“There’s more than kissing, of course. There’s touching. And caressing.” She bites her lip and shudders. “I…need practice with all of that.”
Her face is averted but I can tell from the hunch of her shoulders that she has gone to a bad place. My entire body tenses with the need to comfort her, but I know my touch is not welcome. This here, with her cringing, is my greatest concern – what if Tee-fah-nee loathes my touch because others have taken from her? The idea destroys me.
“I am still deciding,” I bark at her and storm out of the cave. I must leave before she becomes more frightened, or my need to hold her and comfort her becomes overwhelming.
I do not know what to do. I need advice. Aehako is off on a hunting trail, and many of the other males have never had a mate. There is Hemalo, but he does not make his mate Asha happy. He is not the one to ask for advice.
There is one that springs to mind, though.
• • •
SALUKH
When I wake up the next morning, Taushen is bragging to Haeden. “I have won two of the red seeds so far and no one else has won a single one.” He shoves them proudly under the surly hunter’s face. “I will have my time alone with Ti-fa-ni and then she will resonate to me!”
I roll out of my furs, irritated. I’m still irritated after I relieve my bladder outside and grab a bite of yesterday’s smoked meat for a meal. I should go out hunting. Get some game. Clear my head of my worries about Tee-fah-nee and the men who endlessly chase her. It does not matter if they chase her. She will resonate to me. She will be my mate and all of their silly seeds will matter not at all.
I return to the cave to retrieve my spear and see Taushen is grabbing his nets. He grins at me. “I am off to catch the biggest kes-fish in the river! Wish me luck so I might bring home a third seed.”
I narrow my eyes. I do not want him to have luck. But he is in high spirits and ignores my silence, heading off to meet the others for their day’s competition.
Haeden looks over at me and his lip curls. “You do not join their game to win favor from the females?”
I shake my head. “I am busy.”
“Your hands are idle,” he says, tightening a spear-head with a bit of leather and then getting to his feet. “There are many to feed and more every day. We have no time for the entire cave to sit about and mope over whether or not the females like them.”
Is that what I am doing? I eye Haeden as he straps on his boots. He and I think alike: courting is nothing, because resonance is all that matters. But I have been offered an incredible temptation, and I do not know if I am strong enough to hold out for my khui to catch up to my heart. “What do you hunt today?” I ask him. I will join Haeden and discuss my problem with him. Haeden has felt the pull of resonance. He has had a female in the past. He has much knowledge. “Snow cat? Quillbeast?”
“Dvisti.”
I grimace. “So many dvisti.” I think of Tee-fah-nee’s words. She likes the animals and would not be pleased to hear of me hunting them.
“Much meat. Little effort.” He straightens. “Are you coming?”
I nod and get my own spears. He’s right. There are many mouths to feed and with so many pregnant females, all of the hunters feel the urgency to fill the stores and ready for the next brutal season. This last one wiped out all of the stored food and with this upcoming turn of the weather, there will be more young than ever. No one must go hungry. Dvisti must be hunted, no matter how beautiful Tee-fah-nee feels about it. She is practical. She will understand.
Haeden and I set out from the caves and cross into the next valley before we catch sight of a trail. Dvisti leave a distinctive hoof print in the snow, and they are easy to follow. Haeden is silent, communicating with a nod and a pointed finger where we should go. I let him lead, my head still full of thoughts of Tee-fah-nee and the men who wish to claim her. If I join their challenges, what then? What if another wins over me through luck? I am more skilled in the hunt than Taushen, but Hassen is a very capable tracker and strong. Vaza has much knowledge because he is elder. And Bek? Bek is so stubborn he is like a fang-face that will latch onto something with his teeth and never give up.
The thought of competing with my tribe for Tee-fah-nee irritates me. I am full of irritation this day. The hunt will be good.
We find a nearby herd and close in. The wind changes as we circle wide, and the dvisti get nervous at our scent. Haeden gives me a frustrated look, as if this is somehow my fault. When we close in, they scatter and my spear lands wide of its mark. Haeden’s brings down a fat dvisti and the rest of the herd flees over the next hill.