Bastard(69)

“No,” I lie. My dad cocks an eyebrow. I try to act like I’m unaffected, but I get the impression he can see straight through my facade. I divert my eyes and take another bite of my sandwich.

“Five years have passed, Pumpkin,” he says tightening his grip on my hand. “Maybe it’s time to let all that hurt and anger go. He may have been a little misguided in his thinking, but he did what he thought was best.” Does he think I haven’t tried to let this go? Tried to forget him? I know he had his reasons for leaving. I get that. In my eyes though, the way he went about it was wrong. The fact that I haven’t heard a word from him in five years cuts me to the core. I’m not sure if I can get past that.

“Can we change the subject, Daddy? I don’t want to talk about Carter Reynolds.”

“Fair enough. Let’s talk about the funeral then.” He gives me a weak smile before continuing. “I know how you feel about John, Indi,” he says. “I feel the same way. In saying that though, I think we should attend the funeral. For Elizabeth and Carter’s sake. As a sign of respect to them.” I roll my eyes. Going to that cocksucker’s funeral is the last thing I want to do.

“Fine,” I sigh. I don’t like that idea one bit, but I’ll go for Elizabeth’s sake. Nothing else. She’s a sweet lady. I’ll never understand what she saw in that jackass, but he was her husband, so I guess she’ll need all the support she can get.



I’ve managed to evade Carter for the past two days. My emotions are still all over the place since seeing him again. I’ve spent the last two nights at Mark’s house which is something I rarely do, but it was the only way I could avoid running into him.

Thankfully, work’s been flat out, so during the day I haven’t had time to think about anything else. To think about him. The guy that crushed my heart.

Today is Mr. Shepard’s funeral, so avoiding him isn’t going to be an option. That’s if Carter even attends. I know how he felt about his stepfather. We share a loathing for him. I’m pretty sure he’ll be there for his mother though. It’s the only reason my dad and I are going.

“You look lovely, Pumpkin,” my father says smiling when I walk into the kitchen. For funeral attire, I suppose I look okay. I’m wearing a knee-length, black fitted pencil skirt, a short sleeve black silk blouse and black heels. My long, dark hair is pulled into a tight bun on the top of my head.

“Thanks, Dad. You look nice, too,” I reply as I walk towards him and plant a soft kiss on his cheek. He looks handsome in his black suit. I’m sure he has a lot of lady admirers. I understand how much he loved my mum, but I wish he could let go of the past. It’s been sixteen years since her death. It’s time he started to live again.

I’m concerned about him going today. I hope it doesn’t bring up memories of my mum’s funeral. Things are still hard for him. Well, the fact that he continues to lock himself away those two days every year, tells me they are.

There’s a black car parked in next door’s driveway when we leave. I feel sick in the stomach on the drive to the crematorium. Not about the funeral, but about seeing Carter. I feel like a fraud going to the funeral of someone I hate. I’ll never be able to find it in my heart to forgive him for what he did. Never.

Once we park the car, dad and I head over to the chapel. We mill around outside with the others. All of ten people I might add. I guess being the world’s biggest prick meant he didn’t have many friends.

My dad makes small talk with the two men standing beside us, while I try and calm the inner turmoil raging within me about seeing Carter. I overhear one of the men tell my father he’s Mr. Shepard’s brother. I’m not usually judgemental, but I’m immediately sceptical of him. After all, they’re related. The other man says he’s one of Mr. Shepard’s employees. It makes me wonder if any of the people here were actually his friends. People like him don’t have friends I guess. Just enemies.

My stomach’s doing flip-flops when the funeral car arrives. I presume Carter and his mother are in the black car that pulls up behind it. It was the one that I saw parked in their driveway before we left. My hands are trembling so I wrap them around my middle. The driver gets out of the car and makes his way towards the back door. I try not to look when he opens it, but my damn eyes aren’t doing what they’re told.

Carter gets out of the car first. I swear I stop breathing as soon as I see him. He’s dressed in a black suit. He looks so different. So grown up. So damn hot. For some reason it makes my heart ache. I’ve never seen him in anything other than casual attire. He is absolutely breathtaking. No other words could describe how good he looks. Seventeen year old Carter was a sight, but an adult Carter … no words.