"I'm going to Parsons."
"New York?" I uttered as my mouth dropped. The disappointment left me speechless. I'd never been without Sara since I met her, and being so far away from her for college was impossible to wrap my head around. I didn't respond for a moment, needing to get over the blow. Then I took a step back and released the part that was about me.
Parsons was closer to her family... and Jared. And it was one of the best fashion design schools in the world. She watched me carefully, waiting for my full reaction. I finally looked up at her with tears in my eyes and a proud smile on my face. "I'm going to miss you. But Sara, I'm so happy for you." The worry disappeared, replaced by a stunning smile that lit up her eyes.
"Really?" she confirmed, walking around the bed. "You're not mad?"
"Mad? I'm not going to lie. I'm sad we won't be together, but I want this for you. Parsons is amazing, and you deserve to go there."
Sara sat next to me and gave me a hug. It surprised me at first, but I wrapped my arms around her and held her with my face buried in her hair. She squeezed me tight, not making a move to release me. A tear escaped down my cheek as I kept holding on, almost afraid to let go. I couldn't imagine my life without her.
Her voice heavy with emotion, she murmured in my ear, "I'm coming out to California for the summer, until school starts." We slowly separated. Her eyes glistened with tears. "We'll see each other every break. And I'll email you and text and Skype everyday; it'll be like I'm there with you. And you'll have Evan, so you won't be alone."
I grinned at her assurances. "I know. We're always going to be friends."
"No. We're always going to be sisters." Sara smiled and wiped away the tears that moistened her cheeks.
"Besides, there's so much to look forward to in the next two months," she expressed jubilantly, trying to laugh away the sadness. "We have prom, senior week, graduation. Emma, I know right now it sucks for you, but everything's going to get better―especially now that you're moving back in with me. I know it doesn't feel like it, but you'll get through this―you always do. And you may even enjoy the last couple months of your senior year."
I nodded, running my hand along my damp cheeks with my lips pressed into a smile. A mixture of emotions fueled the tears. I'd lost my mother (again). And now Sara … She truly was my sister in every way, and I was so proud of her. Everything was changing so fast. I hoped it wasn't going to change too much.
"That was quick," Sara noted when I returned from speaking with Evan, after anxiously awaiting his call all day. I sat down next to her at the kitchen table.
"He just wanted to say hi before it got too late," I explained quietly, using the tongs to lift the fettuccine out of the bowl and set the small mound on my plate. "They were on their way out to surf, so the guys were waiting for him."
"He's still a little off, isn't he?"
"A little," I admitted, poking at the pasta with my fork―not even considering taking a bite.
"He'll be back in a few days," Sara encouraged. "I'm sure it's hard over the phone. It will be different in person."
"I hope so," I sighed, playing back the awkward strain in our conversation as we searched for anything positive to say. There wasn't much to talk about until he heard what I hadn't told him over the past couple of months. The missing conversations separated us further than the distance between Connecticut and Hawaii.
"What should we do tonight?" Sara asked, trying to distract me.
"Don't you have to get up early to go to the airport?"
"We can make it an early night and just watch a movie," she suggested. "Besides, you could use the sleep." She smirked teasingly. There was no denying the repercussions of sleep deprivation, especially with Sara. She just had to look at me to know how long it had been since I'd slept―and it had been awhile. With the buildup of drama and anxiety, sleep was a turbid mirage.
"Are you going to be okay staying here by yourself?"
"I was thinking about asking Casey if I could stay with her since we have soccer together," I told her. "Evan's back Saturday, so it would only be for two nights."
"That won't be bad," Sara mused. Then she grinned wickedly and added, "You seem pretty positive that you're staying over at his house on Saturday night. You're not all that worried he'll forgive you, are you?"
I shrugged sheepishly. "I'm hoping I can convince him."
"Oooh, Emma," she chuckled. "I have rubbed off on you."
"Sara," I gaped, "I'm not going to seduce him so he'll forgive me. Besides we're not having sex until next month."