Bang Bang(35)

To a field.

We were staring at a field.

“What do you see?” he asked, not releasing my hand, but running his thumb slowly over my skin, causing goose bumps to erupt across my flesh.

I swallowed and found my voice. “Cows.”

He nodded and kept caressing my hand. Tears stung my eyes as I tried to fight all the emotions swelling within me. My world was changed — altered. It was suddenly so foreign I wasn’t sure where I fit anymore. Before I was trying to survive, get through another day, make who I thought was dead, proud of me.

And now I was facing every single dream I’d ever had head on. But the story hadn’t exactly followed a natural order, then again there was nothing natural about the Abandonato family.

“What do you see?” I finally asked, breaking the silence between us.

“Anything and everything.” Ax sighed. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, his jaw was flexed, but his eyes, they looked… relaxed as if he really was staring at something off in the distance, whatever that something was, it brought him peace, you could just tell. “But most of all.” He turned to face me. “I see you.”

“In a field?” I stepped back; he stepped forward. There was no fighting it, so I stayed put when he finally wrapped his arms around my body and crushed me against his hard chest.

“I see you everywhere,” Ax whispered, his breath tickling my face. “I see you in the fields, in the sky, in a stranger’s laughter. I see you — but most of all — I see us, Ames. I see us holding hands, not a year from now, twenty years from now. I’ve lived my whole life waiting… waiting for the right moment to be with you. You’ve always been my somebody — the person I’d die for, the person I’d live for, the person I look for. It’s always been you. So marriage? It was coming. Fight it all you want, but there is no chance in hell I’m letting you go. Ever. You run, I chase. You cry. I fix. You fight. I take the punches. Try your damndest to push me away, try me, Ames. I wouldn’t blame you if you did, but it would sure save a hell of a lot of energy if you just gave in.”

“You want me to give in?” My heart was beating so fast it was hard to breathe. “Give in to what?”

His smile was breathtaking, all white teeth and full lips. “Me.”

“I don’t like forfeiting.”

“I think of it as more of a win/win. I love you forever and you just love me back… honestly even if you didn’t love me back I still wouldn’t go away. I’m annoying like that. Stay… Ames… stay with me.”

My vision blurred with tears as Ax shifted away from me and dropped to his knees. “Marry me.”

I couldn’t speak.

I wanted to.

Nothing came out of my mouth.

Ax reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out my stuffed lamb, the small ugly thing he’d given me when I was little. My most prized possession.

“A ring—” he held the lamb up. “—would look cheap, next to something you hold so dear.” His voice cracked. “Let me take care of you… Let me love you, Ames. Please… I can’t live without you. I don’t think I’m capable of living through that type of hell again.”

“Are you proposing to me with a stuffed animal?” I laughed as tears streamed down my cheeks.

He flicked a glance at the toy then met my eyes wearing a silly grin. “Yeah.”

“Just checking.” I let out a cross between a laugh and a sob then tackled him to the ground, our mouths collided, the lamb was thrown to the side, no longer as important as it was before — I had the real thing. The giver of my favorite gift. I had Ax.

“I love you so much, Ames.” He kissed my tears away, kissed my eyelids, his warm lips slid over mine, his tongue pushed into my mouth. He increased the pressure of the kiss changing it from urgency to passion, desire, everything I’ve ever wanted in life — from the only man who was ever capable of giving it.

“I love you too,” I said against his lips, not wanting to pull away, for fear he would disappear and this would all be a dream, a weird, blockbuster mafia style dream. “With everything I have.”

“I just want you to love me with something — I don’t even need everything Ames — but I’ll take it just the same.”





CHAPTER TWENTY



Axton



WE DECIDED TO plan the wedding for that coming weekend. That gave the guys enough time to spread the word and get the rest of the families ready for what Nixon had still tried to convince us would be “no big deal.”

Right.

Shooting two people at a wedding, what? Made it a party?