Barbarian's Prize(45)

I stare at her dreamy face, envious of her confidence. She assumes that the khui is going to fix all of her problems. That it’ll match her up with the perfect man and she’ll immediately be in love with the guy that puts a baby in her. It’s romantic, sure, but it’s also overly optimistic. What if it matches her up to one of the elders who never mated? What if it matches her to someone she hates?

What if it matches her to someone who decides to take what he wants instead of asking for permission?

I shudder at the thought. I’m envious of Josie. Her decision might be right for her, but I’m still living in fear of what might happen if I do resonate. Sure, I might be hooked up with the man of my dreams…but I might also be hooked up with a pure nightmare.

Right now, I’m just happy I haven’t resonated to anyone. There’s no one I want to mate.

Even as I think it, though, my mind goes back to Salukh. Salukh with his velvety skin, intense gaze, and the way he touches me so sweetly, never demanding. He lets me take the lead and is infinitely patient. He makes me feel like every touch is a gift that I’ve given to him.

I’m lying to myself when I say I wouldn’t want to resonate to anyone. I’d take Salukh and I’d take him gladly. If he can help me get over my fear of sex, he can help me learn to love again. He’s kind and generous and looks at me as if I’m a slice of chocolate cake he can’t wait to eat up.

I just worry I messed things up and when we get back, his hot, possessive stare will have changed to one of distaste.

Maybe I missed my chance with him. The thought is a depressing one.





Chapter Thirteen





SALUKH



I watch in the distance as Taushen hurries off, leaving the two human women alone and vulnerable at the base of the cliff. Anger surges through me and I push it away.

They are not unprotected; I am here to watch them.

It’s a foolish move for Taushen to make, and yet I understand it. He is eager to win over the humans with fresh game, and is torn between guarding them and providing for them. Still, it is not the choice I would have made, and it angers me to see Tee-fah-nee’s small form huddled in the shadows of the rock. A snowcat could wander in this direction. A herd of dvisti might cross the plains and trample them. A scythe-beak might decide to swoop down and investigate, and their beaks are like swords. Just because it looks safe does not mean it is.

I clutch my spear close. It is a good thing I ignored Aehako’s command to go hunting and followed them instead. I am hunched low on my belly in the snow, downwind from Taushen’s trail. They will not see me unless they look up, and judging from the tired posture of the humans, that is not a worry.

Tee-fah-nee’s hair springs forth as she lowers her hood, and I can see her movements as she talks to Josie. She looks tired, and it takes every bit of control in my body to not clamber down the side of the cliff and go to her side, to swing her over my shoulder and carry her all the way to the Elders’ Cave.

Is this how Vektal felt when he first saw his Georgie? Then I remind myself that he and Georgie resonated, and my heart is heavy with sadness.

Why do you not claim her, my khui? You know she is the one for us.

My breast is silent, and my heart remains heavy and alone.

I stay at my watch post, unmoving, as the women relax and stretch their legs, talking. Eventually Taushen returns with a fresh kill, and I relax a little. The women eat, and then they put back on their snowshoes and the trio head off into the snow again. As I watch, Tee-fah-nee stumbles and I leap to my feet, my heart racing.

They stop. Taushen and Josie both go back to Tee-fah-nee’s side. My female picks herself up off the snow, pushes away their helpful hands, and adjusts her snowshoe. Then they begin to walk again.

She limps, though, and I fight a surge of irritation that Taushen would push her so hard that she would harm herself.

She should be pampered. She should be carried if her leg hurts her.

She should be mine.





TIFFANY



Rolling my ankle makes an already un-fun trip even more miserable. Josie and Taushen are both worried about me, but I shrug off their concerns. I tell them that I’m fine. What option do I have otherwise? We’re too far from the South caves to go back, and we might as well continue forward. So I soldier on, ignoring the pain in my ankle as much as I can.

We stop that night in one of the small ‘hunter’ caves and it’s eye-opening to me. Taushen explains to Josie and I that these small caves are all along the tribe’s hunting grounds and are used as shelters for those out on the trails. The cave we stop in is small, barely tall enough for either Josie or I to stand up in; Taushen has to squat. There’s enough room for all three of us to lie down, but barely. Taushen ends up putting his furs by the cave opening so Josie and I can have the interior. My ankle throbs and it’s cold despite the small fire we start. All in all, it’s not a fun night and it makes me appreciate the tribe cave even more with its big interior and the friendly faces that are always present.