Be My Hero(52)

     



 

The nightlight by the crib brightened the room just enough to put a  romantic glow on the atmosphere. Eva and I lay on our sides, facing each  other, our hands tucked under our cheeks. We studied one another for a  while without speaking. I wondered what she was thinking, but I was too  afraid to ask, so I let my lashes flutter closed.

Almost immediately, I could feel her mind start to whirl, and my guts  knotted right back up as worry pierced me. If she called off our new  arrangement, I didn't know how I'd survive it.

"Pick?"

Damn it.

I opened my eyes warily. "Yeah?"

Concern coated her gaze. "Is this wrong?"

I shook my head, trying not to lose it. "Why would it be wrong? It's no  different than what we've been doing for the past two weeks."

She shrugged and bit her lip. "But I was only here because you needed help. Now . . . now I'm here because . . . I want to be."

Wow. Just hearing her say that warmed me up all over. I swallowed  noisily, trying not to reach out and just yank her against me. "I still  need help. Julian still needs a sitter."

"But it's different now. Can't you feel it? Me deciding to stay . . . it changed things."

Reaching out slowly, I caught her hand and squeezed her fingers. "Yeah, I  feel it," I admitted. "But I still don't want you to go."

"I don't want to go either." Even as she said that, though, she slid her  hand out from under mine, putting emotional distance between us.

Fuck, I hated emotional distance.

Confusion filled her eyes. "I know in my gut this is wrong, but I think I  found my niche in life by being here. I mean, is it lame that I  actually like being a homemaker? That I like watching kids? They're just  . . . It's fulfilling to watch them learn every little thing, like how  to reach out their hand to grab a hold of something. I like . . . it  feels so satisfying when I manage to get them to stop crying after  they've been upset. I like feeding them and cleaning them and dressing  them. They're just these perfect miniature little people who have no  clue how to be people yet. When I bring them down off a big cry, it's as  if my super power just kicked in. I feel . . . rejuvenated."

I shook my head, my brow crinkling with confusion. "Why would that be lame? I think it's amazing."

She flushed and picked at a corner seam on her pillowcase. "I don't  know. I just . . . where I grew up, domestic women who stayed at home,  taking care of the house and watching the kids, were always looked down  upon. If you wanted to get anywhere in the world, you went off to  college and got a real job, so you could pay someone else to watch your  kids if you ever had any. But being here these past few weeks, actually  doing this . . . it's hard work. It takes effort, patience,  perseverance, and more freaking energy than I ever thought I possessed.  And yet, at the end of every day, I feel more fulfilled, more . . . I  don't know . . . just satisfied with my life and myself than I'd ever  felt before."

I reached out and covered her hand again, halting her nervous plucking.  "I think what you're doing with those two children is just as important  if not more important than any 'real' job with a time card and W2 could  ever be. That other kind of life would be fine, if that's what you  wanted. But you don't have to be something splashy and important to the  world, not when you're the entire world to Skylar and Julian."

I shook my head. "I never had a mother. She abandoned me in the hospital  where I was born. She didn't even name me. A couple of nurses dubbed me  after their husbands. That's why I have three first names." Bringing  her hand to my mouth, I kissed her palm reverently. "You have no idea  what I would've given to have a mother as attentive as you are, someone  my entire life revolved around. You make a difference, and it's a huge  one. There's nothing silly or inconsequential about it."

Tears filled her eyes. "Boy, do you have a way with words, Patrick Jason Ryan."

"I do, don't I?" I smiled softly and reached out to flick a tear off her cheek.

She sniffed and brushed at her cheek too. "Is it bad of me to say I hope your wife never comes back?"

I blew out a long breath before whispering my own awful confession. "I hope she doesn't either."

Eva shifted, moving to the edge of her pillow and closing the gap  between us. Instant heat flooded me. The erection I always had when  lying in bed with her went raging hard. I let go of her hand to fist my  fingers into the mattress and keep myself from touching her.

