“Hawk.”
“Interesting.”
Vincent led his wife out of the foyer and into the living room. Cathy kept looking over her shoulder, worried to leave her daughter alone with such a man.
Cara stood in front of Hawk. Fuck, she looks beautiful. I can’t let her go, no matter what she says. I can’t let her go from my life. Cara barely had any makeup on and wore black yoga pants with a white, long-sleeved t-shirt, her clothes molded to every curve of her body. I want to pull her into my arms and kiss her soft lips. I want to crawl all over her. Easy, Hawk, slow down. Don’t scare her. You gotta play it cool. His cock pushed against his jeans. She was the only woman who gave him a hard-on just by looking at him.
“How have you been, Cara?” he asked softly.
“I’m better. Why did you come?” Her eyes were downcast.
“I want to know what’s going on. You haven’t returned any of my calls or texts. You haven’t been at your house or office. It’s like you disappeared from my life. Look at me and tell me what’s going on.”
She raised her eyes to him, bit her lower lip then mumbled, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to leave you hanging. I thought you would’ve moved on by now.” She shrugged, as if that explained everything.
“Moved on? From what? From us?” Hawk stomped his numbing feet “It’s fuckin’ freezing out here. Can I come in?”
Cara moved aside and let Hawk in. “Follow me.”
Hawk followed her to a large room enclosed in glass windows on two sides. The other side had a fireplace with a log burning brightly, and overstuffed chairs and couches, along with floor-to-ceiling bookcases, made up the sun room. Hawk imagined Cara, as a child, sitting and reading her favorite books there. The room suited her, and her bungalow had a lot of the same coziness.
“Hawk, I can’t do this anymore. I need normalcy in my life, not shoot-outs with rival clubs, wild parties, and all the other chaos that goes with your world.”
Hawk paused before he spoke, choosing his words carefully. “Cara, I’m sorry about Eric. I’m sure this is hard for you, but don’t blame me and the club for the stuff he did.”
“I can’t do it anymore, that’s all,” she whispered.
“That isn’t all. Fuck, do you know what hell I’ve been through this last month? I didn’t know what the shit was going on. Did you even care or think about me?” Hawk paced around the room.
“I shouldn’t have done that to you. I am sorry.”
“Sorry doesn’t quite cut it, Cara. You ran out on me when things got tough. I was there for you. I always had your back, but you couldn’t trust me enough. Fuck!”
“I needed time away from everything.”
“I get that. I gave you space and time with your parents, but what about me? Why did you push me out?”
“Your world is too violent for me. I have enough crap in my practice. I don’t want to have it during my time off.”
“What did the Insurgents do? We got the fuckin’ Nomads shut down, we got the women they smuggled to a safe environment, and we stopped that asshole, Viper.”
Cara shuddered when she heard Viper’s name. “I know. And I also know I was responsible for being there that night. You told me to stay at the clubhouse, and I didn’t. It’s just that everything is so muddled. I’m just so confused.”
Hawk rubbed his hands over his face. “Confused about what? Dammit, talk to me!”
“About everything! About Eric, you and me, my life, all of it.”
“Okay, I don’t know why Eric did what he did, but you and I are separate from all that.”
“I know you’re just having a good time with me, but I guess now I realize I don’t want that anymore.”
“Is that what you think? After all we’ve had, how can you say that? You’re the only woman I’ve let into my heart and my life. You don’t even fuckin’ know what you do to me. Babe, I think about you all the time. You’re in my soul. I’ve never felt this way about another woman. I love you, Cara. I want you to always be in my life. I can’t lose you.” Hawk reached out, drew her in his arms, and held her close. Stiff at first, she relaxed as he stroked her back.
“I’m so twisted inside. I know Eric did horrible things to those women. He destroyed their lives and the lives of the ones who loved them. For God’s sake, he threw the women out like pieces of garbage! I hate him for what he did, but I still love him. I don’t know how to reconcile this, I just don’t.” Cara’s voice cracked as a sob escaped from her.
Hawk held her trembling body closer to his and kissed the top of her forehead. “Babe, sometimes life fuckin’ sucks. You can’t figure out all the answers because sometimes there aren’t any.”