I will never take unless Tee-fah-nee gives.
“You still think I am perfect after all this?” She looks up at me, and tears slide down her lovely cheeks. I long to brush them away, but my hands remain at my sides.
I nod. How could I ever think less of her? How can she think that? “Nothing will ever change my mind. You are strong simply for trying. You are perfect just as you are.”
Her face crumples and she flings herself forward into my lap again, her arms going around my neck. Her head burrows against my neck and she sobs bitterly against me.
And I let her.
This has all gone terribly wrong. I was so eager for this, but now I feel nothing but regret. My poor Tee-fah-nee. She has worried she has disappointed me, and all I feel is anger for those that touched her without permission, who gave her these mental wounds that I cannot bring to the healer. So she cries, and I let her cling to me like a baby metlak. I am careful not to touch her, because I don’t want to set her off again. Her weeping makes my chest ache. I wish I could fix this for her.
Her hands dig into my hair and she wets my neck with her tears. Her boots dig into my legs but I do not move, because I do not want to scare her. She could pull a knife out and shove it into my gut and I would flex a single muscle. I am hers to abuse in this moment.
I am hers entirely.
Tee-fah-nee’s sobs die down to soft hiccups, and she still burrows against me. I feel her fragile body shiver against mine, and my hands twitch with the need to hold her and comfort her. “May I touch you?” I ask, my voice low and husky. “Just to comfort?”
I feel her nod against my shoulder.
Gently, I slide a hand to the center of her back. She stiffens against me, but when I make no further moves, she relaxes little by little. Her body leans into mine again, and I simply hold her. It is a pleasure simply to touch her even as this, to feel her warmth against mine. I did not realize how much I hunger for her until this moment. Not being near her is like starvation to my spirit.
When her shuddering slows, I move my hand up and down her back, stroking it as I would a kit. I held my little sister Farli when she was nothing but a tiny, squalling kit. I know how to comfort with a gentle touch, though I would do so much more for Tee-fah-nee if she would let me. My hand glides up and down her back, lightly rubbing. You are safe, I tell her without words. No one shall ever hurt you again.
Eventually, her tears stop wetting my shoulder. She gives a little sigh and I feel her cheek press against my skin. “I’m sorry, Salukh.”
“There is nothing to be sorry for, sweet one.” I stroke her back slowly, my movements even and easy to keep her from panicking. For the moment, it is pleasure enough that she lets me touch her. “Your fear will fade with time. I am a patient male and content to wait.”
She gives a small, hiccupy laugh. “Most guys wouldn’t say something like that.”
“Most are fools.” I am happy with where I am. She has ceased her heartbreaking weeping, her body is warm against mine, and if I angle my head, I can take in the scent of her hair. Truly, I feel as if I am the luckiest male alive to even have this opportunity.
Tee-fah-nee just sighs again and makes no move to get up. I am content to hold her, and when her breathing evens out, I realize she’s fallen into an exhausted slumber on my chest. She has worn herself out with her worry and her tears.
And even though today has not turned out as I wished, I am pleased that my future mate feels comfortable enough in my presence to fall asleep. It is something. Not much, but something.
TIFFANY
Warmth surrounds me. The blanket I lie on feels soft against my cheek, but it’s lumpy and hard underneath. I don’t want to move, though, because I feel protected for the first time since landing on this planet. Strange that a big warm blanket will do that for me. I keep my eyes closed even as I shift, determined to slide back into delicious sleep.
Except I can feel something hard between my spread legs.
Then, I remember where I am. I’m not in my nest of furs in the cave I share with Josie. I’m in a tiny anonymous cave away from the others, and I’m straddling Salukh.
Correction: I’m straddling Salukh after I cried all over him when he touched me.
God, I’m such an asshole.
I feel terrible. Well, sort of. I also feel really loose and relaxed, and I don’t want to get up. I still feel protected and his big hand is on my back, slowly rubbing. I don’t know how long I’ve been out, but it’s the first good sleep I’ve had in a while. There were no dreams. Zero. I’m so relieved.
I’m so sitting right on top of his boner.
“Should I get up?” I ask him. It’s hard for me not to notice his hard-on when I’m straddling it.