Barbarian’s Mate(8)

I hate that he’s not wrong. I storm away to find where my bestie is moving in, unnerved and aroused.



* * *



I sleep like shit that night.

It’s not that Tiffany and Salukh are super noisy in their bed play. I mean, they are, but I’m used to that. It’s like the entire tribal cave is awash with horny, humping couples and their babies. And the blankets I’m nestled in are comfy enough. The cave is roomy and I don’t have to rub elbows with anyone else as I sleep. I’ve even got a nice fluffy pillow, courtesy of Megan.

But I still can’t sleep.

I think about Haeden and his terrible story. He wants me to be his mate, his second chance at a family. If it were anyone else, I’d feel sorry for the tragedy they’d endured…but it’s Haeden. I can either make him happy and be miserable, or I can look out for myself.

But if I get my own khui removed, he’s going to relive his nightmare of losing another mate.

I toss and turn, unable to find an answer. My body isn’t helpful, either. Every time I hear a moan carried on the air or the soft slap of bodies coming together, my hand steals between my legs and I press, hard. It’s not helping. I’m achy and throbbing with resonance, and it sucks. I’ve never been one to crave sex - all of my experiences with it haven’t been fun in the slightest - but right now? I’d give anything for a guy to throw me down and make sweet love to me for hours.

Well, any guy but Haeden, that is.

I wake up early and tiptoe past where a sleeping Tiff and Salukh are twined together in their furs. I can hear people in the main cave and I head in that direction, looking for food and company and above all, a distraction. Maybe someone will have their baby with them and I can get in a little cuddle time.

I move down the twisting passage of the cave addition. The old part of the tribal cave was smooth and built like a doughnut, complete with the hole in the ceiling for ventilation and a hot spring pool at the center. The caves were spaced along the walls and Harlow had theorized that the elders had used rock cutters of some kind to set up their home. The new passage that had been opened up was a lot rougher, with a narrow path leading to the main portion of the cave. Everyone’s thrilled that we can all be together again and no one minds if their new cave has a stalactite or two and a rough wall instead of a smooth one, because the addition of more caves opened up means that each family gets their own place instead of doubling up.

I arrive in the main cave and see a male crouching by the big central fire pit, stoking the flames. Farli’s by the cave entrance with Chompy to take him for his morning walk, and she’s chatting with one of the hunters. Near the fire, Stacy’s leaning over it, her baby on her back, papoose-style. Over at the pool of water in the center of the cave, one of the hunters is bathing, his back to me. Nearby, Megan relaxes in the water, her big belly sticking out. Behind her, her mate has a comb and is brushing her hair for her. She looks as if she’s ready to pop, and I head over to say hello.

As I do, the hunter turns and pushes his big body out of the water, and I see that it’s Haeden.

Eeep.

I watch, transfixed, as he braces strong arms on the lip of the pool and hauls himself out of the water. There’s nothing but acres and acres of taut blue buns and a lashing tail before my eyes, and I’m half-worried and half-hoping he’ll turn around and I’ll get some full frontal action. The sa-khui live in close quarters and they’re not shy about their bodies. The bathing pool is in the center of the main portion of the cave and everyone uses it without a qualm to what they’re showing. When the humans first arrived, they were a bit more modest about things until we adjusted, but now, a year and a half in, and well, let’s just say I’ve seen more sausage than I would at a meat market. Not that I normally have a problem with this.

But today? Today it’s a problem…because when Haeden turns around and starts to dry his hair with a soft hide, I can’t stop staring at him like I’ve never seen dick before.

This is the first time I’ve ever seen Haeden naked and, well, he’s packing some serious heat. All of the sa-khui are equipped in a rather impressive way, but I think Haeden has the thickest dick I’ve ever seen. It’s rather magnificently broad, his balls heavy underneath the length of him that rests against his thigh. The sight of his substantial dick makes me ache deep in my belly, and my khui starts its needy thrumming. Haeden’s must be starting to thrum, too, because he looks up and our gazes meet.

