And because I do not trust myself, I turn and walk away.
Chapter Three
TIFFANY
Well…that went over like a lead balloon.
I watch as Salukh stalks away, heading back to the tribal cave. I’m a little surprised at his reaction, because I thought we were friends. I trust Salukh more than anyone else in the tribe, because he’s been so darn nice to me. He’s easy to be around, undemanding, and always ready to help with one of my craft projects, no matter how weird. He doesn’t pressure like Vaza, or cling like Taushen. He doesn’t insist that I choose a mate, like Hassen.
I like Salukh.
Maybe that’s why his reaction being something other than “whee, yes, let’s go make out” hurts my feelings. Asking him felt safe. Unburdening my worries to him felt…good. Now I just feel like a jerk. I made him uncomfortable, and I worry I’ve lost our friendship. Now how am I going to live in the same cave as the guy and see him every day and know what happened between us?
Way to go, Tiff. You just made a bad situation even worse.
I put my digging tools back in the bag and clean my hands with snow. I kind of thought Salukh might take me up on things. The guy stripped down to dig holes for me and I have to admit, even though I try not to think about the sa-khui in a sexual way, I was certainly noticing the way his shoulders moved and the way the sweat trickled down his slate-blue abdomen. The way his hair moved like a black curtain when he bent over. I noticed the sweep of his large horns and the way his leggings hugged thick, muscular thighs. I sure noticed his eyes and the elegant strength of his heavy brow. He’s damn good looking – all of the sa-khui are – but there’s an intensity to Salukh that calls to me. He looks like the type that doesn’t do anything halfway.
Oh well. I guess I can’t dwell on the fact that he’s rejected me. It stings, but maybe it’s for the best. Maybe ‘conquering’ my fears isn’t the right answer at the moment. I’ll let them sit for a while longer and hopefully, with more time, the nightmares will slow and I can entertain the thought of someone touching me without losing my cool.
Time heals all wounds and all that. Come on time, I’m ready for you.
I clean up around the little area I’ve designated as my ‘field’ and then head back in to the caves. There’s so much to be done. I have furs soaking in my tanning cave like Kashrem showed me. There’s food to be prepped and clothing to be sewn and I want to try my wool-carding again if there’s enough light left at the end of the day. Work is good. Work keeps my brain busy and I don’t stop to think about other things.
The moment I get inside, though, my temper starts to fray. There on the doorstep of my cave is a fresh kill. Two hoppers. Someone’s gone hunting on my behalf. Probably Hassen. I mentioned once that I liked the way the little hoppers had such tender meat, and now I seem to get them daily. Ugh. And because it’s meat, I feel like I can’t waste it. I pick up the small, rat-like creatures by their tufted tails and bring them in to prepare. Maybe Josie will want some stew. She’s not in the cave, which means she’s probably helping Kira and her new baby. I sit down and pull up my favorite skinning rock and start to prepare the critters for eating.
“Ti-fa-ni?” A voice calls from the front of the cave.
I cringe mentally. “Yes?”
“I dug some of the roots that you like.” Taushen hovers in the doorway, and I mentally curse myself for not putting up the privacy screen. He holds them out to me like trophies. “Shall I clean and cook them for you?”
I give him a polite smile. He’s young and hasn’t been around a lot of single girls. I keep reminding myself of that. “Thank you, Taushen, but I’m good on roots.”
His expression sinks, and then brightens a moment later. “Shall I help you clean those?”
“I’m good, truly.” I gesture out at the central cave with my small bone knife. “Maybe see if Kira wants them? She has a new kit and would probably love for someone to bring her some food.” Come to think of it, I’ll probably just bring the stew I’m going to make to her cave. I still have left-over food from yesterday’s meals.
Taushen looks disappointed. “You do not want them?”
If I take them, he’ll be encouraged. Then again, I have Hassen’s kills here, so what’s a few more roots? “Sure, go ahead and give them to me.”
He surges forward and hands me the roots. Instead of leaving after I thank him, he sits down next to me and hovers, watching me skin the tiny hoppers. I grit my teeth.
“Tafnee?” Vaza’s voice bellows through the cavern, alerting me and everyone in the area of his intentions. “Come and see the fine dvisti Bek and I have hunted for you.”