Bastard’s Baby(46)
“Where should I go?”
“Actually, Lucas’s wife was looking for you.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“She said you had met already, asked me to send you to her room when you’re ready.”
“Oh,” I said, completely shocked and mystified. “This is a really weird morning.”
He laughed. “Yeah. No fucking shit.”
“Well, you’re sure you’re okay?”
“Fine. Just go. I’ll call Sonya if I need help.”
“Okay.” I stood up, staring at the two of them. Vince laughed and Alexei squirmed, smiling up at him. “Okay,” I said again. “Have fun I guess.”
Vince grunted at me, and I turned and walked toward the door. I put my hand on the knob, my stomach a knot of uncertainty.
This was what I wanted. So why did it feel so strange?
I turned the knob and left the room, letting the door shut behind me.
I had just left my son alone with his father, his gangster, killer father who yesterday said he wanted nothing to do with Alexei, and who now suddenly wanted to babysit. It was a pretty intense one-eighty turn, but I couldn’t pretend like I wasn’t happy about it.
I took a deep breath. Alexei was going to be just fine. Vince would call Sonya if something went wrong.
I began to walk down the hall, hoping he’d call her anyway. Just in case.
* * *
I found the door to Nat’s room standing open. “Hello?” I called out as I went inside.
“Come in.”
I saw Nat standing in the kitchen.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey yourself. Wine?”
I walked over to her and laughed. “Sure, okay.”
She poured me a little glass of white wine. “One good thing about being around Italians,” she said, “is the wine.”
“I’m so glad I’m not pregnant anymore.”
Nat laughed. “Right? You can’t do any fun things.”
“I still can’t, not really. I have to be careful how much coffee I drink. Shouldn’t have too much alcohol either. It’ll get into the breast milk.”
Nat nodded. “Men don’t understand. They can drink whatever they want.”
“Vince is far away from understanding,” I said. “Although he’s watching Alexei right now.”
Nat raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I don’t know why, but I guess he saw something that made him want to spend time with Alex.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“I really don’t know,” I said honestly.
Nat leaned up against the counter. “What do you think about him?”
“Can I be honest?”
“Of course.”
“He’s an arrogant asshole.”
Nat laughed, nodding. “Sounds about right.”
“But I love being around him. He makes me feel something I’ve never felt before.”
“Yeah,” Nat said softly. “I know just what you mean.”
“He told me just recently that he has no interest in being a father to Alexei.”
“And now he’s babysitting?”
I nodded. “The man is all over the place.”
“Give him time. He’ll come around.”
“Why do you think that?”
“Vince had a hard life,” she said. “He didn’t have a father, and he probably thinks he doesn’t know how to be one.”
“I didn’t realize that.”
“The mob was his family. He doesn’t think you can be a good member of the mob and still raise a family.”
“But you guys are doing it.”
She smiled and nodded. “Vince can be blind to certain things sometimes.”
“It’s just so frustrating. I never wanted any of this. I didn’t come here to trap Vince into being a father.”
“I know that.”
“But now I feel like just being around him is making him feel that way.”
“Maybe,” Nat said. “But again, is that so bad?”
“No, I guess not,” I said, shaking my head.
“Look, can I offer some advice?”
“Of course.”
“I think you need to figure out what you want. You’re clearly torn about Vince, and for good reason. But he’s trying, and if you want him around, you’re going to have to accept that.”
“He is who he is,” I said.
“Exactly.” She smiled, sipping her drink.
“Where are your kids, by the way?”
“With Sonya.”
“Must be nice to have a break.”
She smiled and shrugged. “Sometimes. And sometimes I miss them as soon as they’re gone. It’s strange.”
“Yeah. I know the feeling.”