Barely Breathing (The Breathing #2)(155)

       
         
       
        

"Don't be sorry," he soothed, pulling me into him. "I know this is hard. We don't have to stay."

I took a breath. "It's okay. We're almost done."

Evan kissed the top of my head before releasing me. "We'll be fast, alright?"

I nodded.

Evan handed me a box, and I started taking down the pictures on the board and placing them and the other items from my desk into it while he finished packing the clothes from the closet.

It was uncomfortably quiet as we rushed to gather my things. I tried to shut everything off as I finished with the box, not wanting to feel anything. But I couldn't. I couldn't release the fire that burned in my chest every time I heard her voice asking if I was leaving―like I was the one abandoning her.

"Emma, you're shaking," Evan noticed, taking a hold of my hand.

"Sorry. She got to me," I grimaced with my face scrunched.

"Maybe we should just go."

"Everything's pretty much packed anyway," I agreed, taking a look around.

Evan slung the duffle bag over his shoulder and picked up the box I'd packed. "I'll just come back in to get the last box." He nodded toward the one containing my sweatshirts and the pictures of my father I'd hidden beneath them.

In my final scan of the room I noticed something was missing, my heart skipping a beat.

"Are you coming?" Evan asked as he opened the door.

"I'll be down in a minute," I told him, searching desperately. "I want to look around one more time."

"I'll be right back," he stressed, his way of telling me not to leave the room without him.

I carefully knelt down and peered under the bureau and then the bed. Then I picked up the comforter that was on the floor. The framed picture of me and my father that had been on my bureau was gone. There was no reason anyone would want that picture, except for her. The one thing she thought I had left of my father, and she took it.

An angered blaze engulfed my entire body. My heart pounded so hard, it was difficult to breathe.

I didn't wait for Evan. And I didn't walk out the door to his car. I sought her out in the kitchen where she sat at the table, slicing a tomato while listening to the radio.

"Do you want to stay for dinner?" she asked with a warm smile when I appeared in the doorway.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I snapped vehemently.

"Excuse me?" she asked in shock. "I thought you might want to stay for dinner. I thought we could talk."

"About what?" I shot back. "How much you don't want me? How much you miss my father and how you blame me for his death? Or the fact that your drug dealer beat the shit out of us because you have serious issues? Yeah, that's great dinner conversation. I think I'll pass." 

"Why are you acting like this?" she questioned quietly, standing up and walking to the counter.

"Are you serious?" I gawked incredulously. "Are you that delusional?"

She picked up a prescription bottle, emptied a few pills into her hand and tossed them in the back of her throat, rinsing them with a glass of water.

"Oh, or maybe you're just high," I accused spitefully.

"What? It's medicine for my wrist," she defended. "But why should you care? You're leaving me. You don't care about me." Her voice was broken. A slight twinge panged in my chest. There was a time when I hurt to see her this upset, and would've done anything to console her. Not now. As quickly as the empathy surfaced, it was swallowed up.

"No, I don't care about you. Just like you don't care about me," I fumed, my voice cold and inhuman. "You can take the entire bottle. I don't give a fuck."

"I don't understand what's wrong with you?" she shook her head, tears seeping down her cheeks. "I'll try harder. Don't leave me alone. Please, Emily. I'm so sorry."

"No you're not," I screamed, making her flinch. I lowered my voice again, and each word shot at her with lethal precision. "The only thing you're sorry about is that I was ever born. Or don't you remember telling me that in one of your drunken stupors? You conveniently forget how much you hurt me over and over again. And I'm stupid enough to keep letting you. Well, I'm done.

"You never wanted me, and I never wanted this life. So as far as you're concerned, I am dead. And you won't ever see me again."

Rachel sank to the floor sobbing inconsolably. I turned my back to her.

Fury pulsed through my veins, blinding me. I almost ran into Evan who stood frozen with the screen door open, silently watching. He avoided my eyes, forcing my shoulders to slump in disgrace.