Be My Hero(19)

"I swear to God, Eva. The last thing I want to do is hurt her, but I  just can't . . . God." He swiped the heels of his hands over his eyes.  "I don't know how to get past this. I don't deserve her forgiveness. I  don't . . . how the hell do I touch something so pure and amazing when  I'm so fucking filthy?"

I bit my lip when tears began to swim in my eyes. Freaking pregnancy  hormones. They just wouldn't leave me alone, would they? But my heart  was breaking for poor Mason. The man could not forgive himself for what  he'd been.

Picking up a piece of peanut-butter coated apple, I took a bite and  began to munch, trying to act as cool and collected as I didn't feel.  While Mason tried not to emotionally fall apart in front of me, I licked  my fingers clean of my snack and then wiped my mouth with the back of  my hand. Finally, I cleared my throat.

"So, I've been reading all these new mommy, expecting-your-first-baby  articles online lately. And they're really cool. They go week by week  through your pregnancy, telling you how big your baby is compared to a  piece of fruit." Setting my hands over my bump, I grinned. "Baby Girl's  about the size of a pineapple right now, by the way."

Mason blinked and stared at me as if I'd lost my mind. But I did have a point, and I was about to get to it.

"The advice that helped me stop freaking out the most was about dealing  with all the mistakes I'm going to make as a mother. They say it's  inevitable, you know. No matter how great I want to be, I'm going to  mess shit up. And I'm going to worry that I'm destroying my child's  life. But I read this thing that said as long as I love her and try to  make her happy, the rest will fall into place. Discipline, temper  tantrums, all of it. Instead of drowning in my mistakes, I'll learn from  them. And the more joy I bring to her life, the more I'll bring to my  own." Reaching out, I grasped Mason's hand hard.

"Are you listening to me, Mason Lowe? Just love Reese and make her  happy. And when you bring joy to her life, it'll bring joy to your life.  Instead of wallowing over everything you did wrong, you'll forgive  yourself and move on from this, because making her happy is the ultimate  priority. Everything else is just bullshit."

He gently squeezed my fingers in return. "I want to do that," he assured  me, his voice low and filled with sincerity. "I do. I just want to show  her how much I love her and bring a smile to her face, but I . . . " He  shook his head helplessly. "Right now, I can't even imagine what I  could do to accomplish that."

My lips spread wide as an idea hit me. "I'll tell you what you're going  to do. You're going to dig out that engagement ring you have hiding in  the bottom of your shirt drawer, and you're going to propose to her.  Tonight."         

     



 

"Wha . . . " Mouth falling open, Mason sputtered a couple seconds before  he scowled at me. Stepping closer, he sent a quick glance toward the  opening of the kitchen before he whirled back and quietly hissed, "How  the hell do you know what's in my shirt drawer?"

I snorted and waved an unconcerned hand. "Oh, please. If you want to  hide something from your girlfriend, next time put it in a better place  than you did. Reese loves wearing your shirts when you're not here. She  found the ring months ago."

"She . . . " He shook his head, denying it, and then tried to speak, but nothing intelligible came out.

"You should've heard her," I went on. "I'd just fallen asleep when this  scream ripped through the entire apartment. I thought someone was  killing her. By the time I scrambled into her room, she was dancing  around and trying to put it on, but her fingers were shaking so badly  she kept missing. She was so happy she was crying. I don't know if I've  ever seen her that ecstatic before in my life."

Mason caught his breath. His eyes filled with wonder. "She liked it?" He  sounded so hopeful and yet uncertain, so I punched him in the arm.

"Liked it? Hell, no, she didn't like it. She freaking loved it. And FYI,  Lowe, you have immaculate taste in jewelry. I mean, holy God, who knew  you'd pick out such a beautiful ring? I'm seriously impressed."

He grinned so hard his entire face lit up. "Really?"

"Yes. So dig that bad boy out and make it official already, will you? That, I know for certain, will make my Ree Ree happy."

