Barbarian Alien(71)
Kira turns around and looks over at me with concern. “You okay?”
“Fine. Just twisted my ankle a little.” When she moves toward me to help me up, I point off to the side. “I’m good. Can you get my basket?”
She nods and trots over to get it, and I stay down, pretending to rub my ankle. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Aehako jog forward (no mean feat given all the snow) and bends down at my side.
“Help me up?” I say, offering him my left hand.
When he takes it, I immediately grab the knife sheathed at his waist with my right hand.
He reaches for it, but not fast enough. I have the knife, and then I point it at his groin. “Don’t move,” I say.
The alien’s big brows go up, and he looks more amused than afraid. “What are you going to do with that?”
“I’m taking you hostage,” I say and get to my feet. I move to his back and press the tip of the blade where a kidney is on a human. No clue where it is on a sa-khui but the intent remains the same.
“Hostage?” he repeats.
“Yup. If that’s what it takes to get someone exiled from this group, you’re my hostage. Hands in the air, buddy.”
Aehako laughs but does as I say, and when Kira comes up the hillside, she has both baskets and a fierce frown on her face.
“What are you doing, Liz?”
“Hostage situation,” I say cheerfully. “I need you to go back to the caves and tell everyone my conditions of release.”
• • •
“What if a man wishes to court a human woman?” Aehako asks, tracing obscene shapes in the snow with his tail. He’s lying on his side, bored.
“Kiss her silly.” I’m sitting cross-legged next to him and we’re both scanning the horizon. After Kira left, Aehako took his knife back but agreed to stay ‘captive’ for my sake. So we’d sat and started talking.
And like any guy, Aehako wanted to know about humans. Which was how we got on the topic of courting and sex. “She doesn’t want kisses.”
No? Crazy Kira. “Then you give her gifts.”
He considers this. “What kind of gifts? Something I make with my hands?”
Since I’m still in shit-stirring mode, I think of the thing that might embarrass Kira the most. “Human men give the woman they want to mate a very special gift.”
“Oh?” He sits up taller.
I nod authoritatively. “A replica of his penis made out of leather or wood, or bone. So she can try him out and see if she likes what he brings to the table.” You’re welcome, Kira.
Instead of looking shocked, Aehako ponders this. “I do have a nice cock.”
“I’m sure.” I’m pretty sure I don’t want to see, either.
“And a large spur. Very large. Do I include that as well?” He looks over at me. “In my replica?”
“Hmm. That’s a good question. Humans don’t have spurs.”
This shocks him. “No spur? Why not?”
“Dude, like I know? I didn’t take ‘comparative anatomy’ in college, and I’m pretty sure we can’t compare the spur to anything else. What purpose does it serve?”
He thinks for a minute and then shrugs. “What purpose do balls serve?”
Is he for real? “They create semen.”
Aehako looks surprised. “Truly? But how–” He pauses and then points off into the horizon. “They’re coming.”
“Finally,” I say, getting to my feet. I’m kinda glad we’re getting off of the whole ‘sex ed’ topic because I only know human anatomy. Kira can finish this conversation with him. “I should probably take the knife back if we’re going to do this captive thing right.”
He gets it out and hands it to me, handle first. “Try not to cut me.” He pauses. “Unless you think Kira will like to play nursemaid.”
“I sincerely doubt that,” I say, moving behind him and putting the knife in place as the others trail up the ridge. It’s a fairly large group, and I see Kira, along with Vektal, Georgie, and a few other male aliens.
And Vektal has a furious look on his face. I keep my chin lifted and stare him in the eye. I won’t let anyone boss me around anymore. It’s my life, and Raahosh is my mate. They can’t keep him from me anymore, and vice versa.
“You are quite the burr in my tail, Liz,” Vektal says as he approaches. “Is your goal to anger me so greatly that I cast you out? Because it won’t happen. You are a woman and a child-bearer.”
“I’m kidnapping someone,” I say, and gesture with the knife at Aehako’s back. “That’s the punishment for kidnapping, right? Exile? So exile me.”