And I feel oddly vulnerable, standing there, gawking at his naked bod. My mind wars with my body’s need to touch him. My hands itch with the need to brush over his skin and feel the velvet texture against the pads of my fingertips. Images of touching him all over move through my mind, and I have to fight the urge to rush over to him and tackle him to the cave floor.

This isn’t what I want.

I want a mate that loves me, not someone that can barely tolerate me. I can’t bring a baby into this world in any other way, no matter how badly I want to be a mother.

Legs stiff, I force myself to walk over to the pool and sit down. I smile, even though my mind is raging with thoughts of Haeden and not the couple in front of me. “Hi Megan, Cashol.”





5





HAEDEN


Jo-see’s stubbornness is infuriating. I watch as she settles in next to Cashol and his mate, ignoring the fact that I am present. I know she saw me - I watched her gaze move over my body with a hungry look. I know she’s as affected by the resonance as I am.

Stubborn female. Why does she insist on trying to fix things that cannot be changed? I would not have chosen Jo-see for my mate, and yet now it is clear to me that there is no one for me but her. The khui has decided, there is no more arguing to be done.

My chest sings an angry song of need, and I rub a hand over my breast, willing it to calm. My cock aches at her nearness, but I won’t approach her. She will have to come to me and tell me she is ready, and I must be patient, no matter how long it takes. Eventually, the resonance will become so strong she will be unable to resist its call. I must simply wait the endless nights and days until then.

And until then, I cannot linger in the cave.

I return to my cave – empty and lonely without her annoying presence – and dress quickly, then tie my hair back in a knot to keep it out of my face. I grab my spears and my sling. If I cannot slake the thirst of my body with my mate, I will put my energy toward hunting and feeding the tribe. The brutal season will be here in a few turns of the moon, and my mate’s belly will be full with my child and will need taking care of.

The image of Jo-see’s slight body, full with my child, fills me with a fierce pleasure and craving…and utter terror. She is fragile. What if she cannot carry my kit? What if the reason she has not resonated until now was that her khui was not strong enough? I grip my spear tightly and resist the urge to rush back to Jo-see’s side and push food into her small hand. She does not like my attention.

But I picture her as my mate again, curled in my furs, her belly round. My cock nearly spills in my loincloth and I lean heavily on my spear.

Never have I wanted anything as badly as this.

I must be patient. I must wait for her to acknowledge me as her mate.

Until then, I must remain busy.



* * *



I hunt with a ferocity that surprises all of the tribe.

Grim with the need to exhaust my body, I leave at dawn every morning and bring a sled, and when I return each night, it is full of fresh meat for the growing tribe. There are young, tender dvisti fawns, the hardier mothers with the thick hides that are so useful. There are delicate scythe-beaks with the feathers that the humans prize for their pillows. There are quill-beasts and two-fangs and snowcats, fish of all kinds, hoppers, and I even grab the sweet, reedy hraku plants that the human women are so fond of. All creatures land in my traps or fall prey to my spears. The other hunters marvel at my dedication.

I say nothing. The only reason I work myself as brutally as I do is because of the small human who holds my future in her hands.

Every night, I return to the cave exhausted in body. I return to my empty furs and feel the echo of my empty, empty cave around me. It fills me with a hollow ache to know that my mate would rather sleep in another’s cave than be in my presence.

She is not like Zalah, I tell myself. Be patient. Give her time.

So I do. I stroke my cock until I come, and it fills me with less satisfaction each and every time. My khui’s song is an angry protest at my self-pleasure, but Jo-see is nowhere to be found and my body craves release. When I fall to sleep, I dream of her and our kit. On good nights, the dreams are happy. On bad nights, I dream that they die and are lost to me.

As time goes on, there are more bad nights than good.

So I hunt even more. I stay out of the caves later every day, until the twin moons are high in the night sky. I would leave for several days if it would help, but I must be near her. My khui will not accept any less. I must see her, even if only to watch her turn away from me.

I cannot eat. I cannot sleep. And as the days crawl past, I hope that something will change, soon.



* * *



Weeks Later



“You look like a sick hopper on its last legs,” Aehako teases me one morning as I sharpen my spear.

I glare at him, not welcoming the company. “You should find your mate and chatter in her ear, not mine.”