Bastard(102)
It may just be the difference between living and dying. My mum waited years before getting her diagnosis. Thanks to Carter, I only waited weeks. I at least have a fighting chance of kicking this tumour’s arse. Sadly, my mum didn’t have that luxury.
It’s made me think a lot about everything she went through. I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t upset me. I hate that she waited so long to see someone, despite my father’s pleas. If she hadn’t, there’s a good chance I may not have had to grow up without a mother. My dad may not have had to live without his soulmate.
My poor dad. I’m gonna fight this motherfucking tumour with everything I have. I refuse to let this be the end for me. I refuse to bring more heartache to him. This would destroy him, I know it. After mum passed, having me to care for was the only thing that gave him the will to carry on. To keep existing.
After I shower, I make my way into the kitchen to find him sitting at the table drinking coffee. Carter was right: he does look like death warmed up. “Morning, Daddy,” I say in a chirpy voice. Today I’m feeling optimistic. The tears I shed last night will be my final ones. I refuse to shed anymore. Positive thinking from this day forward. No matter what the MRI shows, I’m going to live every day to the fullest. I refuse to live like I’m dead while I’m still alive.
“Morning, Pumpkin. How are you feeling this morning?”
“A lot better than you by the looks of it,” I reply as I walk towards him, wrapping my arms around his neck from behind and kissing his cheek. He clears his throat, a slight red tinge appearing on his handsome face.
“I’m happy to hear that,” he says. “I’m sorry about the way I acted yesterday …” Removing my arms, I take a seat next to him.
“You have nothing to be sorry about. I understand how hard this is for you. I’m sorry that you have to go through this again. We’re going to beat this, Daddy. I promise.” I reach for his hand and grasp it in mine. “Okay?” Meeting my gaze, he smiles.
“Okay.” Squeezing his hand, I rise. No more talk of tumours today.
“Now, what would you like for breakfast? Carter and Elizabeth will be here soon. The four of us are going out for the day.”
“Some toast will be fine, Pumpkin,” he says smiling. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes, but at least he’s trying.
We end up driving to the Blue Mountains. It’s just over an hour’s drive from where we live. Apparently, this is the area where Carter grew up. It’s a beautiful place. I understand why he said wear something warm. It gets pretty cold up here. In winter it’s not uncommon to see snow.
Parking the car when we arrive at Katoomba, we all get out. Dad offered to drive today. Carter’s car is only a two-door, so getting in and out of the back seat can be a pain in the arse. Dad and Elizabeth sat in the front. Carter and I were in the back. He reached for my hand before we even got out of our street, and he held it all the way here. I love the feel of my hand wrapped in his.
My dad walks around the front of the car and helps Elizabeth out, while Carter gets out on his side and offers me his hand. I grab my woollen beanie and scarf off the seat beside me before sliding over. Carter takes the scarf out of my hand and wraps it around my neck, while I place the beanie on my head.
“You look so cute,” he says tugging on my scarf and pulling me forward, placing a tiny kiss on my nose. Have I mentioned how much I love this side of him? He can say and do the sweetest things sometimes. Lacing his fingers through mine, we walk towards the lookout to see the large rock formation known as the Three Sisters, and the breathtaking Jamison Valley below.
Carter explained the large sandstone rock eroded away over time creating the three tall rock formations that sit side by side, towering over the beautiful valley. Aboriginal legend says, that three sisters who fell in love with three men from a neighbouring tribe, causing a war to break out, were turned into stone becoming trapped forever. Hence the name.
Even though he grew up in the area, I’m surprised by his knowledge. When I asked him about it, he confessed he came here a few times on school excursions when he was a boy.
I can’t believe how vast and beautiful this place is. I’ve always known of its existence, but sadly have never visited until now. After zipping up my coat, I wrap my arms around myself. The icy wind has a real bite to it.
“Are you cold?” Carter asks draping his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into him. I smile to myself.
Once we’ve looked around up top, Carter suggests we ride the Scenic Railway down the cliffside to the valley below. Apparently, it’s a really steep drop, so Elizabeth ops out. My dad offers to take her for a coffee in the café, so Carter and I can still go.