Mason nodded. "Okay." He started to turn away as if to follow my  instructions that very moment, but then he paused. "Wait. I can't. I  still haven't planned the perfect proposal. I keep thinking I need to  take her to a fancy restaurant and somehow have the waiter bring it out  with her food, or-"

"Don't you dare be so cliché. This is Reese we're talking about. She'd  prefer something simple, yet private, just between the two you. Maybe a  picnic-oh, hey. She loves that park across the street as much as I do.  There's this big-ass tree by the lake. You could spread a blanket out  under it, feed a couple of the ducks, eat a romantic little snack, and  then, you know . . . do your thing."

Biting his lip, he seemed to consider my suggestion. "I don't know how to ask, though."

"Oh, whatever." I shoved his arm right where I'd just punched it. "Every  time I've ever heard you tell her you loved her, you've always spit out  some big, flowery speech that would put a romance novel hero to shame.  Just start talking, and the words will come. I promise you."

"But I want it to be perfect."

I sighed. "Reese doesn't want perfect. The poor, confused girl wants you. So . . . give her you."

He mentally debated a moment longer. The guy looked positively thrilled  by the idea, yet utterly frightened by it. It made my own stomach  flutter with anticipation. I was about to shove him again and demand,  "Just do it already," when he nodded.

"Okay. I'm going to do it."

I almost peed I was so excited. But the anxiety in his gray eyes made me wary. "Tonight," I ordered.

"Yeah," he said. "Tonight."

I about hugged him, but that would've been way awkward because the last  time I'd tried to touch him, I'd reached for his junk to show Reese he  was a cheating bastard just like every other dick out there. But he  hadn't been a cheating bastard; he'd knocked my hand away, and Reese had  turned on me as if I was the backstabbing whore of the century. Not  wanting to relive any of those memories, I cleared my throat and ran my  fingers through my hair, glad when Reese entered the kitchen.

"So what're we doing for supper?" she asked, completely clueless as to what Mason and I had just discussed.

Mason jumped because his back was to the doorway and he hadn't seen her  enter. When he whirled toward her looking as guilty as spit, I snorted.  Time for me to set the wheels in motion before he blew it.

"You two are driving me crazy," I said, taking control. "Both of you  have been moping around the house all week, and it's enough already. I'm  officially kicking you out for the evening. I'd leave myself, but . . .  I hate walking too far in this condition, ergo, you guys have to go.  I'll pack you a picnic supper, but you better not come back until you're  both freaking approachable again. Got it?"

Reese lifted her eyebrows and sent me a withering stare. "Wow. I'm so  sorry our drama is messing with your life, E. Let me just get right on-"

"Sweet Pea." Mason stepped toward her and swept an arm around her waist, making her look up at him in surprise.

As her startled blue eyes grew wider, he forced a tense smile. "Let's  just . . . let's listen to her and go out for a couple hours, anyway.  Just the two of us."         

     



 

She started nodding immediately, but it took her a few seconds for her to say, "O . . . Okay. Yeah, that sounds good."

"Great." His smile was slow and devastating enough to make Reese visibly melt. I swear the girl almost let out a dreamy smile.

Then he kissed her forehead and released her. "I'm going to grab my . . . my hat from the bedroom. Be right back."

As soon as he was gone, a grinning Reese whirled to me. "Did you just  see that?" she demanded and began bouncing on her toes. "He touched me.  Ohmigod, Eva. I think he's starting to come around again."

I had to turn away before I spilled the entire surprise, but I was so  happy for my best friend. I couldn't wait to see her face when she and  Mason returned from their picnic. "So, what kind of food do you want?" I  asked, already opening the refrigerator and yanking out deli meat.  Sandwiches sounded like a nice light meal for the simple kind of  proposal Reese would prefer.

She tried to assist me in packing the supper, but she was so eager to  get going and too busy jabbering about what might've cheered Mason up  that she mostly just followed me around as I bagged up some fruit and  veggies along with some of her favorite chocolate chip cookies.

When Mason returned to the kitchen, he slid a hand into his pocket and  leaned a shoulder against the doorframe. I noticed he'd totally  forgotten to put on a hat as he said he was going to do, but Reese  didn't. She just smiled adoringly.