“I love you too, baby girl,” he says leaning down to kiss the top of her head before letting her go. She takes a step back and looks over at me.
“Thanks for coming today, Carter. It meant a lot to me.”
“Don’t sweat it,” I reply, the corners of my mouth turning up briefly. My heart feels so heavy. “I’ll be with you every step of the way.” And I will be, whether she wants that or not. She smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. For a split second she almost looks like she’s going to cry, but she recovers quickly. It makes me wonder. Maybe she’s not faring as well as she’s making out. I can’t blame her. I’m not sure I would be, if I was in her predicament.
I continue to sit at the kitchen table with Ross while he drinks himself into oblivion. To be honest I feel like doing the same, but I don’t. What good is that going to do? It’s not going to fix anything. Instead, I choose to be his rock. The one he’s been for me for the past five years.
The hours pass and Indiana doesn’t re-emerge from her room. Everything in me wants to go to her. To make sure she’s alright. “I can’t go through this again,” Ross says suddenly, his voice cracking. He buries his face in his hands, and I can tell he’s on the verge of a breakdown. I feel for him, I do, but he needs to pull himself together. His daughter needs all the support she can get right now.
“Look at me, Ross.” He raises his head and his glassy eyes meet mine. “You can, and you will. She’s your daughter. It sucks, I know, but you’ve gotta get your shit together, mate. She needs you.”
“I know … I know,” he says shaking his head. I’ve never seen him like this before. “She’s my baby girl. She’s all I’ve got.” He looks up at me, his eyes brimming with tears. “I don’t think I could go on if I lost her too.”
I get up from my chair and make my way around to his side of the table. He’s had enough to drink. “Come on,” I say placing my hands under his arms and helping him up. He stumbles, but finds his feet. “I think you need to lie down.”
“Maybe you’re right,” he slurs. “I’m glad you’re back, son. You’re just what my girl needs.” His words make me smile. I love that he thinks I’m good enough for her, even though I still have my doubts if I am. I guide him towards his bedroom before laying him down on the bed. As I remove his shoes and pull the blanket over him, he closes his eyes.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I tell him as I turn to leave.
“Carter.”
“Yeah.” I stop, looking at him over my shoulder. His eyes remain closed.
“I love you like you were one of my own,” he mumbles. I feel the corners of my mouth turn up. I can’t tell you what it means to hear him say that. I stand there briefly watching him. He’s the closest thing to a father I’ve got. Before I get a chance to reply, he lets out a loud snore. I shake my head and chuckle. Fuck me if I don’t love him too.
I gently close his bedroom door as I leave. As I head down the hall towards the front door, I stop. I feel compelled to check on Indi before I go. Turning, I head back down the hall towards her room. I raise my hand to knock, but I pull back. If she’s asleep, I don’t want to wake her. She needs her rest.
Reaching for the handle I quietly open the door, trying not to make a noise. I’ll look in on her then leave. I smile when I see her lying on her bed, her back to me. What I wouldn’t give to be beside her right now. As I turn to leave, I hear a sniffle. Is she crying? I see her hand come up to wipe her face. Fuck, she is.
“Indi,” I say as I take a step towards her bed. She turns her head and looks at me over her shoulder. Her eyes are red and puffy. She looks so sad. It breaks my fucking heart. I don’t hesitate. Kicking off my shoes, I climb into the bed beside her. No words are spoken as I pull her towards me and wrap her in my arms. She slides her arm around my waist, crying softly into my chest. Tears rise to my eyes as I tighten my hold. The enormity of today and what lies ahead, finally hits home.
It makes me hate myself even more. Why couldn’t I have had my shit together all those years ago? We’ve waisted so much time. One thing is for sure. I’ll be beside her every step of the way from now on. I’ll cherish every second of our time together. However long that may be.
Losing her to this isn’t an option I ever want to face.
I open my eyes to find sunshine flooding the room. At first I’m disorientated. I’m wrapped in warmth. My gaze moves down to find Indi sound asleep on my chest. It brings an instant smile to my face. Christ she’s beautiful. Her long dark lashes are splayed against her cheeks. Her sexy-as-fuck plump lips just itching to be kissed. Her leg is thrown over mine, pinning me to the bed. Her arm is still draped around my waist.