Sara squeezed my arm at the sight of her. I was beginning to get the impression that Analise got to Sara more than she got to me―if that was possible.
"Do you mean she told you about it, too?" Sara asked Analise, not hiding her detestation.
"Yeah," Analise replied unaffected. "She said it fits like twenty people or something. I guess Jill's parents have parties all of the time."
"That's what I heard," Sara nodded. Then she mumbled, "Let's hope they put extra chlorine in it."
I eyed her in confusion as Evan chuckled and said, "Nice, Sara. That's pretty gross."
I scrunched my face in disgust. Sara rolled her eyes at me for taking so long to understand what she was insinuating.
"Don't you dare try to get out of it," Sara threatened. "If I'm going in, so are you."
"Great," I groaned, completely disturbed by the thought of what had potentially gone on in the hot tub.
Kyle arrived with a keg and some guys from college. I moved away from the crowd of people rushing toward the free beer, so I had no idea who came in with him. I was pretty certain that if Drew was one of them, I'd know soon enough.
I tried to be social, truly I did. But I kept looking at my phone to see if my mother had called or texted me. I wanted to ask where she was or even how she was, but I was afraid it would seem like I was checking up on her. Well, I was checking up on her.
"Let's get our suits," Sara suggested, returning from refilling her glass with some red drink Jill had concocted.
"Where's Evan?" Sara asked as we made our way to Jill's room.
"Not sure," I answered. "He went to get a drink and then to get his shorts, I think. I guess he'll find us."
Sara knocked on the door. "Who is it?"
"Jill, open the door. It's Sara and Emma."
The door opened cautiously with a pair of eyes peeking through the crack. Sara rolled her eyes and pushed the door open, making the girl behind it stumble backwards. There were several girls in the room, adjusting their bathing suits and double checking their appearances in the mirror. Sara grabbed her suit and began changing, not caring who saw her. I waited my turn for the bathroom. I had never been comfortable changing in front of anyone―even after years of being on sports teams and having girls change in front of me without a care. I usually had too much to think about, like where my bruises were and who would see them. Now, I supposed it was just a habit that I couldn't quite break.
Before I left the bathroom, I examined my back one final time to make sure the scarred striations were barely visible. There were only a few of them where the belt had cut deep enough to leave a scar, but they were still there―even after a year. I convinced myself it would be too dark to see them, and besides, I'd be in the water.
I emerged wearing a white bikini top with orange polka dots and shorts covering the striped bottoms. I secured my hair high on my head to keep it from getting wet and folded a towel over my arm.
I wanted to ask Sara if the marks were noticeable, but I didn't want to draw attention to them. Instead, I pulled a tank top on until we were in the dark. I followed as we were led out a sliding door onto a private deck. The deck wrapped around the back of the house where the hot tub was letting off billows of steam into the cool April night. It had rained most of the day so the wood was wet and cold under my feet. I didn't have the numbing power of alcohol to make me oblivious to the cold like most of the girls.
There were already four or five people in the hot tub. I noticed Evan was one of them, and next to him was Analise. The predictability of that was nauseating. Worse than that, sitting next to her was Drew. I stopped abruptly. One of the giggling girls behind me bumped against my shoulder.
"Sorry," she said as she passed.
"Oh, shit," Sara breathed from beside me. "Where did he come from?"
Evan caught my eye and smiled, then saw my face and shrugged dismissively. If he could get over it, especially after getting into a fight with Drew last year, then I could too. The tightness in my stomach indicated otherwise.
I stripped off the shorts and tank top and slipped into the water. The heat of the water instantly warding off the goosebumps that erupted while walking across the cold deck in my bikini.
I waded across to the other side and slid next to Evan. He draped his arm behind me. The water foamed and bubbled up over my chest as I sank into it, relaxed by its warmth.
"I like the suit," Evan leaned over and said into my ear. I grinned.