, playing with him and making him laugh. And it's your beautiful caring heart that makes me so eager to race home from work each night so I can feel your soft, warm body curl up next to me in bed. So don't ever fucking tell me how I feel about you again. I know exactly how I feel. If you don't want me to call you that name again, fine. Done. But it is this person . . . " I placed my palm against her chest and pressed in. "This is the woman I love."
Her tears spilled down her cheeks. "But you probably never would've paid attention to me if it wasn't for her."
I shook my head, trying to clear it. It seemed incredibly strange to me that she was jealous of herself, that she could separate Tinker Bell from Eva. To me, they were one and the same, but I also understood exactly where she coming from.
"You know what," I said, throwing my hands in the air, defeated. "You're right. I probably wouldn't have."
When her face contorted with devastation, I leaned forward and gently kissed the corner of her mouth before brushing my fingers over her cheek. "You're not exactly the type of woman I usually go for, and I saw that Alec prick who fathered Skylar. I know perfectly well I'm not your type, either. So I'm going to be eternally grateful those glimpses made me pay attention to you. I never would've gotten to know you as well as I have or learned what an amazing woman you are otherwise."
She sniffed and shook her head even as she leaned toward me. "I think those glimpses are blinding you to what a vain, pretentious, selfish bitch I am."
"Shut up," I whispered and kissed her, harder this time. "No one bashes the woman I love." I slid my fingers down her cheeks to cradle her neck. "I've never been as happy as I've been since you stepped foot inside this apartment."
She caught my elbows, her eyes earnest. "I haven't either."
I pressed my forehead to hers. "Then what're we fighting about?"
"Are we fighting?" Her fingers trailed up to my shoulders.
I skimmed my lips over her jaw. "I think so. It feels like I'm trying to talk you into staying."
With a relenting sigh, she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me before nipping my jaw with her teeth. "You know I won't leave. You had me at 'bullshit.'"
I smiled and then groaned when her mouth started traveling south, down my throat. Lifting my chin to let her do whatever she liked, I swallowed when she licked her way over my pulse. Her fingers smoothed along my shoulder and down my back.
I arched a brow. "So I've been blathering like an idiot about how much I love you because . . . ?"
She made a humming sound in the back of her throat, which sent an alarming rush through me and had me harder than I already was. "Because I like listening to you blather about how much you love me."
I chuckled. "Evil woman. I'm going to have to punish you for that."
Backing her toward the bed, I let her keep kissing my neck as relief flooded me. She wasn't leaving. I probably should've stepped away and slowed the pace, not pressured her into more right after my big revelation, but her fingers were slipping down the front of my chest toward my throbbing cock.
"A spanking?" she guessed, lifting her gaze enough to slash me with a curious glance.
I shook my head, picked her up by the hips, and laid her back on the bed. Standing above her, I watched her stretch out on my sheets, looking eager and delectable.
"First," I said, bending just enough to slip off her socks. "I'm going to torture you by touching and licking you all over until you're writhing and cursing me for more." I unbuttoned the top clasp of her blue jeans and licked my lips. "And then I'm going to lick you and touch you even longer."
"Oh, God." She arched her hips and lifted them to help me when I hooked my fingers in the waistline and drew the jeans down her legs, but I paused when I reached her knees.
Keeping her legs trapped in the denim confines, I leaned in and pressed my mouth to her mound, right through her pristine pink panties. With a gasp, she bucked up and grabbed two fistfuls of my hair. I nipped lightly at her hipbone, then I used the tip of my nose to cruise my way up along her ribs, bunching up her shirt as I went.
"Here," I murmured when it caught on the swell of her breasts, "let me help you take this off."
When I had her down to her bra and panties with her pants still clinging around her knees, I skimmed some kisses around her lace-covered breasts. Crawling above her and bracing my weight on my forearms, I framed either side of her face.
"Hi," I said, grinning down at her.
She grinned back and touched my face. "Hi, yourself. I don't think you got my jeans all the way off yet."
I winked. "For now, they're right where I want them." Leaning in close to her ear, I whispered, "It's all part of your torture."
She shivered, and I kissed her. Our mouths melted together. Her lips opened under mine, and my tongue skimmed alongside hers. Under me, her body rose up, trying to rub against mine, so I lowered my hips to hers, and she whimpered, digging her fingers into my hair.
My erection ground into her, and she broke away from my mouth to gasp for breath over my shoulder.
"Oh, my. I never . . . this never . . . "
My teeth caught her ear and tugged, making her shudder and tighten her grip on my ass as she wound her arms around me. "Never what?"
She shook her head. "I don't know. I just . . . I'm not used to feeling this much. It's . . . it's . . . "
"Perfection," I finished for her.
"Yeah."
She attacked my mouth, kissing me hard, licking inside and clawing at me with her eager hands. She latched onto my lip rings with her teeth and tugged lightly.
I growled and pushed my hips deeper into hers.
"I'm beginning to see how torturous having my jeans there is. I want to wrap my legs around you so bad right now."
Me and her both. I was tempted to rip them off, as well as the rest of her clothing. But I wanted this to last.
"I wonder what it'd be like to kiss you if you had a tongue ring?" she said as she touched my eyebrow hoop.
"I'll get one tomorrow," I panted right before tangling my tongue with hers again.
We kissed forever.
Growing restless, Eva arched against me, trying to wrestle free of her jeans. "Pick, please . . . "
I couldn't take anymore, so I ripped them off and tossed them over my shoulder.
"Oh, thank God."
She immediately moved to wrap my waist with her thighs, but I caught her hip.
"Not yet."
She groaned. "Patrick."
I smiled. "That's what I like to hear, baby. Say my name in that sexy voice."
"Pat . . . " Her head fell back as I began to kiss my way back down her body, " . . . trick."
I lingered around her pretty bra, buried my nose into her cleavage and inhaled her heavenly lilac scent. Then I moved on again, licking and nibbling my way down, worshipping every inch. When I reached her belly button, I dipped my tongue inside, then grasped her panties with my teeth and peeled them off. She tensed in anticipation, making me smile when she began to pet my head encouragingly. But I paused when I came across her bright red C-section scar.