"Tink . . . " I started, but saying that name felt wrong in this moment.  Tinker Bell was a fantasy, a dream of a woman I'd never met, someone I  wanted to come and save me from my fucked up life. Eva was a reality and  so much better than a few glimpses I'd had when I was fourteen. So I  added, "Eva . . . "         

     



 

My voice was a lot more hesitant and leery than the rest of me. I wanted  her to move closer. I wanted her against me, on top of me, under me,  all over me. But there seemed to be all kinds of reasons why it was a  bad idea.

"I just want to kiss you," she said, her eyes full of hope.

I squeezed mine shut, so fucking tempted; it wouldn't take much to tip  me over the edge. "Baby, you know this can't go anywhere."

"I know." She shifted even closer, then lifted her hand and set it against my cheek. "But I still want to anyway. Just once."

I crumbled. "Just once?" Slipping my trembling fingers around to the  back of her neck, I tipped her face up, even as my other hand curled  around her waist and drew her against me. "You'll have to be the one to  stop when you've had your fill, because . . . " I shook my head. I sure  as hell wouldn't be able to.

"I will." She nodded and drove me insane when she licked her lips in anticipation. Goddamn, this might kill me.

Don't do it, a small, rational part of my head screamed. But I totally didn't listen to that guy.

I dipped my face down and stopped a breath from contact, letting the  anticipation build in that tiny pocket of air between us until it damn  near crackled with electricity. Eva whimpered and strained against me,  her impatience snapping when she closed the gap and pressed her mouth to  mine.

My fingers tightened in her hair at the base of her neck, not letting  her get any closer. I'd waited ten years for this; no fucking way was I  rushing it. Except her soft body sliding against mine made it difficult  to restrain myself.

Her fingers fisted around the cloth of my shirt, right over my heart  where her name was imprinted on my chest and into my very soul. I  increased the pressure against her lips bit by bit, letting us both  experience every little nuance of each other. Her mouth was soft and  supple, giving into mine with exactly the right heat and pressure. And  when her breath came from between them, mixing with mine, I groaned. She  tasted like . . . I don't even know, but it tasted like home.

She clutched my shoulder with one hand and let go of my shirt with her  other to bury her fingers in my hair. I shifted closer until her breasts  flattened against me, and my arousal dug into her hip.

Clutching my hair with more fervor when I applied more pressure to her  mouth, she canted her hips and undulated slowly, hypnotically. My palm  slid down to her ass to help her grind. By the time our mouths opened  and our tongues touched, we were pawing at each other, going as far as  we could with our clothes on and our hands staying outside the cloth.

But shit, damn, fuck, I swear I had an orgasm without actually shooting  my load when her tongue slid against mine and rolled around it. My  muscles seized and my hips slammed up. Rolling her onto her back, I  climbed above her and nestled my legs between hers as our mouths fucked  the shit out of each other. Lacing our fingers together, I pulled her  hands over her head and kissed her senseless, lips smashed, tongues  diving, hearts pounding, teeth clashing.

Jesus, it was everything.

I bit her bottom lip and her hips bumped up against my aching cock.

"Pick," she gasped, tightening her grip on my hands. "I need . . . I need . . . "

"I know, baby. I'm on it."

But when my hand slid down over her hip and along her thigh, headed  toward the sweetness between her legs, my son decided to wake up.

"You've gotta be kidding me," I growled, lifting my face.

Under me, Eva snickered. "Wow, he's more effective than a chastity belt."

I whimpered and rolled onto my back beside her, flinging my arm over my  face and trying to control my raging hormones. But Eva continued to  snicker.

I turned my face to scowl at her. "There is absolutely nothing funny about this."

Which only made her laugh harder.

Women.

When she sat up to get out of bed, I caught her arm. "I'll get him for  you." I needed a reason to get out of this bed and hopefully cool down.

She beamed her appreciation, and her smile was so beautiful I was  tempted to dive back on top of her. But I filled my cheeks with air and  turned away. Scowling at the kid, I picked him up and carried him back  to the bed, where Eva reached out with open arms to take over. After I  climbed back over her to settle in, I groaned bitterly as Eva opened her  shirt and plucked out a bare breast, with the biggest, brightest  berry-red nipple attached to the end before she hid it inside Fighter's  mouth.