Banger’s Ride(154)
“Good. You want to know about me? I’ll tell you in one sentence. My life and my family began when I walked into the Insurgents’ clubhouse. End of story.”
“You’re not getting off that easily, Hawk.” She smiled.
He loved hearing her say his name. Fuck, I’m pathetic.
“Let’s talk a while, okay?” she said. Hawk nodded, urging her to continue. “I know you’re the Insurgents’ VP. Do you do anything besides MC stuff?”
“I do all the computer-related stuff for the club. I also own a bike repair shop. I repair and customize motorcycles, mostly Harleys, and I own a dispensary, but that’s just between you and me.”
“I wouldn’t have pegged you for a geek,” she teased. “Where did you pick up the computer stuff?”
“I studied all that at UCLA, and even received my degree in computer science.”
“You went to college?”
“Don’t sound so incredulous. We aren’t all stupid and ignorant.”
“No, I mean, I just didn’t take you for a university-type of guy. I mean, it’s cool.”
“Babe, don’t patronize me. I went on the G.I. bill.”
“You were in the Marines, right? I saw it in the case documents when I ran a background check on you.”
“Reconnaissance, Afghanistan.”
“Tough. How many tours did you do?”
“Four.”
“Wow… Wasn’t it awful?” she asked softly.
“It was fuckin’ brutal, but you do what you need to do and make sure your ass is still alive after you do it.”
“Are you all right? I’m sure you saw a lot of horror during your tours. Is there something you want to talk about? I’m a good listener.”
“I’m fine. It was a goddamn job, I fuckin’ dealt with it, and all that shit is in the past. It’s over. End of story.”
“How did you end up with the Insurgents?”
Hawk took a deep breath and paused for a long while. His eyes had a distant look in them, like he was reaching back to the recesses of his mind and conjuring up long-forgotten memories. He said, “When I was in Afghanistan, I had my troops. We fuckin’ had each other. We were brothers, doin’ everything together: eating, sleeping, scouting, fighting, and killing. Shit, we even pissed side by side. We fuckin’ had each other’s back; there was nothing like it. We were like a family in Hell. I always knew I had my brothers beside me, and when we lost one, we all mourned. It fuckin’ hit us hard, and it sucked.”
Cara looked at him intently.
He cleared his throat. “Anyway, when I got back I was, like… lost.”
“You didn’t have your family?”
He snorted. “What family? You think I was raised in a two-story house with a fuckin’ white picket fence?” He shook his head. “No, baby, I was born in a broken-down trailer near Truckee, California, to a teenage mom and a sonofabitch dad. The only thing my dad knew how to do was use his fists and belts on me and my mom. She fuckin’ escaped the asshole by bailing out one day. She left me alone with him. After he broke a couple of my ribs, the authorities bounced me from one relative to another until there were none left. Foster care was the next step with another fuckin’ bastard who liked the belt, so I split.
“I was thirteen and lived on the streets. This charity lady, Maddie, found me and saved me. I ended up stayin’ with a friend and his mom for a couple of years before I joined up when I was seventeen. His mom pretended I was her son and signed for me.” Hawk’s eyes reflected the pain of a lost childhood.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know the details,” Cara whispered.
He shrugged. “I didn’t give a shit. Hell, I should thank my fuckin’ ol’ man for making me tough.”
“I’m sure it still hurts.”
“Don’t try to fuckin’ analyze me, babe. Shit happens in life. You take it and go with it. I never had a family until I joined the Marines, and when I got out I had no one. In college, I didn’t fit in with the preppy university students.” He paused, looking out the window at the majestic Rocky Mountains. From the corner of his eye, he saw Cara looking at him, her eyes clouded with tenderness. He fought the urge to reach out and caress her cheek and place her head on his chest. All these feelings were messing with him, and he didn’t want any part of it; he didn’t have time to care about this woman. She waited for him to continue, her eyes never leaving his face.
Breaking the silence, Hawk said, “I was in a bar one night, and I had a bit of a goddamn meltdown. ‘Freebird’ was playing on the jukebox and I kept thinking about Rick, my best buddy, who was blown up by a landmine.” He took a gulp of his coffee. “This old dude came up to me. He was wearing a worn leather jacket full of patches, and he put his arm around me. Just like that. I still can’t believe I didn’t fuckin’ smash his face in, but it felt okay, you know? The old man leaned into me and said, ‘Shit, kid, I know what’s goin’ on with you. I was in ’Nam and lost all but two in my platoon. Comin’ back after the fuckin’ shit we all go through isn’t the same, man. That’s why you need a brotherhood. We’re family.’