Barely Breathing (The Breathing #2)(12)

That did it. That sent me over the edge. I collapsed in the pillows and cried until I felt a hand brush against my back and I raised my head in surprise. Anna was kneeling next to me, her eyes glassy as she offered me a comforting smile. She noticed the picture in my hand and settled in next to me.

"They look happy," she noted, gently tucking my hair behind my ear. "That's all you ever wanted for them, right?"

It became clear to me that Sara had confided in her mother after everything that happened last May. How could she not? Anna would have insisted on knowing why Sara never came to her, probably feeling betrayed and hurt. So, of course Sara had to tell her that I'd stayed to protect Leyla and Jack from being taken from their parents. Well …  at least they still had one of their parents.

"Yes," I choked, my voice hoarse.

"It was nice that he sent that to you," she continued to console. "It means the kids still really love you."

I knew she was trying to take away my pain, but thinking of them missing me tightened my chest, and hot tears flowed freely. Anna pulled me into her arms and hugged me tightly, and I let her without tensing. I inhaled her warm floral fragrance with each gasp of air and allowed myself to miss them.

Once I had control over the pain and was quiet again, Anna released me. I sat up, wiping my wet cheeks.

"I understand why you want to move in with you mother," Anna finally said. "And I want more than anything for the two of you to find the connection you've missed out on over the years. But if for any reason it doesn't work, this is your home first, and we'll always do what's best for you. We're not going to say anything to the social worker, since that will open a whole realm of paperwork that isn't necessary and you'll be eighteen soon. We'll just let her continue to do her periodic check-ins by phone. Okay?" 

I nodded, unable to find my voice.

Anna hesitated before adding, "I love you, Emma. We all do. And I am very serious when I say that we will do anything for you; you only need to ask. Do you understand?"

My breath faltered with her emotional declaration, and I replied, "I understand. Thank you."

Anna's mouth spread into the smile that Sara inherited, lighting up her kind blue eyes, instantly changing the seriousness of the moment with, "Let's get some ice cream."

I couldn't help but smile in return, and allowed her to help me up from the heap of pillows to follow her down the stairs to the kitchen.

~~~~~

"Is that everything?" Carl asked, examining the backpack and two duffle bags in the back of Anna's SUV.

"I don't own much," I stated.

Anna and Sara got in the car while I turned to Carl. "Thank you for everything."

"It's been great having you here, Emma," he returned, and without notice, wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest. "I'll keep in touch with Stanford for you, but I'm sure you'll be over before I know it." Then he released me and walked to the house without looking back. I remained still, not quite prepared for the departing hug.

"Ready?" Sara hollered from the open car window.

"Sure," I answered, heading toward my car.

When I pulled out of the driveway, I glanced up one more time at the large house with a twinge of sadness. Although I never completely felt like I belonged there, I certainly felt safe, which was something I hadn't experienced very often in my life.





4. "Home"



I tried to pay attention to the roads we turned down as I followed behind Anna in my Honda, knowing I'd need to find my way to Sara's on my own eventually. At least now I'd finally be able to drive the car that Carl had helped me pick out a few months ago, after I finally got my license. There wasn't any need to drive when Sara and Evan chauffeured me every day. But now I was going to be responsible for getting myself to school.

It took about twenty minutes for us to reach the outskirts of Weslyn where my mother was renting a house. We veered down an interwoven maze of streets that wrapped around each other within the disorganized neighborhood. Unlike Sara's neighborhood, all lined up neat in a grid of large homes, this swirling road map had much smaller houses. Kids ran from one snow covered yard into another, since most of the properties overlapped their neighbors' without a bordering fence.

Anna pulled into the driveway of a house at the tail end of the maze. With only one neighbor, it was isolated on the dead end, across from the stark woods that surrounded the neighborhood. I pulled up along the curb so Anna could back out when she left.

The small yellow two-story house was quaint, with white shutters framing the windows and a weathered white porch welcoming us to enter. The front door opened, and my mother appeared, propping the screen door open with her hip. She waited for us to each grab a bag with her arms crossed, shivering from the winter air.