I can’t even find it in me to be embarrassed. I think of his big, lean blue body and the way his skin felt against mine. Yeah. “I do like him,” I admit softly.
“So bring him in and snuggle with him for a good night’s sleep,” she tells me with a yawn. “I don’t care. I just worry about you. It’s not good to hold on to the past.”
Says Josie. The woman who never thinks of anything but her happy ever after.
She settles back into her blankets and eventually falls back off to sleep. I stay awake a while longer, thinking about Salukh and our interlude at the cave earlier. It’s strange, but I’m looking forward to what the next day will bring.
Maybe tomorrow will be the day that we can really, truly kiss.
• • •
Bright and early that morning, I wake up and take care of Chompy, switching out the old, dirty leathers that act as puppy pads, feeding him another bottle, and then cuddling him for a bit. When Farli wakes up, she takes over for me, and I’m a little chagrined to see that my own pet acts far more delighted to see her than me. I can’t blame the little guy – she spends every waking moment with him and I just show up for feeding times.
I head over to the main fire to eat. Kira’s there, cooking. Aehako’s back from one of his trips, and he’s seated there, baby Kae in his lap. He cuddles and coos at the fat, smiling baby, his own face wreathed in grins. It’s clear that Kae got her sunny personality from her father, because Kira is more solemn than anyone I’ve met. They make a cute family, though, and I ignore the wistful pang of jealousy I feel. I’m happy for Kira and her happiness. I sit next to them and help myself to one of the root-cakes that Kira’s cooking on a hot stone plate.
“We’re sending two more over to the main caves,” Aehako says as I nibble on my hot breakfast. He sticks his nose in the baby’s face and laughs when Kae grabs ahold of his nose ridges.
“That’s nice.”
Aehako glances over at me. “Do you wish to go? I can send you and Josie. I’d like to keep more of the hunters here to support the rest of us since it might be a few more moons before we all migrate over.”
I freeze. My appetite dies and I force myself to take another bite of root-cake. Go back to the main cave? I’ll be free of my four annoying suitors but…Salukh won’t be there. And for the first time in a long, long time, I feel like I’m making a breakthrough. Spending time with him has been cathartic. I’ve had feelings waking up that I thought were long dead. “I…think I’d like to stay.”
“Ah. For your games?” He winks at me. “Do you favor any of the suitors in particular?”
Oh God, he thinks it’s because I like all the attention? Ugh. “They are all equal in my eyes.” Because I don’t want any of them.
He nods and when Kae throws a chubby baby fist toward his face, he pretends to bite it. “I’ll send two of the elders, then.”
“Any word on when Harlow’s going to have the stonecutter fixed?”
“I have heard nothing. If we get more signs that this will be a truly brutal season, then we will go over anyhow. It is better to starve together than separately.”
“Jeez.” My stomach’s in knots but I force myself to eat my root-cake after hearing that. “Think it will be bad?”
“Watch your little dvisti-friend,” he tells me. “It will grow a darker coat if the snows will be terrible.”
I’ll have to pay attention.
“Tef-i-nee,” a voice booms. “It is good to see your lovely face this morning!” Hassen approaches the fire, spear in hand. He puts one big foot on one of the sitting rocks and thrusts his chest out. He’s a good looking man, but gazing at him, all I can think of is Salukh with his intense eyes and the way he strokes my back.
“Hi, Hassen,” I try to keep my tone warm and feign a cheeriness I don’t feel.
“I am only two seeds behind Taushen,” he tells me boldly. “Do you have a task I can do to gain more of your favor?”
Eep. “I’m leaving it all in Josie’s hands.” I give him a bright smile to make up for my noncommittal words. “She has no bias so I trust her.”
“Bye-hass?” He frowns at the unfamiliar word.
“She does not lean one way or another,” I correct.
“Ah.” He leans in and there’s a gleam in his eyes. “Shall I hunt you something to eat? Even if I cannot persuade you, I can feed you.”
I notice Kira stills, her hands freezing over the root-cakes. Then she collects herself and puts another down on the hot rocks.