Bang Gang(7)

"What's going on?" I said. "Is it a pile of shit?"

She shrugged. "It's alright."

"Just alright?"

She nodded. "Just alright."

I met her eyes, but she looked away. "I hated high school. Hated all of  it. You can tell me if something's shit for you, you know that, right?  Maybe I'll get it."

"I'm alright," she said again, but she wasn't. She wasn't alright at all.

I let it go for now, gave her a smile.

"Let's get you home before your nanna sends out a search party."



Nanna has always been Nanna to me, too. Even now. Her eyes lit up for me  as she opened the door to let the girls in, and I had that fucking  sadness again, that horrible pang that rears up in my gut no matter how  many times it happens.

"Kids!" she said, giving them a smile as they raced on by. "There's cake on the rack! Don't gobble it all at once!"

"Alright, Nanna?" I said.

"Oh, Darren," she said, and that was it. Two simple words with one  simple smile. I'd normally have made myself scarce, hopped back into the  truck and taken off before I could think about it too hard, but not  today.

"Alright if I come in?" I said, and she pulled the door wider.

"Yes, yes," she said. "To see Jodie? She's not back yet … "

I shook my head, held up my tool bag. "No," I said. "I'm not here to see Jodie. I'm here to see your washing machine."





Afternoon one of gigolo-gate, and I already felt like a zoo exhibit. The  cafe had been busier than it had all summer - streams of villagers  heading in for coffee, cake and a gawk.

Does she know? Is it true? Is he really whoring his cock out?

I may as well have put a sign up on the counter. One giant YES.

Yes, it's all true. Yes, I fucking know about it. Now eat your bloody  Victoria sponge and stop with the whispering. I'd never say it, of  course. That would never do. Not in my job. Not with two girls to bring  up here. I kept quiet, kept smiling, serving those coffees like this was  just a day like any other day.                       
       
           



       

And then I went home with a scowl on my face, cursing Darren Trent and his easy fucking dick.

The front door opened with a creak, and I stepped into the ambient sound  of the girls bickering over whose turn it was on the laptop. Same old  shit, different day.

Nanna was in the kitchen clearing up crumby plates. My heart softened as  I saw the rack of sultana cupcakes, my favourite since I was a kid.

"You looked tired this morning, love," she said, and squeezed my arm. "Thought I'd make your favourite."

I watched her potter about the kitchen, and she was so much smaller than  she used to be, her slippers shuffling across the tiles. She used to be  so big and strong.

"Aww. Thanks, Nanna." I put her pills on the table and grabbed a seat.  I'd managed two bites by the time the girls were upon me, not with  hellos or questions about my cruddy day. No. I was simply a referee in  their escalating laptop war.

They both set their case out at the same time, competing for volume.

"Ruby's watched YouTube for half an hour already! I want to check my farm!"

"Mia doesn't even have any crops ready yet! She's just being greedy!"

I held my hands up. "How about you give it a rest and come and sit at the table?"

Silence.

"Sit down, please," I said. "Both of you." They pulled up their chairs  and their morose expressions summed up my day completely. "Ruby," I  began. "Did your dad speak to you today?"

She kicked her heels against the chair legs and nodded.

I folded my arms. "And what did he say? Hmm? About your swearing?"

She sighed. "He said don't say bad words because people get all butt …   upset …  People get all upset if you say bad words." She paused. "And then  they all moan."

Not quite how I'd have put it, but I nodded anyway. "They all moan  because it's not nice language, Ruby. You wouldn't see me or Nanna going  into your school, or the cafe, or the shop and saying bad words, would  you? That's not what people do, sweetheart, it's not how people behave."

Contrary blue eyes met mine. "Dad would. Dad went into the shop and told  Mr Evans to shut his stupid bleeping mouth, remember?" She smiled  triumphantly.

Lord help me.

"Yeah, and then your dad had to buy his cigarettes from Allensmore for a  month, remember? Who was butt-upset then, hey?" I brushed cake crumbs  from my top. "I'll tell you who. It was your dad."

She was quiet for a while before she offered out her little finger. "I won't say bad words at school again, Mum. Pinky promise."

It melted my heart as I linked my finger with hers.

I turned to Mia, but she was staring at the table top. "How was your day, poppet?"

She barely shrugged her shoulders. "Alright."

"Just alright?"

"Yeah."

"Want to talk about it?" Ruby's morning revelation was twisting in my  belly. "You can talk about it, Mia, if something's bothering you. You  know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know," she said.

"Are you having problems?"

She shook her head. "The boys on the bus are idiots, that's all." She sighed. "It doesn't matter."

"It does matter. If they're upsetting you then it definitely matters."

"Nah," she insisted. "It's just Tyler Dean and he's a jerk. Everyone knows it." She met my eyes. "I'm alright."

"If you're sure." I finished up my cupcake and reached for a second,  noting with amusement that the stash had already been decimated. Nanna  always cooks twelve, but there were only two left and a smattering of  crumbs for good measure. "You two have done quite a number on Nanna's  cakes." I laughed. "I'd better eat quick before they're all gone."

Nanna came to my side, and her eyes were twinkling. "Oh no, it wasn't  the girls, not this time," she said. She nudged me with her elbow. "It  was Darren. He polished off quite a few of them."

My stomach did a lurch as I stared up at her. "Darren was here? Actually in here?"                       
       
           



       

The anger from earlier bubbled up again. Selfish prick, not giving a toss for anything, causing so much shit for us all.

She nodded. "Brought the girls home nice and early with some chips for tea." She smiled. "He fixed the washing machine for you."

For me. She always adds pointed little extras like that.

I looked over at the pile of washing I'd abandoned on the kitchen floor,  and the stack of whites was definitely smaller. Sure enough, the little  green light was flashing on the machine, load finished. My cheeks  burned at the thought of him going through the underwear pile. I'd had  my tatty grey-white apple-catchers piled up in there, probably even some  period-bloody ones …

The blonde bitch from the garage came into my mind. Her stupid tanned legs, so fucking perfect.

Nanna's smile was sly. "Took him an age, it did. Had the whole thing  apart. He cleaned up after, though." I waited for it. "He's a good one,  your Darren."

"He's not my Darren," I said for the millionth time. And he's not a good one. He's a fucking arsehole. I bit my tongue.

She put a hand on my shoulder. "You know what I mean, love. Figure of speech."

I sighed. "I only mentioned the washing machine to him in passing." Right before I told him I couldn't count on him.

I got up and pulled the washing from the drum, and it was perfect, not a  chewed-up sock in sight. Sure enough, there were my granny pants. The  sight made me cringe.

"He must have come straight round, then. As soon as he could," Nanna pointed out. Like it was needed.

Yes. Yes, he must have.

Our altercation came back into my mind. The way Porsche-bitch had looked  at me, the way he'd looked at me, worried about the girls and without a  toss to give for her or her goodbye.

The way he'd opened the shutters and turfed her out.

And I had so many questions. Not least why? Besides the obvious, of course. Why gangbangs? Why for money?

And how? How the fuck did this even start? How long has it been going on for?

My brain fizzed.

Who with? Who else?

Nanna knew me well. She winked and smiled. "Why don't you pop out for a  bit, love? Get some fresh air? I'll watch Question King with the girls …   they can keep me company awhile … "



I got my coat.



Darren's place is right in the middle of the village - a stuffy little  two-bedroom flat above the fish and chip shop. It used to be our place,  back in the day, before things went tits up and I moved me and the girls  in with Nanna.

I always thought he'd leave when the garage started doing well. Get  somewhere bigger, somewhere where everything wouldn't stink of fish and  chip fat …  But no.