“How are you feeling?” I ask, helping her when she tries to sit up.
“Okay.” That’s what she always says, even when I know damn well she isn’t.
“You didn’t eat your sandwich.”
“I wasn’t hungry,” she replies shrugging her shoulders.
“You’ve gotta eat, babe,” I say in a pleading tone as I tuck some loose strands of hair behind her ear. “You barely touched your breakfast.” I pick up the plate off the bedside table and unwrap the sandwich.
“Can you take a bite for me, please? It would make me happy.” She gives me a genuine smile when I say that.
“Okay. If it will make you happy,” she answers, opening her mouth when I hold the food out in front of her. I watch as she slowly chews. I can tell she’s really struggling. It brings a lump to my throat. I pick up the bottle of water, unscrewing the lid.
“Here, have a drink.” She raises her hand to take it from me and I notice she’s shaking. She’s been doing a lot of that lately. She’s probably got low blood sugars from the lack of food. “Let me,” I offer as I move it towards her mouth. Seeing her lips wrap around the bottle, doesn’t even make my dick stir.
We haven’t been intimate for over two weeks. She’s asked, no practically begged, but I can’t do it. Don’t get me wrong. I want to. I want to more than anything. I fucking miss that connection with her. But, she’s so weak … so fragile. Not only does she need to conserve her energy just to do menial things, like get around, I’m scared I’m gonna break her, or hurt her. I can’t risk that at the moment.
We’ll get back there. I have every confidence. The day I can sink my cock into that heavenly pussy of hers again, is gonna be one sweet day I can tell you. But for now, the most important thing is seeing her well again.
“How about I go to the fish market after work and get some of those fresh prawns you love? I can make you a nice prawn salad for dinner.” My hopefully eyes search hers. I’m becoming desperate. I’ve noticed she can’t really seem to stomach the stir-fries I’ve been making. Anything too saucy seems to make her nausea intensify.
“Sounds great,” she answers reaching for my hand and giving it a weak squeeze. I know my client is waiting downstairs, but he’s gonna have to wait. My girl comes first. I sit on the side of the bed until I get half the sandwich into her, and most of the water. When she tells me she’s had enough, I lay her back down and tuck the sheets up around her neck. “I’ll be back in about an hour.” I gently place my lips against hers. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” she replies smiling. “Thanks for taking such good care of me.”
“You don’t have to thank me. I want to take care of you.” I pick her phone up off the bedside table and place it on the pillow by her head. “Call me if you need anything in the meantime.”
“Okay.” I bend down and place a soft kiss on her forehead.
“Look after our girl while I’m gone, boy,” I tell LJ, ruffling his fur before I turn and leave.
We leave early Monday morning to be back in Sydney in time for Indi’s next session of radiation. Sunday’s have quickly become my favourite day. Not only do I get to spend the entire day with her, but it’s the one day of the week that she’s closest to being her old self and well enough to leave the house. Those few days rest from the radiation really seem to make a difference.
Last night I even rugged her up and carried her across the road to the beach. She tried to fight me, insisting she could walk, but I wouldn’t hear of it. We ended up compromising on a piggyback instead. It’s amazing how many stars you can see in the sky at night when you live close to the ocean. I’d never really noticed until I went back to Sydney and looked up at the sky. I guess the pollution from the city doesn’t help.
I wanted her to experience it, so I laid a blanket on the sand and took an extra one to place over her so she was warm. Her immune system is so low right now. She can’t afford to get sick.
We laid on the soft sand for hours, wrapped in each other’s arms, looking up at the sky talking and laughing and even making out occasionally. It was just like old times.
Although the making out part was wonderful, it wasn’t a great idea. The longer I go without having her, the harder I’m finding it to deny myself. She practically begged me to make love to her under the stars. Saying no was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
She was clearly upset by my knockback. Doesn’t she realise how hard this is for me? How much I want her? I hate denying her of anything, so I eventually relented and slipped my hand down the front of her pants and brought her undone with my fingers.